


Stay Stellar

by jacobisexual



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacobisexual/pseuds/jacobisexual
Summary: Welcome to another day at Hephaestus High, where Hera McCarthy tries (and fails) to keep fellow host Doug Eiffel from stealing the show on the morning announcements.  Doug, meanwhile, tries to stop making weird pop culture references for long enough to ask Hera out.  Renée Minkowski tries to resist the urge to strangle Student Council President Warren Kepler.  Daniel Jacobi tries to figure out what the hell he’s doing with Warren in a broom closet.  Plus, blazer-wearing vegans, Minkowski’s prop knife, and the hickey scarf.





	1. The M Word

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, this fandom is seriously lacking in high school AUs and I wanted to fix that. I wrote this with a friend who does not have social media. It's a pretty fun time and it's going to have a lot of chapters. Also, my tumblr is @mthedm if you wanna check that out! It's basically me screaming about podcasts.

“Good Monday Morning, Hephaestus High!”

“Yes, Monday, everyone’s favorite day of the week!”

“Doug, stick to the script! Ah, yes, we hope you have all had a wonderful weekend, and are ready for a new week of l-learning!”

“Ah, yes, education, because you’ll definitely need to know how to find the length of the hypotenuse in your day to day lives!”

“Shut _up,_ we’re supposed to be doing the announcements! On Friday-”

“What Hera, do you think I’m being too...obtuse?”

There was a laugh, then a loud whap.

Hera McCarthy sighed. “Back to the announcements; on Friday, t-there will be a student council meeting. The student council president, Warren Kepler sincerely apologizes for the potential inconvenience, but also, requests that you find a way to make it work.”

“So basically, screw you,” Doug Eiffel cheerfully elaborated.

Another sigh. “In other news, the science club will be meeting in room 204 on Tuesday after school until 3:30. If you are interested, please contact Alexander Hilbert for details.”

“Saying the club is meeting is a bit of a stretch, Weird Al is the only member. I went once, but then I found out it’s a science club, not a science fiction club. Too much Erlenmeyer, not enough Enterprise.”

“Next up, d-don’t forget to grab your tickets for the Scottish play, which is coming up next Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at seven, and Sunday at four. Tickets are eight dollars ahead of time and ten dollars at the door!”

“What’s the Scottish play? You mean Macbeth? The play starring Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? Macbeth Macbeth Macbeth Macbethedy Macbeth-beth, are you listening Renée?” Doug sang childishly into his mic.

Hera forged onward.

“The winter dance is fast approaching on the Friday after next, so get your tickets now. The event will take place in the school gym from seven until ten, and there will be free food! Don’t miss it!”

“Oh yes, that perfect opportunity for everyone to make a fool of themselves in front of the person they like, in hopes of maybe awkwardly slow dancing and avoiding eye contact.”

“Finally, Principal Cutter would like to remind everyone that even though winter break is coming up soon, and we are all very excited about it, that midterms are not long after we return, and we must not forget about our studies over the holidays.”

“I’m sure we’re all looking forward to that,” Doug droned. “First Christmas, then a bunch of tests! The gift that just keeps giving.”

“Well, that wraps up our news for today,” Hera said, through gritted teeth. “Have a wonderful day, everyone, stay st-stellar!”

“Macbeth!” Doug yelled one last time before his mic cut out.

“What the heck was that?” Hera asked, shoving Doug lightly as she got up. “Seriously, you know Renée is going to strangle you.”

Doug smirked, standing as well. “The look on her face when we get to bio is gonna be worth it.” He grabbed his backpack off of the floor.

“If you say so.” Hera rolled her eyes, and followed Doug out into the hall.

“Did you do the astronomy homework?” Doug asked.

“Yes,” Hera sighed, knowing what he was going to say next. It was basically a part of their normal routine at this point.

“On a completely unrelated note, can I borrow your astronomy homework?” Doug gave her his best puppy-dog eyes.

“Yes,” Hera agreed. “You can see it at lunch, kay?”

“You’re the best, Hera.” Doug grinned. “Hey, are you going to the Winter D-”

“Oh, Adam’s over there, I’d better go say hi,” Hera interrupted, her attention focused on a boy a little ways down the hall, who was waving to her and grinning. Adam Ingles had been Hera’s boyfriend since the end of sophomore year, and a constant headache for just as long.

“Okay, bye…” Doug sighed. He walked to class on his own, only to be ambushed by Renée Minkowski the exact millisecond he walked in.

“DOUG I CAN NOT _BELIEVE_ YOU DID THAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN THIS PRODUCTION?!” Renée screamed at him as he moved casually to his desk.

Doug rolled his eyes. “What, because I said Mac-”

“Don’t!” Renée cut him off, following him to their desks.

“Beeeeeeeeeth?” Doug finished, drawing out the second syllable with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“I. Am. Going to kill you. If anything goes wrong with this production at all, and I mean anything…” she was practically shaking with rage, so much she could hardly speak. “If so much as a _hair_ on the Scottish King’s wig is out of place, you will never wake up.”

“Pfft. You take this whole Mac-”

“Doug!” she cut him off again.

“Curse too seriously,” Doug finished his sentence. “The show will not be ruined just because some very talented, extraordinarily handsome, completely non-production related announcer,” he gestured to himself, “says the title. That’s not even how that works.”

“Actually,” Hera said, having just entered the classroom to join the conversation. “I b-believe the curse only applies when you’re in a theatre. Anywhere else, it’s perfectly fine to say Mac-”

“No one says it!” Renée ordered. “I thought you were on my side, Hera! You didn’t say it on the announcements this morning! Has this fool-” she kicked Doug in the shin, “-made you turn traitor?”

Hera rolled her eyes. “I only refrained from saying it to humor you. The Scottish play is famous for its superstitions, and I thought it would be a clever way to introduce it.”

Renée scoffed.

***

Doug was messing around with a test tube of a vaguely dangerous looking chemical. “So, what exactly is the point of this again? I spaced out through all the explanation and I didn’t do the pre-lab.”

“We’re analyzing this sunflower,” Hera said. “We’ll be testing it with several different chemicals, and preparing a microscope s-slide. Alexander, what are you...”

“I am starting experiment,” Alexander Hilbert, the assigned fourth member of their lab group, was already bent over a set of test tubes, measuring an amount of bluish liquid into a graduated cylinder. “You three can start microscope slide.”

“Hey is this important, Lexy?” Doug brandished his test tube.

“Ah, yes, put that down,” Alexander, scowling, reached over the plucked the test tube from Doug’s hand.

“I was using that,” Doug complained.

“You were going to burn a hole in your leg, dumbass,” Renée responded. She ripped a leaf from the sunflower plant and began to make the slide.

“Doug, how about you write down data?” Hera suggested, pushing the data sheet and a pencil over to Doug.

“Lame. I want to do some actual science, like, make this plant alive or something.”  
“It is alive, it is plant.” Alexander deadpanned.

“No, Al, I mean like, alive-alive.”

“It is alive, it is plant!” Alexander repeated. “Plant is living thing! And stop with the ridiculous nicknaming, I do not like it! My name is Alexander!”

“C’mon, _Ander,_ you know what I mean. Like, a walking, talking, slightly carnivorous plant!”

Alexander growled and continued with his own work.

“Ooh, like Little Shop of Horrors?” Renée chimed in, seeming legitimately interested.

Doug looked at her blankly. “Is that one of your dumb musicals? Where people sing and dance for no reason?”

“It’s not for no reason, it’s-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but c-can we please focus on the assignment?” Hera chimed in.

“Yes, let’s not waste time on how Doug wouldn’t know a reprise from a revue. Hey, is it 5 or 10 millimeters of-” Renée was interrupted by the piercing scream of the fire alarm. “Or not.” She filed towards the door, calmly yet efficiently.

Hera stood, pushed in her stool, and followed Renée to the door.

“Doug, c’mon!” she called.

Doug had rushed to his desk to pack up his things. “I’ll be a minute, go on without me!” He fumbled with his black hoodie. The lights had been turned off by one of the students leaving the room, but he noticed the shadow of Alexander as he put his backpack on. He was still sitting on his stool by the plant. “Al, what are you doing?”

“I am just finishing, go on without me!” Alexander replied, fumbling to mix a solution.

“Okay, but I’m not covering for you during roll call!” Doug picked up his backpack and dashed out of the room, trying to reunite with his class.

Alexander, working quickly in the dark room, the alarm still blaring in his ears, added the finishing touch to the sunflower, before standing and heading for the door. When he looked back, the sunflower was gone.

Success.

***

“I can’t believe you stayed behind to get your stupid hoodie! If it was a real fire, you would’ve died!” Renée scolded him as they walked back to class.

“But the point is, it _wasn’t_ a real fire, and I’m _not_ Darth Vader.” Doug said, setting his backpack down on the floor next to him. “Although that would be pretty freaking cool. Seriously, it was just some Ferris Bueller pulling the fire alarm to get out of school early. I need my stuff!”

“Uh… guys?” Hera said cautiously.

“No one wants to mess with your dumb stuff, Doug! Literally, you have nothing of value! Both material-wise and in general!” Renée went on.

“Guys,” Hera said again, shaking Doug’s shoulder.

“Ohhhh, you want to fight me, Renée Minkowski?” Doug challenged, balling his fists and smirking. “Let’s have it then!”

“I am not going to fight you, we’ll get in trouble. Plus, we have to finish our lab.”

“Yes, the lab, about that!” Hera exclaimed.

“Oh, you sure? You sure you don’t wanna fight? What if I said… _Macbeth?”_

“Oh that’s it!” Renée picked up her black pen, prepared for battle.

“Earth to Doug and Renée!” Hera yelled, stepping between the two. “The sunflower is gone!”

“As in… poof?” Doug asked, peering around Hera to see the lab table.

“As in poof,” Hera agreed. “As in, beam me up Scotty!”

“Oh, that was a good one,” Doug complimented.

“Wait, what do you mean it’s gone? It’s a sunflower, it can’t just up and walk away!” Renée stared at the lab table in confusion. It was, indeed, gone: flower, pot, and all.

“Well, it seems it has,” Alexander commented, bending over to peer under the table.

“Oh my God, first Warren schedules the student council meeting during the show, then our plant somehow goes missing- this is all your fault, Doug! None of this would’ve happened if you didn’t say the M word!” Renée raised an accusatory finger.

“The M word? Which M word, there are so many...moose, moon, marbles-you’ve obviously lost yours-magic, medical mumbo jumbo. Oh, did you mean...Macbeth?”

Renée crossed her arms over her chest. “Why do you find it so funny to ruin my life?”

“Because you’re cute when you’re mad,” Doug teased gleefully. Renée growled at him, twirling the pen in her fingers. “You know I take it back you’re not cute you're very imposing please oh God don’t hurt me!”

“Guys!” Hera interjected. “Help us look for the s-sunflower!”

“Look for the sunflower? Where did it go? How could it go anywhere at all? Is it on a luxury cruise to Hawaii?” Doug gestured wildly around the room, then lowered his hands to his sides.  
“Wait...you.” He turned to Alexander. “You were messing with the plant, weren’t you?”

“What? No, I-I did not mess with plant! I was just finishing experiment, that is all!” Alexander spluttered defensively.

Doug tried to rationalize. “When I left this room, the plant was still here. Which means you must have done something to it. Is it because I called you Weird Al on the announcements? Or because I said you sound kind of like a drugged up chicken sometimes?”

“I did not do anything!” Alexander persisted.

“Doug, leave him alone,” Hera said. “I’m sure this is just a mistake- maybe one of the other groups took our p-plant by accident.”

“Sure, is good reasoning,” Alexander put in.

Doug stared skeptically at Alexander for a moment. “Fine. But if I find out that you hurt Sunny, I will never stop calling you Weird Al.”

“You _named_ it?” Renée asked.

“No, I named _her,”_ Doug corrected. “Sunny is a lady.”

“Oh my god,” Renée groaned. “We’re doomed.”

***

Renée sighed. As she approached the enemy lunch table, she reminded herself that she had to be civil, for the sake of her acting career. Warren Kepler was there, wearing his blazer, looking uptight as usual. He was eating the vegan lunch option, a tofu salad that looked like something only the most pitiful of animals could enjoy eating. Sitting on his right was Daniel Jacobi, Student Council Vice President, who basically acted as Warren’s lapdog. He was currently winding spaghetti around his fork, looking rather bored. On Warren’s left was Alana Maxwell, the most tolerable member of the group. She had her nose in a book and hadn’t touched her food.

“Hello, Warren, I was hoping we could talk,” Renée sat down across from him, trying to sound pleasant.

“Ah, Renée, how good to see you,” Warren said cheerfully, twirling his plastic fork between his fingers. “I’ve heard you’re planning to skip the student council meeting this Friday, is that correct?”

“No, it is not,” Renée had to resist the urge to punch the smug bastard right in the face. “I was actually hoping you could reschedule the meeting, since it coincides with the play, and it is a very important vote that aims to take money from the arts and put it towards more standardized testing. Don’t you think someone actually involved in the arts should be there?” she asked optimistically.

“Oh Renée, _Renée…_ I really do try to include everyone, but sometimes it’s just not possible… I do hope you break an arm or whatever it is you’re supposed to say… what’s the show again… Macbeth, isn’t it?” He smiled as she cringed.

“I don’t see why it’s not possible, I mean, you reschedule and make new meetings all the time. Why does this very important vote have to be on the night of the show?”

Warren shook his head slowly. “I see it will be impossible to please everyone. You could always miss the show, if the vote means that much to you…”

“Yeah, I mean, who cares about the arts anyway?” Daniel piped up. “It’d be great if you could be there to vote for the budget shift with us.”

“Exactly right,” Alana chimed in, glancing up briefly. “What he said.”

“I care about the arts! And lots of other kids at this school do too!” Renée insisted. “You know, fine, don’t reschedule, I’ll be there anyway. I’m Lady Macbeth-” She gasped. “I mean, the Scottish Queen.”

“I heard that!” Doug shouted from across the cafeteria.

“Shut up!” Renée yelled back, her temper flaring. She was running out of patience. “As I was saying, I’m the Scottish Queen, so I’m only in certain parts. I will make it to the meeting, the vote won’t be unanimous, and the movement won’t pass,” she declared.

Warren set down his fork and leaned forward across the lunch table, his fingers laced beneath his chin. “In that case,” he said, smiling faintly. “I suppose we’ll see you there, Renée Minkowski.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leave a kudos or comment if you too would like to end Warren Kepler's life! We plan to update Sundays and Thursdays!


	2. The Doug Eiffel Fanclub™

“So, Hera,” Doug cleared his throat. The two sat in the hallway outside the locker rooms on Tuesday afternoon. Doug had been busy copying Hera’s astronomy homework, while Hera worked on her computer. Hera looked up, pulling down her headphones.

“Yeah, Doug? What is it?”

Doug cleared his throat again. “So, ah, Hera, the winter-” Suddenly, something caught his eye across the hall. He wasn’t certain, but he could’ve sworn he saw something green and leafy dart out of sight. He blinked, shaking his head to clear the vision away.

“Ah… I mean, what did you write here? I can’t read your, ah… handwriting…” he glanced down at Hera’s impeccably neat printing. “Yeah.”

“The equinox happens twice a year, it’s when the d-day and night are the same amount of time. You know, you could g-google this stuff.”

“Eh,” Doug said vaguely, still staring at the corner in the hallway where the thing had disappeared. “Don’t feel like it.”

Alexander walked briskly through the hall and passed the duo, arms filled with lab equipment, and turned left into the science wing.

“What are you up to?” Doug wondered to himself.

“Um, d-doing my comp sci homework.” Hera raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Doug muttered, getting to his feet. “I’ll be right back.” He ran down the hall, slowing to a walk as he approached Alexander. “Hey, so what was really up with you and Sunny yesterday, huh? Doing a bit of plant whispering or something?”

Alexander scoffed. “Plants do not whisper.” He continued walking down the hall, then stepped into their empty biology classroom.

“You sure, buddy? Hey, whatever it was you did to make that plant grow legs and walk away, you can tell me! I promise I can keep a secret,” Doug swore.

“I am not your buddy. If plant walks, plant walks. I am not responsible.” Alexander started arranging his lab equipment. Doug picked up a test tube from the rack, studying it.

“I don’t know… you seemed to be going real Jekyll and Hyde-y over there when I left the room.”

“I told you, I finished experiment.” Alexander went over to a shelf and removed a textbook.

“Put that down.” Alexander plucked the test tube from Doug’s hand and placed it back in the rack.

“Back off man, I’m a scientist,” Doug said, raising his hands in mock surrender.

“Are you staying for science club?” Alexander asked monotonously.

“Not unless you’re discussing the finer points of the Back to the Future sequels,” Doug replied, leaning against the wall. He waited a moment, the room silent but for the clinking of test tubes and flasks as Alexander unpacked his supplies. “Okay, fine. You don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to tell me. But if there’s some Godzilla-plant terrorizing the school, the truth is gonna have to come out eventually.” He headed for the door, stopping briefly to glance back at Alexander, only to sigh in disappointment at Alexander’s clear disinterest in his presence. “Whatever, Frankenstein.” He stepped out into the hall, intending to return to Hera to finish doing- that is, copying- her astronomy homework.

Out of nowhere, something distinctly plant-like darted out of a nearby classroom, scraping along the tile floor and dragged something reddish-brown behind it. Doug froze, watching as the thing scuttled halfway across the hall before stopping in its tracks. It raised a sunflower head to look at Doug, yellow petals twitching.

“Hello… Sunny…”

At the sound of his voice, the plant trembled and shot off across floor once more, disappearing around a bend in the hallway. Doug ran after it, but couldn’t see where it had gone. He slumped against a wall, trying to process his shock.

“That… that just happened,” he told himself. “Sunny is… Sunny is alive… oh my god… I’ve got to tell Hera and Renée…” He stood and sprinted back to the gym hallway, where he slid to the ground next to Hera and shook her shoulder.

“Hera! Hera, listen to me, the plant is alive!”

Hera slowly took off her headphones. “What?”

“The plant! Sunny! Sunny the Sunflower, the plant that disappeared from science class yesterday, Alexander did something to it, it’s alive!” Upon seeing the confused look on Hera’s face, he elaborated further. “A freaking sunflower just flew out of nowhere and tried to kill me! We have to do something, we have to tell Renée and-”

“Doug, flowers can’t...that’s ridiculous! Calm down. What did Alexander s-say?” Hera asked calmly, trying to assess the situation.

“Alexander just gave me some BS about not doing anything to Sunny,” Doug summarized. “Seriously, Hera, I’m not kidding around! There’s an evil plant monster out to kill me, I swear!”

“H-how exactly did it try to kill you?” Hera asked, still doubtful.

Doug put his hands to his neck. “It attacked me out of the blue and tried to strangle me with vines, like- like a snake or something!” He shook Hera’s shoulders. “We have to do something!”

“Doug, what the hell are you talking about?” Renée had just arrived on the scene.

Doug scrambled to his feet, gripping Renée’s shoulders and staring deep into her eyes. “Renée, Alexander created an evil mutant plant monster out of the sunflower that went missing yesterday, and it _just tried to kill me!”_

Renée blinked at Doug for a moment before rolling her eyes and brushing him off.

“Very funny, Doug. Ha ha.”

“No, _really!_ This isn’t a joke!”

Renée glanced over at Hera. “What’s he on about, Hera?”

“He claims that Sunny has come alive and w-wants him dead,” Hera explained patiently.

“Exactly! See, Hera knows what I’m talking about!” Doug argued.

“And do you believe him, Hera?” Renée raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know. He seems to at least think he’s correct. And Sunny did disappear to somewhere…” Hera trailed off.

“Really? You’re saying you believe this bullshit?” Renée asked incredulously.

“I mean…” Hera looked at Doug, who had a spark of hope in his eyes. “I think I a-actually might.”

“Hell yeah, Hera!” He raised his hand for a high five. Hera sighed a little, but smiled, high fiving him.

“I cannot believe you two! Hera, I suppose you’re in on this then? You can’t possibly mean that stupid sunflower is-”

She was cut off by a loud scream from Doug, who immediately began hopping around, flailing and kicking his leg, to which there was attached a cheerful sunflower, still sitting in a dirt-filled terracotta pot.

“Oh my- Doug, calm down!” Renée yelled, unable to do anything due to the dirt flying everywhere.

Hera scrambled to her feet, clutching her laptop protectively as she backed away. She stared at the creature on Doug’s leg in shock.

“Doug, hold still!” Renée exclaimed, suddenly holding a knife- it was only a prop, but the plant monster didn’t seem to care. It dropped from Doug’s leg and crawled, almost crab-like, across the hall, nearly knocking Hera off her feet as it shot beneath her, still dragging its pot behind it with a dry scraping noise.

“After it!” Renée ordered, dumping her backpack on the floor and charging down the hall after the plant.

Doug did not chase after the plant, but rather, collapsed to the floor, panting. “Ahhh… you saw that, didn’t you?”

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Hera instantly knelt down, looking over Doug worriedly. “Yes, I saw it, it was there, it was on y-you, and it c-crawled!”

“I know!” Doug exclaimed, his voice cracking. “I almost died!”

“Was it constricting you? Trying to h-hurt you?”

Doug rocked back and forth, hugging his leg. “It hurt my dignity,” he whimpered.

Renée returned, in rather a grumpy mood.

“The damn thing got away!” she said, throwing the knife- which was only a prop- onto the floor.

“Oh…” Doug muttered, looking rather sick. “That’s not good…”

“Well, it’s not like we need to catch it or anything,” Hera said reasonably. “All it did was scare us and hug Doug’s leg.”

“IT WAS STRANGLING ME!” Doug moaned, grabbing Hera by the shoulders (again) and shaking her violently.

“Calm down, you were just fine,” Renée snapped. “And Hera is right, we don’t need to worry about that thing.”

“The poor janitors,” Doug whispered. “They’ll never see the light of day again…”

“It’s going to be fine, Doug,” Hera tried to reassure him. “It’s just a potted p-plant...with a little attitude. How much harm can it really do?”

“I don’t know… that’s what I’m afraid of…”

“Come on, Doug, let’s go home. Don’t worry about it.”

Doug sighed and climbed to his feet, picking up his backpack as he did. “Okay… just promise me it won’t follow me home and murder me in my sleep?”

Renée glanced over at Hera. “No promises.”

***

Warren ripped off the corner of his journal page, folding it in half before he passed it under his desk to Renée.

Renée glanced at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously, and took the note, unfolding it beneath her desk and squinting to read his scrawled cursive handwriting.

‘Do you still plan to attend the meeting on Friday?’ he had asked her, in French. Show off.

“Of course,” Renée hissed. “Why?”

 _“En français,”_   Warren corrected her quietly. He continued scribbling down notes on the lecture in his French journal, planning to ignore her question until she complied.

 _“Of course I plan to attend the meeting,”_   Renée half growled, this time in french. _“Why do you care?”_

 _“Oh, no reason. I figured you had other matters to attend to. Your role as Lady Macbeth, your improv club, your science project,”_   Warren mused, not even bothering to look at her.

Renée blinked, her mouth falling open for a minute before she regained her composure. _“Yes, I am a very busy woman, and it does not help that you scheduled the important student council meeting on the same night as my show!”_

Warren chuckled. _“Renée, Renée, you know I can’t please everyone. As president, I dedicate myself to serving as many students as I can. You must understand that, with all the responsibilities you take on. I have priorities.”_

Renée balled her fists, wanting very much to wrap her hands around his neck and choke him. _“This vote involves the arts, for which I am the primary advocate! I should be the top priority in this meeting!”_

“ _It seems to me that you should be on my side for this. I mean, the arts are what is keeping you from this meeting, not me. And distracting you from what really matters, your academics. Math, English, Biology…”_   Warren glanced out of the window. _“Isn’t it Sunny out today?”_ The sky was a cloudy winter gray.

Renée took a deep calming breath before she replied. There was no way Warren could know about the plant monster, much less Doug’s stupid nickname for it. _“Is there something you’d like to tell me, Warren?”_   she asked slowly, keeping her nerves in check.

 _“Nothing at all, Renée. But it would be a shame if Principal Cutter were to discover what a Sunny day it is.”_   Warren smirked, dancing elegantly around the threat.

“Get to the point,” Renée snapped, in English, and a bit too loudly. A few other students looked up.

Their teacher stopped speaking, then glared at Renée. After their teacher looked away. He scribbled a note down and slid his journal over to her. Amongst his notes about the French Revolution, he had written, “Well, the show must go on. If our leading lady were to disappear during the performance Friday, someone might to be forced to tell Mr.Cutter about your little lab project.”

“What lab project?” Renée spluttered, shoving Warren’s journal back across the desk, careful to keep her voice down this time. She didn’t even care about speaking in French anymore; this was getting ridiculous. Warren had to be grasping at straws, he couldn’t possibly know anything about the plant monster.

 _“En français,”_   Warren hummed quietly, enjoying how on edge she was, the way she hung on to his every word.

Renée growled, but patiently repeated herself in french. _“I don’t know what lab project you’re talking about.”_

Before either could say anything more, the bell rang. Renée, looking livid, glared at Warren as he calmly packed up his notebook.

“I want an explanation, Warren Kepler!” she demanded.

_“Au revoir, Renée.”_

***

The Doug Eiffel Fanclub™ Chat

Renée: Warren knows about the plant monster.

Hera: How? What did he say?

Renée: I am going to strangle him I swear.

Hera: ?

Renée: Nothing definite, he wouldn’t stop dancing around the topic. Asshole

Renée: Basically he suggested that if I go to the meeting, he’ll tell Principal Cutter about the plant monster. Which he shouldn’t know about.

Hera: How could he have found out? No one knows but us

Renée: This doesn’t make sense.

Doug: us and dr freaky…

Renée: Oh Doug, there you are.

Renée: Are you seriously blaming Alexander for this again?

Hera: He could be right

Hera: Alexander is the only other one that knew

Doug: yeah, go hera!

Doug: see i’m not just an idiot sometimes i make sense too

Renée: That’s debatable

Doug: this chat is called The Doug Eiffel Fanclub™ for a reason

Hera: But it doesn’t matter who told Warren, what matters is what we do. You can’t let Warren  
bully you out of the vote, Renée

Renée: Oh, I don’t plan to. But right now, what’s important is that we get that plant.

Hera: What about after school today?

Renée: Can’t, tech rehearsals.

Doug: sure i can do that

Doug: do we have a plan or are we just going mental

Hera: We should make a plan

Doug: sounds good to me

Doug: any ideas cuz i got nothin

Renée: Hera, do you think you could hack the camera system? That might be a good way to track it.

Hera: I probably can

Hera: We can see if Alexander really did mess with it

Doug: finally!

Renée: Yeah, I guess we’ll see about that.

Renée: But that means Doug will be in charge of the actual capture.

Renée: Doug?

Renée: You still there?

Doug: just digging my grave that’s all don’t mind me

Renée: It’s a plant, get over it

Doug: im not going anywhere near that thing ever again

Doug: definitely not on purpose

Renée: Well, if you don’t, you can say goodbye to the entire arts budget!

Doug: nope nope nope nope nope

Hera: Please, Doug?

Hera: It’d be fun, we’ll be like the Ghostbusters!

Renée: Doug, come on, this isn’t that bad. We need your help.

Doug: eh…

Doug: i guess…

Doug: how exactly am i going to catch this thing

Doug: do we have a net or something bc i am not doing anything with my bare hands

Doug: maybe we could hypnotize it with music

Renée: Are you kidding me

Hera: Okay, maybe we BAIT it with music, to lure it into a cage or net or something

Renée: Sure, yeah, that might work.

Doug: what kind of music do plants like

Renée: Go google it or something, how should I know?

Doug: i thought you knew everything

Renée: I don’t know everything, I just know a lot more than you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, we update with a new chapter on Sundays and Thursdays! Would you join The Doug Eiffel Fanclub™?


	3. Who ya gonna call?  Plantbusters!

“Do you think Sunny will like Stayin’ Alive?” Doug asked.

“Yeah,” Hera answered distractedly. “Sure she will.” She typed away at the computer in the front office, trying to hack into the security cameras, while Doug worked on the mixtape they would use to lure Sunny into a cage.

“I mean, it’s a classic, but the beat is what you’re supposed to use for CPR, she doesn’t have a heart, and she apparently likes killing people, do you think that’d offend her?” Doug proposed thoughtfully.

“M-maybe,” Hera mused, not really paying attention. “Ha! Got it. Alright… room 359… Monday morning… here…”

“Did he do it? Did he do it?” Doug asked.

“G-give me a minute.”

Hera squinted at the screen, watching the figures move about. She shifted the mouse, clicked a few times, and the volume turned on. The fire alarm blared through her headphones, underneath which she could hear Doug and Alexander’s conversation.

“Al, what are you doing?”

“I am just finishing, go on without me!”

“What’s he d-doing now…” Hera muttered.

Alexander seemed to be mixing some kind of solution, working quickly in the dark and empty science classroom. Once he’d finished, he pulled the potted sunflower across the table towards him, and appeared to pour the solution into the pot. After that, he leaned down to pick up his backpack. The plant shifted, as if in a breeze, then tipped over and began scuttling away. When Alexander stood back up and looked over at it, Sunny was gone. He smiled before hurrying out of the room.

“That lying son of a bitch!” Doug exclaimed, doing his best impression of a betrayed and angry Renée. “He told me he did nothing! But there he is! Doing something! Renée thought I was crazy!”

“Hmmm…” Hera switched to a few other cameras. “I wonder…”

“Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive!” Doug sang quietly.

She had to wonder how the timing had worked so perfectly with the fire drill and the plant monster. Sure, it was possible Alexander had hacked the computers to figure out when a fire drill was scheduled, but Alexander didn’t seem that sort. More likely, someone else was in this with him and she was willing to bet that someone else was Warren Kepler.

“So, Hera, speaking of music, have you thought about going to the winter dance? I mean, I know you have a boyfriend, but friends go to things sometimes....”

After checking multiple cameras with fire alarms and finding nothing, Hera found the culprit. It was difficult to identify them from the back, but when they turned around a moment later, alarms screaming, she recognized them as Daniel Jacobi.

As the hallways filled with students, Daniel pushed his way upstream, soon disappearing from view of the camera.

“Where are you g-going…” Hera muttered, clicking onto other cameras in an attempt to follow him. He finally stopped after turning a corner and running into none other than Warren Kepler.

“I did it,” Daniel proclaimed.

“Good. Now we’ll just have to make sure Alexander does his part,” Warren muttered, staring blankly at the hallway just past Daniel’s head, a distant look in his eyes. His gaze turned to Daniel, and he smiled. “We only have about twenty minutes, we should meet Alana outside.”

“Or we could stay here!” Daniel said quickly. “To check on the flower. Or something,” he suggested, trying to cover up his mistake.

Warren raised an eyebrow, a smile still plastered on his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

Daniel hesitated, then spoke. “Maybe...we could do what we usually wait until third period to do.”

“Oh…” Warren’s calm smile morphed into a knowing smirk. With one smooth movement, he pushed Daniel against the wall. “You mean this?” he asked softly, leaning closer to Daniel.

“So, maybe we could go to the winter dance? Together? As friends?” Doug asked hopefully. He was instantaneously relieved when he managed to get the words out of his mouth.

“W-what the- h-holy-” Hera quickly clicked off the current camera, simultaneously ripping off her headphones. She was only vaguely aware that Doug had spoken, and was not in the mood to try and figure out what he’d said.

“I mean if you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll just. Third wheel you and Adam...And Renée and Dominic...so fifth wheeling, really. That’s fine. I’m fine.”

“S-sorry, D-doug, I can’t talk right-t now… j-just give m-me a minute…” Hera took a deep breath, closing her eyes and concentrating on mental images of puppy dogs.

“What is it? Are you okay?” Doug asked, becoming concerned.

“F-fine,” Hera stammered. “J-just fine…”

“What did you see on there?” Doug placed a protective hand on Hera’s shoulder, then turned the camera footage back on.

“N-no!” Hera exclaimed, lunging for the mouse, but it was too late.

Daniel Jacobi was being pinned against the wall by Warren Kepler. “Yes,” Daniel breathed. With that, Warren grinned and began fiercely kissing Daniel.

“Oh,” Doug said. “That explains a lot.”

The camera shut off suddenly.

“That’s enough of th-that,” Hera announced. “We need to move on now and f-find the plant monster, that’s what we’re here to do after all!”

“Wait, wait, but it makes sense now! I was making up a test after school once in this classroom, and Warren walked, in and he was like ‘Have you seen Daniel?’ And I was like, ‘nope.’ And then like five minutes later, I’m trying not to fail this test, but Daniel walks in and he’s like, ‘have you seen Warren?’ and I’m like ‘Yeah, he was looking for you!’ And they were gonna go do their thing! Their...crazy whamajama!” He gestured at the computer that had been showing the footage.

“Oh… kay…” Hera said slowly. “Um, moving on…” She clicked to one of the other cameras, careful to avoid the feed they’d been watching. “We need to find the p-plant monster…”

“You stay here, I’ll go search while you’re on cameras?” Doug suggested.

“Good plan.” Hera clicked around, moving back up to real time and checking the different cameras. “We can t-talk on the phone so I can let you know where it is, how does that sound?”

“Awesome sauce. We got this, Hera. We’re not going to let them hold Sunny over our heads.”

***

“If there’s something strange, in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?!” Doug sang along. There was no answer. “Hera, you’re supposed to say plantbusters!”

“Sorry, what? Was I supposed to say something?” Hera asked through the phone. He was walking through the halls, carrying a birdcage and a phone blasting the Ghostbusters theme song, on the lookout for a rogue plant monster.

“Yes, you’re supposed to say plantbusters! Because we’re plantbusting!”

“Um… okay.”

Doug jumped right back in with the song, satisfied. “Who you gonna call?”

“Uh, plant-” Hera sighed, having missed the cue. “Doug, can you just pay attention? Turn left here.”

“Heraaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Doug complained. He sighed. “So, I go left, right?”

“Right,” Hera replied.

“Oh, so I go right,” Doug said, confidently striding towards the right hallway.

“No, I said go left,” Hera corrected.

Doug froze. “But you said right?”

“I said go left, Doug.”

“No, I said do I go left, and you said ri-OH MY GOD IT’S HERE HELP ME!” Doug screamed as Sunny rounded the corner(from the left). “Hera what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?” Doug yelped, panicking.

“What? Where is it? Get it! C-catch it! Doug!” Hera yelled in the phone, feeling rather helpless.

Sunny lunged at Doug’s right leg, its two leaves crossed in an attempt to cling to him.

“It’s on my leg it’s on my leg oh my god I think I’m dead, HERA!”

“G-GET IT IN THE C-CAGE!” Hera shouted. “Stop f-freaking out!”

“AHHHHH!” Doug tried to shake the flower off of his leg, but it only hugged him tighter. He swung at it with his right hand, dropping his phone in the process. Suddenly, he couldn’t hear Hera anymore and 80’s pop music was still blaring for the whole school to hear. “Come on, get off!” Doug pleaded. Sunny’s grip weakened, her petals drooping, then released him and scurried away. “No, no come _back!”_ Doug yelled. He walked over and picked up his phone, calling Hera back. “Sunny got away,” he said dejectedly.

“How? Are y-you alright? What h-happened?” Hera asked anxiously.

“Well, she got my leg, and I couldn’t get her in the cage. Then I yelled at her and she ran away.”

“Is your l-leg alright?” Hera asked.

“Yeah, I think so. You know, it was more like a hug than strangling…” Doug noted.

“But it got away,” Hera confirmed.

“Yeah.. Should we keep going? I don’t feel like I can get it on my own. And we can’t find it without you on cameras.”

“I don’t know that a second encounter is going to be any more helpful than the first,” Hera sighed, sounding exhausted. “Maybe we should talk to Renée, perhaps she’ll have some ideas.”

“Yeah, Renée is terrifying, Sunny is terrifying, they should have a lot in common,” Doug said bitterly.

***

“So, remind me, what’s the plan here?” Doug asked nervously. It was Thursday afternoon-their last chance to catch Sunny before the student council meeting. Hera and Doug now had Renée to help them out, plus a rather devious plan up their sleeves that Doug didn’t know he was a part of.

“There… isn’t really one,” Renée said vaguely, looking around. “Just sort of… lure it here with music and stuff it in a cage.”

“Okay. And you’re going to do the stuffing, right? I’m just here for my pretty face and clever wit?” Doug checked.

Renée scoffed. “If only.”

“Wait, what?”

“So, Hera! Which way next?” Renée exclaimed suddenly.

“Take the next right. I trust you’re better at directions than Mr. Who’s on First over here.”

“Hey!” Doug objected to the nickname. “Your directions were confusing!”

“Or perhaps you’re just easily confused,” Hera suggested. “Anyway, keep an eye out, it’s somewhere around there.”

“Thank you, that really narrows it down,” Doug said, clearly not meaning it.

“Shut up, Doug,” Renée hissed. “Pay attention if you don’t want to get attacked again!”

“Holy- THERE SHE IS!” Doug pointed to Sunny, who was scooting her pot across the floor towards him.

“Really? Get it!” Hera shouted excitedly.

“Doug, I’m really sorry about this,” Renée said, giving him a firm push towards the plant monster.

Doug screamed as Sunny began latched onto his leg. “Oh god, not again!” he moaned in complaint, desperately shaking his leg.

Renée moved forward, cage at the ready. She knelt and began prying the creature from Doug’s leg. “Come! On!” she yelled through gritted teeth. “You’re coming with us!”

“Renée I can’t believe you did this to me!” Doug continued to shake his leg like a madman, at one point kicking Renée by accident.

“You’ll be fine!” Renée said, annoyed. “Stop kicking!” The plant detached from Doug’s leg and Renée flew backwards with Sunny in her arms. “The cage!” she called to him, struggling to restrain Sunny. “Get the freaking cage!”

“Oh god we’re all gonna die!” Doug exclaimed, but he obediently opened up the cage, holding it towards Renée, while keeping the rest of his body as far away as possible.

With quite a bit of effort, Renée wrestled the plant monster into the cage, slamming the door shut. The sunflower drooped against the bars, petals stretching outwards like little hands.

“Finally!” she sighed, leaning back against the wall in relief.

“You know, she looks kinda sad…” Doug said. “Like she’s reaching for me.”

“More like ‘she’ wants to strangle you,” Renée muttered. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. Hera, we’ve got the plant.”

“Her name is Sunny!” Doug corrected.

***

“Ca caw!” Doug signalled to Renée quietly.

Renée glared at him. The two were in the middle of history class, taking notes on a bunch of dead people. What could he possibly want?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she hissed.

“I’m still mad you used me as bait,” he whispered.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” she shot back. “Shut up and pay attention!”

“No way, this is lame. They all got the bubonic plague and died, who cares? So, I feel like because you betrayed me, you owe me one.”

“What do you mean by that? I don’t owe you anything, Doug!”

“Please, Renée? It’s just...I want some help.”

“With what?” Renée spat. “This had better be worth my time!”

“So, you’re a girl, right?” Doug asked tentatively.

“A woman, actually, thank you for noticing,” she snapped.

“Sorry, but, you like Dominic a lot, right?” he asked, wary of Renée’s wrath now.

“He is my boyfriend, so yes, it is implied that I like him a lot.” Renée said slowly, trying to figure out where the conversation was headed.

“So...you like him. And...how did you make sure he likes you?”

“I didn’t know. I just asked him out.” She squinted at Doug for a moment. “Is this about Daniel Jacobi?”

Doug gasped. “What? I-what? No! I don’t like Daniel!”

“You sure? I’ve been getting kind of gay vibes from him…” Her eyes widened. “Did you want to ask him to the winter dance?”

“No, no, no! Daniel is already very occupied in a... sexual way!”

“Wait, what? What the _hell_ do you mean by that?”

“Hera and I, we were watching security camera footage the other night, and when we found out Daniel pulled the fire alarm, he went off somewhere, so we kept watching. He met up with Warren and they were kissing,” Doug explained.

Renée blinked. “Oh. That’s… interesting. So… you’re not crushing on Daniel then?”

“No, I like Hera!” Doug confessed, before Renée could theorize about any other potential matches for him.

“Ohhhhh… huh. I didn’t see that coming.”

“Why not? She’s amazing, and smart, and beautiful, and understanding, and she always smells like strawberries!” He struggled to keep his voice down. “I keep trying to ask her to the dance, but something always gets in the way.”

“Maybe… the fact that she has a boyfriend?” Renée suggested.

“No, I’ve been trying to ask her! On Wednesday, I tried to ask her to the dance as a friend, but she was busy discovering the Warren-Daniel scandal! And before that I was attacked by Sunny! Besides, Adam is never around anyway, he’s a shit boyfriend, all he does is agree with her and hold hands with her, he’s practically a robot,” he grumbled.

“Well, the fact remains that she has a boyfriend,” Renée replied. “First Daniel, now Hera… you have a thing for people already in relationships, don’t you?”

“I don’t like Daniel! This is serious, Renée, I really care about Hera. I need your help.”

“Okay, okay, fair enough.” Renée thought for a moment. “Try learning some Shakespeare. There are a lot of really nice romantic quotes.”

“Is that how you tricked Dominic into liking you?”

Renée rolled her eyes. “First of all, I didn’t mess around. I actually worked up the nerve to ask him out, because I knew nothing was going to happen unless I made the first move. Second, it helps that he wasn’t already dating someone.”

“So...what do I do? That doesn’t help me, Renée! Maybe I should just ask Daniel…” Doug pouted.

“Maybe you should just ask Hera!” Renée snapped in reply. “Although there’s nothing wrong with going with Daniel if that’s what you want…”

“I keep trying, but she’s always busy, or distracted, or with Adam! When can I even do it? Last time I tried she was busy discovering a secret romance between our student body presidents!”

“What about in class, like we’re speaking now? You have astronomy with her, don’t you?”

“I mean, yeah...so, in class then. I’ll do it. But I think I’ll wait until this whole plant monster ordeal is over…”

“That’s pretty smart.” Renée whispered, fixing her eyes back on the front board. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading! This chapter teases a bit of Kepcobi, but we get much more into the relationship in the next chapter. Leave a kudos if you’re looking forward to that or a comment if you think Doug should just ask Hera out already(or Daniel)!


	4. The Innocent Flower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for a little bit of relationship type violence at the end of the first scene bc Kepler is the worst. It's not that intense, more threats of things.

Daniel glanced at his watch. “The show just started,” he informed Warren. They, as well as Alana and Alexander, were the only people occupying the student council’s table. Warren sat at the head of the table, Daniel on his right, Alana on his left, and Alexander next to her. There was one empty chair next to Daniel. No sign of Renée.

“Excellent,” Warren said pleasantly. “Let’s begin the meeting then. As I understand, we have quite a bit on the agenda for tonight.”

“Yes, and obviously, we should begin with the vote on putting a portion of the arts budget towards more standardized testing,” Daniel asserted. Not that it mattered much; everyone already knew they had won that battle.

“Actually, if you had bothered to pay attention during our last meeting, you would remember how we already voted for it to be later on the agenda-Renée seemed particularly in favor of it. There’s no need to rush, Daniel.” Warren’s lips curled into a cruel smile. “Now, Alana, what do we have first?”

“Warren,” Daniel started. He was hesitant to argue, but he knew the consequences he’d suffer would be worse if he let this vote fail. “We should get it out of the way, just in case.”

 _“Daniel,”_   Warren said firmly, his gaze intense. “We _will_ have time. Don’t worry about it.”

Daniel winced, struggling against his survival instincts, the ones that told him to back down. “I’m just saying, what if she decides she doesn’t care about what you said to her?”

“Are you questioning my authority? My ability to run this meeting?” Warren’s voice raised suddenly, filling the small room.

“No, I’m questioning your judgment,” Daniel snapped before he could stop himself.

Warren rose from his chair, scowling down at Daniel. “How _dare_ you? I am the president of this student council and I will not tolerate such insubordination in my meeting!”

Daniel got to his feet as well, staring Warren down. “I’m your vice president, and you’re being foolish. You should _trust_ me!”

At that moment, the doors to the classroom flew open to reveal Doug Eiffel and Hera McCarthy, the latter carrying a large cage that held a sentient plant. It gripped the bars with its leaves, its sunshine yellow petals waving ominously.

“Nice weather we’ve been having,” Doug said, as Hera set the cage on the ground and began fiddling with the lock. “Nice and… Sunny.” His eyes locked with Warren’s for a brief second before the cage was open and the plant monster shot from it. The four student council members went berserk, and Doug and Hera stood back, admiring their handiwork.

Daniel grabbed Warren by the back of his blazer, then proceeded to throw himself under the table, dragging Warren with him. “I told you!” Daniel hissed. “I warned you!”

Alana had finally looked up from her phone, just in time to see the plant monster throw itself at Alexander. She immediately stood, backing away from him and his leafy situation.

Warren swatted Daniel’s hands away from him, beginning to get out from under the table, his intent to assist with the plant monster issue and personally annihilate Doug Eiffel.

“What are you doing?” Daniel gritted his teeth, holding tight to the back of Warren’s blazer.

“I’m going to _fix_ this rather than hiding under the table like a coward,” Warren said pointedly.

“Don’t bother,” Daniel said, his lips curving into a hint of a grin. “This is funny.”

“You’re right, Hera, this was an awful idea,” Doug teased, elbowing her as they both watched Sunny wreak havoc, in the normal way that two people would go about watching a particularly good movie.

Hera laughed a little. “You’re insane, Doug. Absolutely insane.” She raised her hand for a high five that Doug met with glee.

“Ha! Look at Warren! This is golden! I hope Renée shows up soon though…”

Hera looked down at the two boys under the table arguing as they struggled physically with each other. She tried to avoid having a terrible flashback to what she’d seen on the security cameras. To distract herself, she pulled out her phone and took a selfie. Her, Doug, and this whole mess. She and him were grinning like madmen, Alexander was trying to detach Sunny from around his neck, Alana trying to avoid the action, and Warren and Daniel under the table. It was perfect. “What should I caption this?” she asked Doug, showing him the image.

“How about… ‘Another Sunny day’?” Doug suggested.

“Perfect!” Hera exclaimed as her fingers flew across her phone keyboard. She posted the picture to her snapchat story. Soon after, she received a text from Renée. ‘On my way.’ “It’s time,” she told Doug.

“And now, presenting Her Majesty, the Queen of Scotland!” Doug proclaimed dramatically above the chaos. “Lady Macbeth!”

Renée entered. She was wearing a ruby colored medieval gown, as well as a small golden crown. Her makeup was dramatic, but the most terrifying thing had to be the prop knife in her hand.

Doug whistled shrilly, and Sunny perked up, detaching herself from Alexander’s arm and scooting across the room to wrap her petals around Doug’s leg.

Just before Doug left the room, he turned and locked eyes with Daniel, who was still beneath the table and happened to be clinging to Warren’s blazer. Doug winked and was satisfied to see Daniel’s eyes grow wide. “Catch you later.”

With that, he and Hera departed, leaving the student council to the mercy of Lady Minkowski.  
“So, what did I miss?” She asked triumphantly, dragging a chair to the head of the table opposite Warren’s usual place.

Alexander didn’t answer, he simply picked a leaf off of his shirt, glaring at it with distaste.  
Daniel crawled out from under the table and returned to his chair. Warren followed a moment later, seething with rage.

“Renée,” he said through gritted teeth, as he straightened his blazer and resumed his seat at the opposite head of the table. “I was under the impression you weren’t planning to attend tonight’s meeting.”

“What, because you threatened me?” She scoffed. “I’m Lady Macbeth, Queen of Scotland. Nothing scares me.” She sat down, smoothing her gown beneath her. “Let’s commence the vote, shall we? I have a show to get back to.”

“I believe we are waiting for-” Warren began.

“Nothing,” Daniel finished for him. “As Vice President, I make sure that we follow our schedule, which says we should vote on the issue,” Daniel said, fearlessly locking eyes with Warren.

Warren was fuming. “Daniel Jacobi, as president of this student council-”

“As president of the student council, you ignored my plea to do this vote first thing. Anything that happens from here on out is your fault, Warren,” Daniel forged on stubbornly.

Ordinarily, Warren would not have stood for this sort of disloyalty. Clearly, Daniel did not care one bit about how the vote ended up, just so long as Warren didn’t get his way. It was ridiculously petty. At this point, Warren had two options: continue to fight this battle, or take a step back- for now, at least. And he had to admit, he was leaning toward the latter…

“Alright then,” Warren leaned back in his chair, watching Daniel carefully. “Proceed with the vote.”

As expected, the movement failed to pass thanks to Renée’s outstanding vote and the unanimous vote requirement. Afterwards, she rushed off to continue the show with time to spare. The remaining members went on with their student council business. Daniel stayed silent, mulling over what he’d done. He was beginning to regret his actions, and fear for the repercussions they might have. For the remaining hour of the meeting, he listened to Warren, Alana, and Alexander weigh in on issues and suggest ideas. His anxiety was worsening; He kept staring at his watch. It ticked on, a constant reminder of the impending end of the meeting. Soon his hand was shaking so much he could barely read the time. He remembered bitterly that the overly expensive watch had been a gift from Warren, along with a snide comment about punctuality. Lateness was the least of his worries now. What had he done? When the meeting arrived at its close, Alana and Alexander scurried from room as hastily as possible, predicting the fallout to come. Daniel stood quickly, hoping he too could miss out on it.

“Daniel,” Warren’s voice was chilling. “Walk with me.”

“Yes,” Daniel agreed reluctantly, trying not to let the terror seep into his voice. He waited for Warren to stand before he began making his way towards the door.

For a little while, the walk was silent, which would’ve been pleasant if tension hadn’t hung in the air like thick fog. Suddenly, just as Daniel was beginning to relax, Warren grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him into the lockers, their faces centimeters apart.

“Don’t ever,” he breathed. “Cross me like that again.”

Daniel nodded shakily. His previous rebellious spirit was gone, replaced only by its prominent consequences.

Warren relaxed his grip on Daniel’s shoulders, leaned back, and smiled. “Good. I’ll see you on Monday. In choir.”

With that, he strode off down the hall, leaving Daniel to anticipate and to dread.

***

On Saturday night, Warren attended the school play, and his first order of business was to find Renée backstage and have a little chat with her. He pushed open the backstage door without regard to the sign dictating that only cast and crew should enter and found himself in a whirl of actors decked out in medieval style clothing and armed with swords and daggers, and crew members, dressed black, carrying set pieces and props. Renée and her blood red gown were easy to spot amidst the sea of color, and he quickly made his way to her.

“Hello, Renée,” he purred, tapping her on the shoulder. “Good to see you again.”

Renée couldn’t help but jump a little in surprise. She turned around and pointed her prop knife at him. “What the hell are you doing back here?! You are not crew, and you definitely aren’t cast!”

Warren raised his hands in mock surrender, though his face remained unchanged. “I just thought I’d wish you luck on your performance tonight. There’s no need to threaten me.”

“I have no need to threaten _you?_ That’s rich, considering what you tried last week.” She lowered her knife. “You know what I don’t get, Warren?”

“What is that, Renée?” Warren asked calmly, smiling for no apparent reason.

Renée resisted the urge to shiver. “You come back here, clearly meaning to psych me out for our biggest performance, acting like you’re just a friend who wants to wish me luck! I don’t get it; why pretend? You’re so two faced. Daniel is an asshole, but at least he doesn’t hide it.”

“‘Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't,’” Warren recited, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m sure that line is familiar to you, isn’t it, m’lady?”

Renée couldn’t hide her shock. “H-how do you know that line? We don’t learn Macbeth in school. And you hate the arts!” she accused.

“Mmmmm… when it comes to Shakespeare, I’m a bit of a fan,” Warren admitted, grinning slyly. Before Renée could reply, the director was calling for places, and she was forced to leave that particular scene for another.

When she returned for intermission, placed on top of her purse was a single red rose. “The innocent flower…” she mumbled.

***  
“So, I know you want to stay with me, but you just can’t stick around! You wouldn’t stay in the park, is the school better?” Doug said, prying the clinging plant from his arm.

Sunny continued to cling to Doug’s arm with her leaves, despite Hera trying to keep the pot in her hands away from him. “Let’s just hope it stays out of trouble. Why do you think it’s so attached to you anyway?” Hera yanked Sunny away from Doug with one powerful tug. The plant’s petals seemed to wither in sadness.

“There’s no reason to look so sad,” Doug muttered. “Considering you tried to murder me on multiple accounts.”

“M-maybe it thinks you’re like, its dad or something. You were there when Alexander made it come to life,” Hera suggested.

“Um. Okay. Sure.”

“I don’t know, there has to be some kind of reason it imprinted on you. Every time we were together in a group, it al-always went for you. And I doubt it was because of your music taste.”

“Of course it was because of my music taste!” Doug protested. “I have amazing music taste.”

“You’re not a very good plantbuster,” Hera said with a smirk.

“I am a fantastic plantbuster,” Doug insisted. “We got the plant eventually, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but that was because of Renée, you were just bait.”

“It was a pretty important job.”

“That you were completely unaware of,” Hera reminded as they finished crossing the parking lot, reaching the open window of their biology class.

“I almost died, give me _some_ credit!” Doug exclaimed.

“It wouldn’t h-have killed you, clearly it likes you or we couldn’t have gotten it to cause all that chaos in the meeting.”

“Pshhhhh whatever. Let’s just stick to the fact that I almost died, kay?”

“Sure, Doug. Sure. So, would you like to do the honors?” Hera offered the plant’s pot to Doug.  
Doug took the pot from Hera and held it up to the open window. “C’mon, Sunny, time to go home,” he said, in what he hoped was an encouraging voice.

Sunny rotated her flower around to face Eiffel, like she was looking at him with no eyes. She wrapped her leaves lightly around his arm, then released him a few seconds later. She crawled through the window and they listened to her pot scrape along the desks until they couldn't hear it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, fourth chapter up! Hope you keep reading because Chapter 5 is one of our favs, it'll be posted Sunday, it's highkey Kepcobi and what more could you need?


	5. Why the Fuck Are You So Close to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Kepcobi being an unhealthy relationship, they're the absolute worst.

Daniel: ALANA

Daniel: I FUCKED UP

Daniel: I FUCKED UP SO BAD

Daniel: HELP ME

Alana: Daniel, it’s midnight.

Alana: I was sleeping.

Alana: And I can’t help you, you basically committed suicide in that meeting.

Alana: What got into you?

Daniel: I know, I know

Daniel: I’m just sick of him telling us what to do

Daniel: But seriously I’m so fucked help

Alana: I thought you were kind of into that.

Alana: I mean, that’s who Warren is.

Daniel: Wait what

Daniel: idk what you’re talking about tbh

Alana: It’s obvious you two are together in some capacity, although considering Warren I can’t imagine it’s romantic.

Daniel: How

Daniel: How the hell do you know

Alana: It’s the way you look at him.

Alana: Also, that ugly scarf you always put on after choir. Clearly not a fashion choice, you’re hiding hickeys.

Daniel: Well now this is really fucking awkward

Daniel: Fuck

Daniel: So at least you understand how fucked I am

Daniel: plz help

Alana: I don’t know how to help you.

Alana: What did he say to you after the meeting?

Daniel: He told me never to cross him again and that said he’d see me in choir on Monday

Daniel: He was very vague but that just means he’s super pissed and I’m super screwed

Alana: I mean, I’m in hot water too. I’m sure he’s furious the movement didn’t pass.

Alana: What do you think he’ll do to you?

Daniel: You are not in hot water believe me

Daniel: Honestly you don’t want to know

Daniel: I don’t even want to know

Alana: Are you having sex with him?

Daniel: I don’t know

Daniel: Maybe

Daniel: How is this relevant

Alana: So you are. Why are you with him if you’re unhappy? I always assumed you liked being controlled.

Daniel: I never said we were

Daniel: What the hell do you mean I like being controlled

Daniel: Can we get back to the fact that I’m completely fucked tomorrow

Daniel: And don’t you dare make a joke about that

Daniel: Seriously

Alana: I mean, I don’t know how you want me to help you with that. You fucked up, Warren is mad. He’s going to take it out on you now, nothing you can do about it. Just hope it’s not too bad, keep yourself in line in the future.

Daniel: Thanks?

Alana: Can I go back to bed now?

Daniel: If you really want

Daniel: I suppose I’ll be left to the mercy of Warren Kepler

Daniel: If you never see me again, you know who is responsible

Daniel: Avenge me, Alana

Alana: Good night, Daniel.

Daniel: Night

***

Daniel had hardly slept or had a moment’s peace all weekend. He couldn’t stop thinking about his actions at the meeting on Friday and worrying about the consequences to come. Unfortunately, the weekend ended too soon, and Alana wasn’t much help in reassuring him. Daniel’s first two classes sped by, and he found himself sitting in choir.

Usually, Daniel spent half the class glancing over at Warren or watching him when the other boy wasn’t looking. He knew Warren would signal him by making eye contact when it was time to sneak out and do their thing. Today, however, he avoided Warren at all costs, staring down at the floor or his music, anything at all to keep from meeting those stormy eyes. Maybe, just maybe, if he ignored Warren long enough, he might escape his punishment.

Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful. About halfway through the class, Warren stood and made his way across the room, brushing roughly past Daniel on his way to the door. Although no words were exchanged, Daniel got the message. He sat still for a moment, listening to the door close as Warren left the room.

He didn’t want to go. He really didn’t want to go.

This was the problem with Warren. There were days when Daniel wanted nothing more than to follow Warren into the broom closet. And then there were the days like today, when death almost would’ve been a more favorable choice.

But there was no escaping it. Daniel knew from experience that Warren wasn’t going to let him get away. Giving in was his only option.

Finally, he stood, and moved quickly and quietly to the door, slipping out into the hallway where Warren waited for him.

“You took your time getting out here,” Warren criticized as he began to walk down the hall. Daniel only shrugged, not trusting himself to speak. “You didn’t look at me during class. You usually won’t stop staring, it’s kind of irritating,” Warren said cruelly.

“Sounds like a pleasant change, in that case,” Daniel muttered, staring at the floor as they walked.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t find your change on Friday quite as pleasant.” Warren stopped walking as they reached the closet. He spent a moment simply looking Daniel up and down; he could see his nerves in the way Daniel stood- his shoulders were slumped and he kept shifting his position. He was in no state to lie. “Why did you do that, Daniel?”

Daniel took a deep breath. A desire for rebellion rose in his chest, but he pushed it away. Speaking out at this rate would only make the coming moments more agonizing. “I’m just… I’m sick of you telling me what to do all the time.” Had he been in a more confident mood, this might have been a very bold statement. Instead, it came out meek and afraid, more like a nervous confession. His own weakness made him sick.

“Oh really, I thought you were into that,” Warren teased with a smirk, before his expression darkened. “If you don’t like my orders, you can leave. And you’ll be all alone, just like you were in freshman year until you met me.”

Daniel’s cheeks flushed bright crimson. “I did just fine on my own.”

Warren scoffed. “You wanted to die. You failed classes and you threw yourself into fights you couldn’t win, which, coincidentally, is what you’re doing right now. If you want to go be alone again,” he spread his arms. “Then go. I don’t need you.” He looked to the closet. “Or… you could continue following my orders.”

Daniel remained rooted to the spot, but raised his eyes to meet Warren’s. “You wouldn’t just let me go. You like having this power over me, don’t you? I may have been a mess but I’m not an idiot.”

Warren almost let out a laugh. “Sure, I _like_ having this power over you. I like that I can tell you to leave class to make out with me just by looking at you and you’ll do it. I like that you’ll break the rules without question for me. I like that you’re so into me that you don’t even mind that I don’t give a damn about you.” He lowered his voice. “And I know, deep down, you like it too. Or else you wouldn’t be here. Maybe you’re just ashamed.”

Daniel grit his teeth and balled his fists, but it didn’t help the fact that Warren, frustratingly enough, was right. “That’s not true. Come on, Warren, we both know why we’re out here. Let’s get this over with.”

“I’ll take my time, just like you did leaving class,” Warren promised as he placed his hand on the cold metal doorknob of the broom closet. He opened the door. “After you,” he invited calmly.

Daniel stiffened, looking from Warren to the dark closet. With no other choice, he walked inside.

***

Daniel sat down to lunch across from Alana.

“Nice scarf,” she said, without even looking up from her phone.

“Shut the fuck up,” Daniel shot back. He glanced around. “Where’s Warren?”

“I don’t know, but he usually doesn’t skip lunch. Maybe he’s talking to Mr. Cutter. You know he wanted that budget bill passed. If students pass it unanimously, it doesn’t have to go through all the administrative red tape. And Warren stays in Mr.Cutter’s good graces. So, when you screw up, Warren yells at us, Mr. Cutter yells at Warren. It’s the chain of command.”

“I think I’ve had enough of angry Warren for today,” Daniel muttered, picking at his grilled cheese.

“How was choir?” Alana asked, her face still illuminated by the blue glow of her phone.

Daniel glared up at her. “Seriously? You comment on my scarf and then you feel the need to ask? You guess how it was, go on.”

“Well I mean, you make out with Warren often, but he’s not always as mad at you as he was today. Did he say anything to you? Were things…” She paused, searching for the word while cringing a little. “Rougher?”

Daniel sighed. “What do you think?”

Alana shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t understand the nature of your relationship.”

“Is that so? Well, to put it simply… it’s really fucking complicated.” Daniel shook his head. “Do you really think- I mean, sure, I sort of kind of like Warren, but he just… do you think it’s true he doesn’t give a damn about me? Am I blind? Or just… I don’t know. It’s stupid to hope.”

“Yes, it is,” Alana agreed bluntly. “Warren doesn’t give a damn about either of us, beyond our use to him. We’re tools, not friends. I knew that when I joined up with you two, I thought you did as well. You think just because you’re having sex, he cares about you?” She snorted. “That’s not realistic.”

“I never said we were doing that,” Daniel objected halfheartedly. “And it’s not totally unrealistic to think he might care about me a little bit… considering… you know, the intimacy.”

“If he cared about you, he’d get you a better scarf,” Alana teased. “But seriously, Warren Kepler doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Just because you two have sex- which you definitely do because you haven’t denied it- doesn’t mean he fundamentally changes as a person.”

“But like… ugh, I don’t know. Yeah, I guess it is stupid. Whatever.” Daniel continued poking his sandwich around his lunch tray. “And we are _not_ having sex.”

It was at that point that Warren sat down next to Daniel.

Daniel jumped. “Oh, hey-” Daniel went silent as Warren pressed a kiss to his cheek. Alana blinked a few times, processing, then suggestively smirked at Daniel.

“Hey,” Warren greeted the two, frustratingly casual, pretending not to notice how disruptive his action had been.

“What- you- I- why did-” Daniel glanced over at Alana. As much as he wanted to say something to Warren, he didn’t dare do it while Alana was sitting right there. She didn’t need confirmation of anything more than she already had. “You fucking moron,” he muttered under his breath.

Alana sighed. Daniel had no sense of self-preservation when it came to Warren.

“Excuse me?” Warren asked, words laced with false innocence.

“What?” Daniel feigned ignorance. “I didn’t say anything. So, where were you?”

Warren decided to let the comment slide, satisfied with the drastic effect one semi-affectionate kiss had had on Daniel. He was so easy to manipulate. “So I was talking to Principal Cutter,” he began, adjusting his blazer. “How do you think he’s feeling about the budget bill not passing?”

“Just peachy,” Daniel joked, rolling his eyes. “What exactly did he say?”

“I said guess,” Warren reminded. “Would you like to try, Alana?”

“Ummmm...not great?” Alana suggested meekly.

“Wow, what a show of clairvoyance. You both have such incredible intelligence and boundless skill, it’s a wonder that you two are the reason we’re here in the first place. Really shocking, given how gifted you two are.” As Warren went on, he began letting the anger show in his voice. “No, Daniel, he was not feeling _peachy._ In fact, I would dare say he was the _opposite_ of peachy. He was livid and I am livid. Now, if either of you would like to survive past Midterms week, you’re going to fix this.” He smiled. “I don’t care how, I don’t care what you do, but solve this, or you’ll wish that sunflower had strangled you. Oh, and Daniel?”

“Huh?” Daniel asked, becoming concerned.

“If you fail, because you created this mess, what we did in choir this morning will seem like nothing,” Warren swore.

Alana appeared to be extremely interested in her phone once again.

***

Daniel: What the fuck man

Daniel: Alana was right there

Daniel: Helloooo

Daniel: Don’t you fucking ignore me

Daniel: It’s been three fucking hours

Daniel: I know you read those

Daniel: Fucking read receipts

Warren: I wasn’t ignoring you. I have a life, Daniel.

Warren: You’re going to have to be more specific.

Daniel: Do I need to be specific though. Do I really

Daniel: I thought we were supposed to be a secret

Daniel: Alana is already on to us, you only made this worse

Warren: If you don’t want Alana to be “on to us” then maybe you shouldn’t be talking to her about our sex life.

Warren: Besides, I thought you wanted me.

Daniel: I wasn’t talking about our sex life

Daniel: She was talking about our sex life

Daniel: I was blatantly denying anything for the record

Daniel: Whether I want you or not is irrelevant

Warren: I had spent fifteen minutes getting torn apart by Mr. Cutter because you betrayed me. I wanted some comfort. Is that so wrong?

Daniel: You expect me to believe that shit

Daniel: You wanting comfort, that’s a laugh

Warren: Sure, you just caught me in a bold faced lie. But do you care? No. You’re probably a little turned on by it.

Daniel: I am not

Daniel: Also could you stop waiting ten fucking minutes to reply to everything it’s really fucking annoying

Warren: Yes, you are and no, I won’t.

Warren: Do you want to come over tonight? My parents are at a conference out of state.

Daniel: I’m not having sex with you tonight

Warren: I mean, that wasn’t my intent, but I wouldn’t object.

Daniel: When do you ever invite me over to do anything else

Warren: So you aren’t coming?

Daniel: I’ll come over if you help me with my chem hw

Warren: You have a 101% in chemistry, Daniel.

Daniel: I thought you wanted me to come over

Warren: I also want you to be honest with me.

Daniel: Fine

Daniel: Maybe I do want you

Daniel: I’ll be over in ten

Daniel: Fuck you, Warren.

Warren: Sure, in ten minutes.

***

Daniel woke with the rising sun in his eyes, in a room he’d become familiar with over the years of being with Warren. The sound of gentle breathing next to him told him Warren was still asleep, and he rolled over in bed to get a better look at the other boy.

Warren said Daniel stared at him a lot, and he wasn’t wrong. Maybe it was a little messed up- okay, really messed up- but even though Warren didn’t care about Daniel, Daniel found himself attracted to Warren. Sure, he was scary sometimes. Sure, Warren had a habit of controlling Daniel, of making him feel like a useless puppet. Sure, there were those days in the broom closet when Warren was absolutely terrifying.

And yet Daniel found himself staring. He found himself enjoying their time together- the pleasant times at least. He found himself wanting more.

Besides, Warren looked like such an angel when he was asleep, when those vibrant eyes were closed and unthreatening. Warren couldn’t make Daniel feel anger or regret when he was asleep, hard as he may try to make Daniel feel them when he was awake.

Daniel shifted, freeing one of his arms, and brushed a bit of hair out of Warren’s face, smiling to himself. This was the part Warren would never understand why Daniel enjoyed. The part Warren could never know about. The part where Daniel could simply love him without a thought for the consequences.

Warren’s eyes fluttered open. For a second, his gaze was calm. As always, it was the calm before the storm. “Why the fuck are you so close to me?” he snapped. “Next time, you’re sleeping on the floor.”

Daniel rolled away, staring up at the ceiling, his heart sinking in his chest. This was the part that always ended too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my personal favorites in this very long fic, writing it hurt me(it also hurt Jacobi. A lot.) Hope y'all enjoyed!


	6. Human Affairs

Ever since the plant monster incident Doug had found biology class extremely boring. Usually, he either slept, doodled in his notebook, or bothered Renée for the entirety of class. Today, he happened to be doodling and bothering Renée, who was attempting to pay attention and write neat, legible, actually helpful notes in her notebook. Doug’s notes, meanwhile, were virtually non-existent, and consisted mainly of a few messily scrawled words or shaky diagrams. The margins were the real attraction , filled with random little doodles and scribbles and cartoons.

While he was drawing, an idea struck him, and he glanced across to Hera, who was hurriedly copying down definitions while somehow maintaining her perfect handwriting. In the corner of his notebook, he wrote a quick question, and slid it across the table to Hera- only for it to catch on the gap between the tables and shift to Alexander’s desk.

Alexander squinted at the page. “Will I go to-”

“nooOOOO,” Doug dove across the table, pulling the notebook back to his desk. Hera looked up at the two of them and held a finger to her lips.

Renée looked at the notebook, despite Doug’s attempts to cover the writing. “Oh my god, really?”

“Shut _up,”_   Doug muttered, scratching out the message.

“You are an idiot,” Renée sighed.

“Can I s-see?” Hera asked, innocent to the cause of all the chaos.

“Nah, it’s nothing,” Doug whispered, ripping the page in half in an attempt to destroy the evidence of his failure.

“Then why are y-you tearing it up?” Hera asked intelligently.

“Just ah… bad drawing…” Doug said.

Hera frowned. “Okaaaaay…”

Renée snorted. “Yeah, it was a pretty bad drawing,” she emphasized the word, clearly criticizing his proposal method.

Doug hit her with his notebook.  
***

Renée passed Warren a note, resisting the urge to smirk. On it, she had written two French words: _Je gagne._ I win.

Warren read the note calmly, then passed it back to Renée with a reply (in French, of course).

_For now._

Renée rolled her eyes before quickly penning a response. _Winning is fun, I think I’ll continue. Why did you leave me that flower?_

 _I quite enjoyed your performance as the Scottish Queen. I believe it is tradition to give actors flowers after a show?_ Warren wrote back, smiling to himself.

_You put it on my purse and I found it during intermission. It was creepy._

_I really don’t see why you have such a problem with me. I was only trying to be polite._

_Liar._

At that moment, their teacher began calling out names of partners for a long-term project they were going to be working on, and Warren didn’t get a chance to write back to Renée’s note.

Warren and Renée watched their teacher went through countless names, pairing off people who looked relatively discontent with his choices. Then, the teacher called their names. Together.

Warren glanced over at Renée to see how she was taking the news. Renée’s hand instantly shot into the air. “Can I work alone?”

“Excuse me,” Warren said, mockingly offended. “What about me? If you work alone, I’ll have to do the work of two people by myself, which is very unfair.”

Renée sighed. “Fine.”

“Shall we get started then?”

As their teacher passed out rubrics, Warren slid a new note to Renée with two words scrawled on it: _Je gagne._  
***  
Alana: So we need to catch that plant monster.

Alana: Or else Warren is gonna be super mad and probably kill us.

Daniel: Yeah he was really mad last night

 Alana: ...why were you two together last night?

Daniel: I meant this morning

Daniel: Fucking autocorrect amiright

Alana: Riiiiight.

Alana: You two had sex, didn’t you

Daniel: NO

Daniel: Definitely not

Daniel: Why would I even do that

Daniel: I mean, yeah, he’s hot and he looks really cute asleep but I’m not fucking him

Alana: Are you kidding me?

Alana: “he looks really cute asleep”  
Alana: You literally just admitted to having seen him asleep, hence implying that you fucked.

Daniel: No

Daniel: He fell asleep in class one time

Alana: BS

Alana: I honestly don’t care what you two get up to just wear protection.

Alana: Anyways, back to the plant monster at hand.

Daniel: Of course we do

Daniel: I mean, never mind, what

Daniel: Do we think it’s still in school

Daniel: I bet I could make a fucking awesome weed killer

Alana: You literally just admitted you two have been banging.

Alana: But yes, plant killer would be useful.

Daniel: That was not a thing that I said

Daniel: You free tomorrow? We could go kill it together

Alana: Once again, BS

Alana: I am free tomorrow. Sounds like a good plan.

Daniel: I have not

Daniel: I just

Daniel: We don’t

Daniel: I’m a virgin

Alana: You’re so in denial.

Alana: It’s almost funny.

Daniel: What would I have to do to convince you I’m not fucking Warren

Alana: Actually not be fucking Warren.

Alana: I’m not going to believe this BS about you being a virgin.

Daniel: I am

Daniel: I have never had sex with him

Daniel: All we do is make out in a broom closet sometimes

Alana: And you’re telling me you haven’t once wanted him enough to let him fuck you?

Daniel: Of course I’ve wanted to, but who says he wants me that way?

Alana: No one.

Alana: But come on, he would so do it just to show you he’s in control.

Alana: You know that’s the only reason he does anything with you.

Daniel: That’s not true

Daniel: He must like me, at least a little.

Daniel: He’d get rid of me if he was bored

Alana: Then clearly he’s not bored.

Alana: So you admit it then, you two have sex?

Daniel: No

Daniel: All I was saying was that there’s more to this relationship than just control

Alana: That is so not true.

Alana: Look, I have no problem with the fact that you’re fucking Warren and making out in closets and whatnot. I just think it’s fair to warn you that he doesn’t give a damn about you other than as a tool to make him feel like he’s in control. When he does get bored, as I’m sure he will, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Daniel looked at the paragraph of text he’d received from Alana. He shook his head, then turned his phone off. He hated when she was right.

***

Alana: Are you and Daniel having sex?

Warren: I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Alana. Why the sudden curiosity in human affairs?

Alana: Daniel is refusing to admit that you two sleep together, but I think it’s pretty obvious. Just looking for confirmation, that’s all. Maybe you could tell him to stop being an idiot for me.

Warren: I’ve been telling Daniel not to be an idiot ever since the day I met him. It’s never worked.

Alana: Unfortunately for the two of us.

Alana: Really though, you are fucking him, aren’t you?

Warren: Yes, I am. Satisfied, Alana?

Warren: I know he is.

Alana: Oh God, TMI

Alana: But yes, I am.

Alana: I don’t have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with you using and manipulating Daniel and lying about having feelings. Be careful or you’ll be answering to me.

Warren: Alana, are you threatening me? You really have been talking to Daniel too much. Let’s get something straight-I’m in charge here, not the other way around. I allow you to get some benefits of my power because I find you useful, but if you threaten me over my paltry sex with Daniel, that will end. Clear?

Alana: Clear.  
***  
Daniel tossed the grenade from hand to hand. “So, how are we planning to find this thing anyway?”

“Not a clue. Look around for shed leaves or something, I guess?” Alana peered around the corner of a hallway before proceeding, scanning the floor for traces of the plant monster. The two had remained at school to track down the creature, but were realizing a few flaws in their seemingly simple task.

Daniel looked around, noticing no fallen foliage on the cheap tile flooring. “How do we even know if it stayed in the school? It could be in a field somewhere or in Warren’s pool for all we know.”

“We can only hope,” Alana sighed. “I doubt a plant could open doors, so let’s assume that’s the case and go with that. Why don’t you try calling it, if you’re so impatient?” she suggested sarcastically.

“Oh plaaaaaaaaaanty,” Daniel called out in a singsong voice. “Here, planty, planty, planty!”

“That’s one way to do it,” Alana muttered.

A flash of green shot out of a nearby doorway and latched itself onto Daniel’s knee. “It worked!” Daniel bragged. He quickly pulled the pin from the weed killer bomb, letting it fall to the floor with a clink. Soon it would explode and solve their problems very quickly.

Only it didn’t.

Seconds passed. More seconds passed. The plant monster continued to hug Daniel’s leg and he made eye contact with Alana.

“Well? Why isn’t your stupid bomb working?” Alana demanded.

“I only had a fucking day to put it together, okay?! I don’t walk into your house and tell you you’re coding wrong!” Daniel spat out defensively.

“Because my programs never fail,” Alana snapped. “I thought explosives were your passion!”

“Passion takes time, and Warren didn’t give me any!” Daniel argued. “You know how he is, now help me get this thing off my leg!”

Alana rolled her eyes. “Fine!” she knelt and began tugging at the plant’s leaves, trying to loosen its surprisingly strong grip on Daniel’s leg. Finally, she tumbled backwards with the plant in her arms. Trailing dirt, it skittered away across the floor, leaving Alana sprawled on her back. She sat up, brushed herself off, and climbed to her feet just in time to see the plant monster disappear around a corner.

“Fuck,” Daniel said, picking up the failed bomb off the floor. He turned it over in his hands, confused. “I thought it would work,” he muttered.

“Well, what the hell did you do wrong?” Alana asked, peering over his shoulder.

“Gimme a sec.” Daniel raised the bomb above their heads, shaking it a little. Then, it went off. The casing came apart in his hands and both of them were immediately hit with the extremely strong scent of chemicals. “...Did it,” Daniel pointed out.

“Fuck you, Daniel,” Alana swore, scrunching up her face in disgust.

“I think Warren might mind that,” Daniel remarked. “Besides, aren’t you ace?”

Alana shoved him in annoyance. “Shut the hell up.” She sighed. “Ugh, now I’ll have to go home and shower… you can go on with the hunt if you’d like, considering it was your bomb that failed. Otherwise, I guess we’ll stay after tomorrow and try again.”

“Yeah, I’m done, I only made one bomb anyway. Fuck the plant monster.”

“I think Warren might mind if you did that.”

***

“So, how’s the search for the plant monster going?” Warren asked Daniel and Alana, as they sat down to lunch on Thursday.

“It’s going-” Alana began, but Daniel rushed in.

“It’s done, we killed it, I used my weed killer bomb, it was great,” Daniel lied impulsively.

Warren’s eyebrows raised in delight. “Excellent! Good to know that it will no longer be a threat.”

“Ah, actually-” Alana started again.

Daniel kicked Alana under the table. “Actually nothing, the dumb sunflower is dead. Problem solved, things are f-”

Before Daniel could finish his sentence, he found Warren pressing a kiss to his lips, lingering for a bit too long before pulling away.

“I’m proud of you, Daniel.” Warren said softly, before returning to his lunch.

Alana seemed suddenly very interested in her book.

Daniel stared at Warren, gaze fixed mostly on his lips. “I...uh...thank you.”

“You’re normally such a good kisser, Daniel.” Warren said condescendingly.

“I still am,” Daniel protested, leaning towards Warren to prove it.

Warren pulled away ever so slightly. “Save it for third period tomorrow,” He whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Doug, he's pitifully bad at romance. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, Kepler's the worst, and chapter 7 will be up on Sunday!


	7. You're Mine Now

“Happy Friday, Hephaestus High! First things first, the winter d-dance is tonight! Tickets are twelve dollars at the door, and there will be free food! The event will be in the school gymnasium, and goes from s-seven until ten.”

Doug let out a noise that sounded like a canary being strangled.

Hera glanced over at him briefly, concerned, then went on with her announcements.

“Next up, the student council will be holding a m-midterm re-election after the winter break. The only announced candidates at this time are incumbents Warren Kepler and Daniel Jacobi.”

“Please, god, someone run against them, literally, anyone would be better. I would rather our student council president be Khan, wrath and all.”

“Finally, P-Principal Cutter would like to remind you all, once again, that midterms are coming up very soon after the winter b-break.”

“We all _really_ needed the reminder.”

“Have a great day everyone, and remember, stay stellar!” Hera finished.

Doug took a deep breath as they went off air. “Sooooooo, Hera.”

Hera picked up her backpack and headed for the door, unsuspecting of what was to come. “Yeah?”

Doug followed. “So, you’re a person and I am a person, and, together, we are two people.”

“Agreed,” Hera said, sounding amused.

“So I was thinking maybe you’d want to go to the dance tonight with me? Not like, in a romantic way, but like, as friends?” Doug rushed the words out of his mouth so he couldn’t panic and chicken out. Once he’d finished, he smiled at Hera nervously.

Hera stopped and looked back at him, taking in what he’d said. “Oh, Doug, that’s… that’s so sweet of you.” Doug looked at her hopefully. “But I’m… Adam already asked me, Doug. I’m going with him. Sorry.”

Doug’s face fell. “Oh...oh. That’s um. That’s cool,” he replied in a small voice, trying to seem less upset than he was. “Save me a dance?”

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Thanks,” he said glumly.

“D-did you want to see my astronomy homework?” she offered, hoping to cheer him up.

“I did it last night,” Doug lied, not wanting to prolong his interaction with her. “Oh hey, there’s Adam,” he informed her as he recognized the presence of her boyfriend in the hallway.

“Oh.” Hera glanced over and, indeed, saw Adam. “Right. Well… see you later then.”

“Bye, Hera,” Doug said, forcing a smile.

“Bye,” Hera said, but Doug had already turned away.

***

Third period couldn’t come fast enough. For once, Warren was proud of him, not angry or annoyed, and Daniel knew their time in the broom closet would be that much better because of it.

Which meant it was one of those days when Daniel watched Warren throughout the class, almost without blinking, waiting desperately for the other boy’s signal.

Warren kept him waiting. For ten minutes, he felt Daniel’s gaze on him, and for ten minutes he didn’t shoot him so much as a glance. Then, he began watching Daniel out of his peripheral vision. He went on like that for a moment, until he briefly met Daniel’s eyes. He hastily looked away, pretending as if it hadn’t happened.

Daniel’s heart skipped a beat. He started to get up, but saw that Warren wasn’t moving. What kind of game was he playing?

Warren didn’t acknowledge that anything had happened, completely ignoring Daniel. He went on like that for about five minutes more, wanting to test Daniel’s patience before he finally abandoned his seat and walked out into the hallway.

Daniel took a deep breath and got to his feet, practically bouncing to the door. He went outside where Warren was waiting for him, trying not to express his excitement.

“You seem eager,” Warren said as he began to slowly walk down the hall.

“What? No! Not at all,” Daniel said quickly.

“Not at all?” Warren stopped walking. “I mean, we can stop if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t mind going back to class.” He raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to!” Daniel exclaimed. “I never said that. Pretty sure.”

“Are you sure? I’d understand if you were tired. After all, you spent so much time hunting that plant monster, anyone would be exhausted.” Warren injected some artificial pity into his voice.

Daniel’s heart was racing, though he was getting annoyed at Warren’s little mind games. Why did Warren always have to make him express everything they both knew he was thinking?

“I’m just fine,” Daniel insisted, nearly begging. “Come on, or we’ll run out of time.”

Warren leaned against the wall, seeming unmotivated. “I don’t want you to be ‘just fine’. You say you don’t like it when I control you, Daniel. Are you letting me do this because you know I want to, or do you want to as well?” He raised the question, already knowing the answer, but wanting Daniel to have to admit it.

Daniel was angry at how right Warren was, but he couldn’t bear to wait any longer. His pride could suffer for now. “Because I fucking want to, okay? Is that good enough for you?” Daniel replied, crossing to the closet and placing his hand on the doorknob.

Warren grinned, crossing the hall with almost the same amount of eagerness, albeit for different reasons. “Perfect.” He made sure to brush his fingertips gently across Daniel’s wrist as he opened the closet door.

Once they were both inside, Daniel pulled the door closed behind them, casting the two into darkness. Feeling bold, Daniel reached up, resting his hand at the back of Warren’s neck, and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

For once, Warren simply allowed Daniel to do as he wished, rewarding his bravery with a delicate hand placed on his hip. He closed his eyes, letting Daniel take all the control he wanted.

This was new territory for Daniel. Warren must have been really happy with him, because he made no moves to stop him or assert dominance, as he normally would have. Daniel progressed slowly and gently, too nervous to be rough even if he’d wanted to be, and Warren responded with ease to his every movement. Before he realized what he was doing, he’d backed Warren against the wall, enjoying the feeling of being on the other side of this familiar exchange.

Warren obeyed Daniel’s every cue, using his one hand on Daniel’s hips to tug him closer, to press the two together. It was sweet, not the greedy haste that Daniel was used to from him. But the sweetness was short lived. In one swift motion, Warren had reversed their positions. The movement was volatile and harsh; as he flipped them, he slammed Daniel against the wall with no warning and no remorse. Their kiss and the spell of the moment was broken. Fire danced in Warren’s eyes as he studied Daniel, nervous prey that had just realized how little power he truly had.

Daniel trembled, his eyes forced to meet Warren’s. He didn’t understand what was going on, just that Warren had tricked him once again, bending Daniel’s desperation and desire to his own twisted will.

Warren waited, staring at Daniel for what had to be an agonizing amount of time. For a few seconds, the only sounds were their heartbeats- Warren’s steady and unwavering, Daniel’s fast, riddled with terrified upticks. Warren leaned close, so his mouth was near Daniel’s ear. “If you ever lie to me again,” he began to whisper, tightening his grip on Daniel’s hips into something that would inevitably leave bruises. “I will kill you,” he promised, not even having to look into Daniel’s eyes to sense the fear radiating from him.

Daniel didn’t trust himself to speak. He knew what this was about, and he hated himself for letting it happen. How did Warren even know they’d let the plant monster escape?

“Come on, talk to me,” he dared. “Tell me the truth, Daniel. How did you kill the plant monster again?” Warren’s voice was soft, tempting, deceptive. He slipped his right hand under Daniel’s shirt, running it along his side, the intimacy its own kind of threat.

“I…” Daniel felt as if he was choking on his own voice. He hated how such closeness could make him forget himself, how a simple, teasing touch could make him feel this weak, when just moments before, he’d been confident and bold.

“You?” Warren prompted, removing his left hand, the one with the firm grasp on Daniel’s body, to caress his cheek instead. “Not a very good answer to my question,” he said, voice tipped with something malicious.

Daniel wanted to shrink away from Warren’s fingers, despising the way he touched him without reservation, as if Daniel’s body were somehow an extension of his own. How was it again, that Daniel enjoyed this so much? Why did he let this happen again and again? “W-we tried,” he breathed, his eyes sliding shut in an attempt to break contact with Warren’s stormy gaze.

“Open your eyes,” Warren demanded sharply. The rage was clearer in his voice now, more pronounced.

Daniel obeyed, his heart racing. When would this end?

“Why did you fail?” Warren pushed.

“I… I made a bomb with weed killer, b-but it didn’t work,” Daniel whispered.

Warren pretended to take a moment to think. “So...making explosives….chemistry...the one thing you’re supposed to be good at...you failed?”

Daniel nodded stiffly, transfixed by Warren’s burning stare.

“And then you lied to me about it?”

“We planned to take care of it.” Daniel squirmed slightly in his discomfort.

“You know, between this, and what you did at that student council meeting...I feel like I can’t trust you, Daniel.” Warren sighed deliberately. “Maybe you’ve outlived your usefulness.” With that, Warren took his hands off of Daniel, then stepped away. He looked at Daniel for a second before shaking his head in disgust, turning and leaving the closet.

Daniel relaxed for a moment, sliding down the wall to crouch on the floor, where he let his breathing return to normal, and tried to process the scene that had just played out in the dark closet. He came to a conclusion, sitting there in the dark, and this conclusion led him to a course of action: he had to destroy the plant monster.

***

Alana: Hey

Alana: You seemed upset in comp sci

Alana: You okay?

Alana sighed, looking at her phone in worry. Daniel had barely eaten at lunch. He’d flinched every time anyone spoke to him in seventh period class. When Daniel didn’t text her back and it was getting to be late in the afternoon, she texted again.

Alana: What did he do to you?

No response.

***

Daniel was determined.

The remainder of the day had been spent going through plans in his head, ideas for how to capture the elusive plant monster and destroy it. When the time the bell rang at the end of the day, he still had nothing. But that was no excuse.

He hurried off along the emptying hallways, watching for a flash of green and listening for the scrape of a terracotta pot along the tiles. But there was no sign of it, not even a trail of dirt. He peered into every classroom, scrutinized every nook and cranny, and even banged on a few lockers. Nothing.

In Daniel’s mind, catching the plant monster was the only way he could regain Warren’s trust. This creature was what had gotten them into this mess, and Daniel was sure as hell going to get them out.

It was an hour or so before Daniel finally found something: a small pile of dirt on the floor by the teachers’ lounge. Daniel looked into the room, which was dark but for the faintly glowing vending machines. He jiggled the doorknob, but the room was locked.

He might have moved on to check somewhere else, but he heard a sudden rustling from inside the room. Daniel squinted, trying to see more clearly through the dark, but there was nothing. However, he was almost certain the plant monster was in there.

Daniel glanced around to ensure the hall was empty, then took a paperclip from his backpack and unfolded it, using it to pick the lock. The door swung open, and Daniel stepped inside, pulling the telltale door closed behind him.

He heard the rustling again, and turned towards the noise. Daniel kept his footsteps as light as possible, moving closer to the source of the rustling. He thought he could see a shifting shape in the darkness, and lunged at it, tackling the creature to the ground with a yell.

It was in his arms. Daniel was pinning it to the ground, although the creature was doing its best to wrap its soft green arms and legs around his throat. He wrestled with it, hoping, perhaps, to crush it beneath his weight. But it seemed the plant was winning. The vines tightened around his neck, making it extremely difficult to draw breath. He couldn’t keep this up much longer.

Daniel heard voices from outside, but he couldn’t afford to let the plant monster go, not after he’d come this far to find it. Not after it had escaped him once before.

“You’re mine now,” Daniel gasped out.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and the lights flashed on. Daniel was blinded, and the plant monster fled, retracting its vines from around his neck. He was left collapsed on the floor, coughing and muttering curses under his breath, without the plant monster, at the mercy of whatever staff member had just entered the room to find him in this state.

***

“So, Daniel Jacobi, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” Principal Cutter was smiling in the most insincere way possible.

Daniel bit his lip and stared at the floor. He was angry with himself for so many things, and now, this was just one more thing to add to that list.

“Would you like to explain to me why you broke into the teacher’s lounge? Was it perhaps, a grade you wanted to change, a test you wanted the answers to...someone you wanted to impress?”

Daniel shrugged, still glaring at the floor. There was no good reason he could tell Principal Cutter for why he was in the teacher's’ lounge. ‘Hunting an escaped plant monster’ was hardly a valid excuse.

“Well, whatever the reason, I will be calling your father, and you’ll be getting an afterschool detention. This really is quite disappointing, you know. I mean, you seemed to be doing very well alongside Warren Kepler. Shame.”

Daniel’s head snapped up. “Don’t call my father, please! I’ll serve detention all next week, all next month, for the rest of the school year if I have to, please, just don’t tell him about this!”

“Daniel, have you read the school handbook?” Principal Cutter asked, still smiling as if Daniel’s panic was giving him pleasure.

“I… I don’t… sir, please…”

“Because Rule Number 752 of Pryce and Carter’s How to Survive High School Handbook states that students are not to damage or tamper with any school property. And Rule Number 244 states that any violation of the handbook should result in a parent phone call. You don’t have a mother for me to call, do you?”

Daniel fixed Cutter with a blank stare, intended to be filled with malice, but filled instead with exhaustion. “She’s not around.”

“Well, if you’re waiting for her to get off work or something, feel free to wait here and I can call her later,” Principal Cutter offered knowingly.

“As in she left us seven years ago and she’s not coming back.” Daniel replied, through gritted teeth.

“Oh. Shame. Guess my only choice is to call your father then.” Principal Cutter reached for the phone on his desk.

“No, please, sir, I know it’s in the rules, but can’t you make an exception? Just this once? Please, you don’t know what he’s like!”

“Pryce and Carter’s How to Survive High School Handbook, Rule Number 901: Nobody is an exception to the rules.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up Thursday, and it's the dance! Hope y'all enjoyed!


	8. Fifth Wheel Eiffel

Doug looked around at the colored lights and chattering people. It was the night of the winter dance and he stood alone by the refreshments table, since both Hera and Renée were off with their boyfriends. He was still a little annoyed that Adam had been forward thinking enough to ask Hera to the dance before he could, but then, he had waited until the last minute.

“Hey, Doug. How’s it going over here?” Renée approached him, wearing a simple dress of navy blue and a few pieces of silver jewelry. “You look lonely.”

“Don’t mind me, just fifth wheel Eiffel,” Doug said under his breath.

“What was that?” Renée asked.

“What? Me? Lonely? Nahhh, I’m not lonely, not one bit… except maybe a little… where’s Dominic?”

“He found some friends to talk to. I’m more concerned about how you’re doing. Not taking Hera’s rejection too hard?”

Doug sighed. “I guess not?”

“Hey, at least you tried.”

“The day of the freaking dance,” Doug muttered. “I shouldn’t have waited. And even if I had asked her like last week or something, she already has a boyfriend.”

“Hey guys,” Hera greeted the two. She had appeared by them without either of them noticing. She was wearing a short silver dress that was slightly reflective. It wasn’t complicated, but it was cool. “Renée, you look so pretty!” she complimented. “Uh...you look great too, Doug.”

Doug jumped. “Oh, Hera! Hey! Hi Hera!”

“Hey Doug.” Hera tried to ignore the fact that she felt vaguely guilty. Doug was here alone, she had Adam, Renée had Dominic… “Is the punch good?”

“It’s excellent,” Doug said, calming his nerves. “And you look great, Hera, by the way!”

“Th-thanks.”

 

“So, ah, where’d Adam go?” Doug asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“Bathroom,” Hera answered, awkwardly shifting her eyes away. Doug seemed so unhappy. “Are you h-having fun? Dancing?”

Doug shrugged. “I don’t really dance.” He looked towards the hall. “I’ll be back in just a minute.” He set down his drink and headed off into the crowds of people.

***

Daniel slipped in through the gym doors, adjusting his old suit jacket nervously.  
Alana and Warren were standing against a wall, surveying the other students and talking to each other. Alana, not the dress-up type, wore a hoodie and jeans, while Warren wore a finely tailored black suit.

Daniel sighed, knowing this would only get worse the longer he dragged it on. He made his way over to the two, careful to cut through the throngs of people so Warren wouldn’t see him coming. “Hey, what’d I miss?” he asked, praying Warren would skip tearing into him for how late he was.

“Not much.” Warren said calmly, taking in Daniel’s less formal, slightly too big attire. “I can see you took your time trying to look your best.”

Daniel barely resisted the urge to cringe as Warren looked him over. It felt invasive and possessive. “I got held up.”

“By what, exactly?”

“Dad gave me a hard time.” Daniel grimaced, his left hand naturally going to his aching right arm.

“What an inconvenience,” Warren drawled, watching Daniel’s movements with little sympathy. He knew what went on between Daniel and his father. It was just another piece of the Daniel puzzle that he’d completed back in freshman year. “At least you’re here now. It would’ve been embarrassing if I was here without my vice president.”

“Glad I didn’t embarrass you,” Daniel said, the remark a bit too quick to be genuine. He was sure he’d pay for it later.

“Hmmm. Yes.” Warren agreed, sounding bored.

Alana, still leaning against the wall, was watching Daniel with concern. He’d never responded to her texts from earlier, and she was worried that something serious was going on.

Daniel didn’t look at Alana or Warren. He leaned against a wall, listening to the shitty pop music they were playing and trying not to think. It wasn’t as easy as Doug Eiffel had always made it seem. He couldn’t get Warren’s words out of his head, that he might have outlived his usefulness. Daniel claimed he was fine on his own, but both he and Warren knew it was a lie. He certainly wasn’t fine now either, but it was definitely an improvement. At least things felt purposeful. At least he wasn’t alone. At least he had those small romantic moments where everything was alright. Before, there was just...nothing. There was screaming and fighting, but nothing else.

And there was no real reason for there to be nothing. He was good at things- or at least, something. He was reminded of Warren, telling him he’d failed at the only thing he was good at. He fucking hated him sometimes. He had this way of twisting words and controlling everything. He had this way of making Daniel feel like he was the best he could possibly be, but that it was only because of him. And sometimes, Daniel liked it. He liked not having to make decisions, just being able to listen, to complete, to know he was on the winning side of every battle. But he also craved some kind of normalcy, some kind of affection that wasn’t all an illusion.

“Dance with me,” he told Warren.

Warren turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me? That sounded rather like an order, which doesn’t make much sense, seeing as it came from you, Daniel.”

“We’re at a dance. Dance with me,” Daniel continued, unwavering as he stepped away from the wall.

“I am not going to dance with you,” Warren said firmly, glaring at him.

“I’ll be back later,” Alana muttered, quietly slipping away.

“So you’ll kiss me in public and have sex with me, but you’re too good for a dance?” The shitty pop song Daniel recognized from its endless repetition on his car radio was coming to an end.

“I don’t like dancing,” Warren growled.

“I don’t care.” With that, Daniel grabbed Warren by the wrist and dragged him onto the dancefloor, just as a slow song was beginning to play.

At first Warren wanted to pull out of Daniel’s grasp, but then decided against it. He didn’t like how demanding Daniel had been lately, especially considering his failing performance as Warren’s right hand man, but if he was getting jumpy and Warren kept blatantly ignoring his wishes, it would only create the perfect recipe for disaster on the behalf of their relationship. So, painful as it was, Warren let Daniel dance with him- but only after he took the lead. As long as Warren was in control, he’d let this happen without protest.

“You look good tonight..” Daniel murmured as they swayed.

Warren rolled his eyes. “You are… satisfactory. As always.”

“You read a lot of Shakespeare for someone who hates romance.”

“You do know that most Shakespearean romances end in tragic death, don’t you Daniel?” Warren purred.

“We could be different,” Daniel claimed. He believed it, too.

“You’re trying to make this into something it’s not,” Warren said coldly. “You know I don’t give a damn about you and yet you keep coming back. There’s a wide chasm between the fairytales you’re dreaming of and the reality you’ve got, so I’d suggest you get your head out of the clouds before you get yourself hurt.”

Daniel scowled. “Why couldn’t we be? Why are you so against feeling anything for anyone? If you don’t feel anything, what’s the point of all this?” he challenged.

“The point is that you’re addicted to me and I like it. I would’ve thought you’d figured that out by now. You let yourself have feelings, and see what you’ve become?”

“Stop,” Daniel tried to interject, not wanting to hear any more of this. It cut too close to the truth.

“You’re a hopeless mess who can’t even do his job right anymore. And you expect me to treat you with respect?”

“Stop!” Daniel demanded desperately.

“With affection?” Warren spat. He paused for a moment, relishing in the pain in Daniel’s eyes. Then, he leaned forward, stopping inches from Daniel’s face. The other boy’s eyes closed in anticipation of a kiss that never came. Warren pulled back, out of the embrace, and left Daniel alone on the dancefloor.

***

“Doug, what is _wrong_ with you?” Hera dragged Doug away from the fight, trying her best not to scream.

“He started it!” Doug exclaimed. “He said-”

“I don’t care who s-started it, what are you, ten? Is this because I didn’t come to the dance with you?”

Doug clutched at his hand, which was hurting from punching Adam in the face. “No, it’s got nothing to do with that! Adam said your stutter was really annoying! He said it was impossible to have a conversation with you sometimes, which is so not true! Can you really blame me for fighting him?!”

Hera’s anger faded for a moment. “H-he wouldn’t say that. He’s so nice...And y-you still shouldn’t have punched him.”

“I was defending you! Seriously, normally I have absolutely no problem with Adam, he’s a great guy, y’know, but I could not stand for him saying anything mean about you!”

“I don’t need you t-to defend me! Adam wouldn’t do that, and even if he did, you can’t just attack people!”

“What did you expect me to do? Stand by and let him say that? Yes, I attacked him, but honestly, I’m more hurt than he is!” Doug argued.

“Your hand is only hurt because you punched him!” Hera sighed. “I know you don’t like him, but still! What about how hurt I am? My best friend s-since middle school and my boyfriend decided to beat each other up in the hallway!”

“I. Was. Defending. You!”

“I didn’t n-need you to! You think no one has ever mocked me for my stutter before, Doug? I-I’m used to it. Everyone does. It doesn’t mean he s-should be hurt. I’m going to go talk to him. You should get some ice.”

“Hera, wait! Hera!” Doug called after her, but Hera didn’t return.

Now, not only was she not interested in dating him, she completely hated him.

***

Alana spent her time wandering about, never lingering in one place too long- though the refreshment table was very tempting. A few other students gave her strange looks, probably due to her choice of attire, but Alana ignored them. They could judge if they wanted.

Later in the evening, she happened to walk out into the hall, hoping to get away from the music and clamour of voices. There, she stumbled upon Hera McCarthy, a girl she only vaguely knew from her Computer Science class. Hera was leaning against the wall, and seemed to be upset about something.

Alana moved to stand by her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey. What’s up? You seem upset.”

“I d-don’t want to talk about it,” Hera forced out, not wanting to speak at all.

“You sure? There’s no reason anyone should be this miserable when they look as nice as you do.”

“I clearly don’t look that nice, my boyfriend dumped me five minutes ago,” Hera said reluctantly, staring at the ground.

Alana’s eyes widened. “Really? I’m so sorry! I can’t believe anyone would do something like that, especially at a dance!”

“He said my stutter is annoying. A-and that I sound stupid.”

Alana gasped, putting an arm around Hera’s shoulders. “That’s not true at all. You have a lovely voice. I used to have a stutter once myself, you know.”

Hera looked up at Alana for the first time.“...thank you. How did you deal with everyone always saying things and c-commenting?”

“I hated it,” Alana admitted. “I was teased all the time for something I couldn’t even control. The worst part was, I couldn’t even tell them I was hurt or they’d start laughing at the way I sounded. Yours isn’t as bad as mine was, once upon a time, but it’s wrong of them to bully you about it, especially if they’re your boyfriend.”

Hera nodded. “And my best friend- Doug Eiffel- he got into this fight with Adam over it, and they both got hurt, and I wasn’t e-even there, I couldn’t _do anything.”_

“That’s awful! I’m so sorry. Wait, so your friend got in a fight with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend dumped you afterwards? That completely sucks!”

“Yeah, and I had a fight with Doug too, because I was upset that he hit Adam, and I...I just feel really alone now.”

“Is there anything I can do to help? No one deserves to feel alone,” Alana said gently.

Hera shook her head. “Not really. It was nice to talk. You’re in my comp sci class, right? You seem to be the only one there that actually cares about computers other than me…”

“Yeah, I am. I just love programming, though I get the feeling most of the other people in the class are just taking it for the credit.”

“True. P-people always try to partner with me because they think I’ll do all the work.”

“Same! It’s annoying, isn’t it? I wish they’d just do their own work.”

“Maybe next time we should partner, all of them will fail.” Hera cracked a smile.

“Oh, yes, we’ll totally show them. Nerds unite?” she said hesitantly, holding up a hand for a high five.

“N-nerds unite,” Hera affirmed, accepting the high five.

Alana grinned. “I’ll be right back.” she headed off down the hall, and turned a corner so she was out of Hera’s sight, then pulled out her phone and typed a quick text.

Alana: Just made a new friend who may be quite useful in our future plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we get to that wonderful Alana/Hera friendship(with a side of emotional manipulation, obvs). Next update is Sunday, assuming I manage to keep to my update schedule, so, pray for me


	9. The Perfect Alana Maxwell

Daniel: Hey 

Daniel: So I know you’re going to be an asshole about this but what you said last night was seriously shitty even for you

Daniel: I mean I know I keep fucking up but you’re taking this a bit far

Daniel: Maybe you don’t actually fucking care about me, and maybe I have stronger feelings for you than I’d like to admit, but even I’m getting sick of this

Daniel: I just hate you so much sometimes I swear you make my life so fucking difficult

Warren: You want to come over?

Daniel: Are you fucking kidding me

Daniel: If you think I am going to let you fuck me after what you said at the dance

Daniel: and I think you left your read receipts on again

Warren: It’s not my fault you can’t handle the truth.  You dragged me out on that dance floor.  I’m not sorry I didn’t kiss you.  I’m not sorry we won’t skip off into the sunset together or be prom kings.  I don’t care.  Stop trying to make me.  You say you don’t like being ordered around?  Neither do I.

Daniel: You will be sorry when I’m not there to be ordered around

Warren: You’ll never leave. Besides, I don’t need you.  You want me, not the other way around.

Daniel: I wouldn’t be so sure about that 

Daniel: And I think you want me more than you’re willing to let on

Warren: That’s the difference between us, Daniel.  I like fucking you.  I don’t need to. I’m not dependent, I don’t feel anything for you.

Daniel: Then why are you always so fucking desperate for me to come over

Daniel: Even if I wanted to I’m fucking grounded

Warren: I’m not desperate.  Unlike you, I can separate desire from desperacy.

Warren: Were you grounded the night of the dance?  If so, I don’t see the issue with sneaking out again.

Daniel: Because this time I don’t fucking feel like it

Warren: Wow, Daniel, you’re really taking this incompetence thing to a new level.  Failing in every area, even the bedroom.  Maybe it really is time I find a replacement for you.

Daniel: Thats not fucking true

Daniel: You bastard

Daniel: DON’T YOU FUCKING IGNORE ME

Daniel: Fine

Daniel: You win

Daniel: I hope you’re happy

Warren: I am.

***

Daniel trudged up the front steps to Warren’s house and rapped on the door.  He felt sick with himself for giving in to Warren’s desires, but had he really expected it to go any other way?

Warren answered the door briskly.  “Hi,” he greeted, practically bragging already.

“Hey,”  Daniel muttered.

“Come in already, don’t spend the next decade lingering on my porch,”  Warren chastised, knowing Daniel wouldn’t object.

Daniel moved into the house, beginning to take off his coat as Warren closed the door behind him.

“You want a drink?”  Warren offered, already walking towards his kitchen.

“Oh, it’s going to be one of those nights, is it?”  Daniel growled.

Warren smirked.  “I have no idea what you mean, I’m just being a good host.  So you don’t want wine?”

“I don’t particularly feel like getting drunk tonight,”  Daniel said, taking a seat at one of the counter barstools.  “If you’re so eager to be a good host, I guess I’ll just have water.  With ice.”

Warren shrugged.  “I guess I’ll skip it as well.  Takes less time anyway.”  He went to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of sparkling water and a bottle of kale juice.  He began pouring his juice first- a thick, green, disgusting looking liquid.

“So anyway, can we talk about the fact that I really fucking hate you?”  Daniel asked, trying not to look at Warren’s drink.

“But here you are, in my house, waiting for me to fuck you,”  Warren noted, unphased.  He put some ice in Daniel’s glass and poured him some water.

“And here you are, trying to be a good fucking host or whatever, very clearly not fucking me,”  Daniel shot back.

Warren took the stool next to Daniel’s before he answered.  “I like to see you riled up,” he said.

“Back to the fact that I hate you,”  Daniel said, taking a slow sip of his water.  “I’m not joking when I say I’m sick of the way you treat me like nothing.  I’m really fucking tired of it.”

“If you don’t want to be treated like nothing, be something.  It’s not my fault you’ve been screwing up at every possible opportunity.  This isn’t a love story, Daniel.  You don’t mean anything to me beyond power and sex.”

“Exactly, I make you feel powerful because you have the ability to push me around when nobody else would put up with it.  I let you use me, abuse me, hurt me.  No one else is going to let you do that to them.  I have to wonder what you’d do if I suddenly disappeared from your life.  Do you really think Alana would stick around if you started treating her like you treat me?  Or anyone else?”

“Well, I don’t really want to fuck Alana, so that’s out of the picture,”  Warren said before pausing to take a long sip of his drink.  “And if you don’t let me do what I do to you, then what use are you to me?  Without that, you’re replaceable.   You forget, not everyone stays because they _want_ me- I’m sure Alana detests me sometimes- They stay because they want power, or they’re scared of me.  I think in all your crack dreams about love, you’ve forgotten that you should be scared of me.”  Warren rested a hand on Daniel’s leg.

Daniel took another sip of water, trying to hide his expression of surprise and maintain his confident demeanor.  “Why should I be scared of you?  I’m here because in the end, I want to be here.  I could walk out the door right now, if I really wanted.  You have no power to keep me here.  I have the power to leave.  Shouldn’t that scare _you_?”

Warren leaned closer to Daniel, trailing his other hand across the boy’s cheek. “I do have the power to keep you here,” He whispered, moving in for a kiss Daniel couldn’t refuse.

***

Warren shook Daniel’s shoulders.  “Get out, my parents are home,” he hissed, rushing to put some pants on.

Daniel opened his eyes a bit.  “Are you fucking kidding me?  It’s 6 a.m.”  he muttered, closing his eyes again.  He rolled over, cursing Warren for making him sleep on the floor yet again.

Warren grabbed a button-up from a dresser and hurriedly put it on.  “I don’t care, they’re home early, and they can’t find you here.  Out.  The window,” he specified.  Daniel had made it up and down the tree outside his window before, although that had mostly been for Warren’s amusement.

“Your parents are cool with me,”  Daniel shifted himself into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning.  “They won’t mind.”

“They’ll mind if they find out I’m fucking you,”  Warren deadpanned.  

“They won’t find out.”  Daniel grabbed his pants off the floor and pulled them on.  “We can just say we were studying.”

Warren scoffed.  “Why would I study with you, I’m smarter than you.”  Warren heard the garage door close, meaning his parents would be inside any moment.

Daniel climbed to his feet.  “Fuck you.  Also, you left my shirt downstairs, is that going to be a problem?”

_“I_ left your shirt downstairs?”  Warren repeated incredulously.  “It’s your shirt, why didn’t you grab it?!”

“I mean, you’re the one who took it off,”  Daniel countered.  “Besides, I was a bit too occupied, as I’m sure you noticed!”

“It’s not my fault you’re so easily distracted.  Let’s go get the shirt, so my parents don’t find it,”  Warren said.

“Probably a good idea,”  Daniel agreed, following him to the door.

Warren dashed down the stairs, making a beeline for the kitchen.  

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is,”  Daniel said, skidding to a halt behind him.  “We’re guys, we sleep shirtless.  So what?”

“In my house, we don’t strip in the kitchen.  Besides, you’re covered in bruises,”  Warren gestured to the remains of their activities the previous night before reaching down and picking up Daniel’s shirt.

They heard a door close in the distance, and Warren’s mother walked in, wearing a business suit and dragging her suitcase behind her.  Warren’s father followed shortly behind in similarly formal attire, in the middle of a phone call.

“Oh, hello boys!  Rather early to be up on a weekend, isn’t it?” Warren’s mother asked, smiling at the two of them.

Warren had the sense to shove Daniel’s shirt on the barstool he was standing in front of.  “We woke up early to study, we have a comp sci test tomorrow,” he improvised.  “How was your trip?”

“Oh, it was just wonderful, but we missed you so much, darling.”  she set down her suitcase and held out her arms for a hug.

Warren went and hugged her, shooting Daniel a look that told him he’d regret it if he ever mentioned the event again.  “I missed you too, Mother,”  he told her.

Daniel repressed a smile, amused by the hidden, angelic side of Warren.

“So, you were studying?  Just the two of you?  What about that Alana?  Alana Maxwell, isn’t it?  She’s such a smart girl, you two would be so wonderful together.”

Warren struggled to keep the smile on his face.  “Oh, she was busy this weekend, so she couldn’t make it.  Real shame.”  

_Yes, the perfect Alana Maxwell,_ Daniel thought, jealous, though he’d never admit it.

Warren’s mom smiled at Daniel.

“And how are you, Daniel?”

“Just fine, thank you.”  Daniel replied, forcing a smile.

“That’s wonderful, dear.  Well, good luck studying, you two!”  she picked up her suitcase again and headed upstairs.

“Thank you, Mother!”  Warren called after her.  They were doing fine so far, despite the fact that Daniel was shirtless and covered in hickeys.

Warren’s father finished his business call and immediately smiled as he hung up.  “Hey son, how was your weekend?”

“It was great, I started my essay for MIT,”  Warren selected, knowing the school would please his father.

“Oh, that was my alma mater!”  Warren’s father said both gleefully and predictably.

“I know, you chose well,”  Warren flattered, hoping it would be enough to distract his father from Daniel’s appearance.

“And Daniel, how have you been?”  Warren’s father did a double take as he noticed Daniel’s situation.  “What happened to you?”  he asked, concerned.

“I was attacked by a duck,”  Daniel said, just as Warren provided his own explanation.

“He got stung by bees.”  

“Excuse me?”  Warren’s father asked, having missed all of their words.  “You know, I can’t understand you two when you talk at the same time.  I was at this business meeting the other week and these European men kept shouting at each other, it was a nightmare.  So, what happened to you, Daniel?”  

As his father rambled, Warren shot Daniel a knowing look.  In unison, they both said, “Bee stings.”

***

Alana: Hey, Hera, how are you?  Just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Hera: I’m fine.  Still a bit disappointed but I appreciate the sympathy.

Alana: I understand why you feel this way, Doug was wrong to treat you like that. You deserve so much better.

Hera: You think so?  I feel a bit guilty for blowing him off like that.  He is my friend after all.

Alana: Is he really your friend after what happened?  He was acting irrationally and his actions hurt you.

Hera: He meant well.  

Alana: But he didn’t do well.

Alana: Actions speak louder than words.  You have every right to be angry.

Hera: But he’s such a sweet guy normally, and he was on my side.

Alana: Sweet guys don’t punch people.

Hera: He was defending me.  And Adam broke up with me right afterwards.

Hera: It was wrong of Doug to get in a fight, but maybe Adam was really the one in the wrong here.  I just feel like I should apologize to Doug before this ruins our friendship.

Alana: If you ask me, Doug was just making an excuse to fight Adam, because he likes you and was jealous that you went to the dance with Adam.  I don’t think he deserves you.

Hera: Really?

Hera: I don’t think Doug is like that.

Alana: It seems like he is.  I listen to the announcements everyday, he’s always cutting you off and interrupting you.  He’s just looking for attention, regardless of who it hurts.  He has no respect for anyone but himself.  Most importantly, he has no respect for you.  Someone like him doesn’t deserve to be friends with someone like you.

Hera: Maybe you’re right

Hera: I just don’t think Doug is that kind of person.

Hera: I mean, we’ve been friends for years.  I know him better than anyone.

Alana: Then you know that what I’m saying is true.  I would never force any kind of decision on you.  You’re smart, you can make your own choices.  But you seem like a really good person and I don’t like seeing you hurting.  Don’t rush into anything, think it through.  But whatever happens, you’ll have me.

Alana: I’m hanging out with Daniel later today, you can join us if you’d like.  I know Renée probably says things about him, but he’s cool when you get to know him (don’t ever tell him I said that.)

Hera: That sounds nice

Hera: Sure!

Alana: Great!  I’ll send you my address, we’re meeting at 5.  Can’t wait to see you!

Hera:  You too!

***

“Hey, Hera,”  Doug sat down next to her in his usual spot.  He was sporting a black eye.  “I’m really sorry about what I did at the dance, I know it was wrong and I really- I hate that I hurt you.  I heard about Adam, I’m sorry.”

“It’s… fine.”  Hera said slowly, not looking at him.

“Are you sure?”  Doug wasn’t oblivious to her frigid tone or closed off body language.  She still seemed hurt.  “You can talk to me if you need me.”

“Sure.”  They had no more time to talk, as the announcements needed to start running.  “Hello everyone, happy Monday!  First off, only one more w-week before winter b-break!  We’re almost there!”  

“Yes, so, teachers, be ready to up your homework and assign several life threatening exams because it’s not like students want to actually enjoy themselves over the holidays or anything!” Doug commented, ignoring the script in front of him, as always.

Hera said nothing, waiting in silence.  When Doug only looked at her expectantly, she pushed the script towards him and pointed to his line, giving him a cold stare.

Doug frowned, surprised.  “Uh...Student President Warren Kepler- gross- would like to remind the council that there is a meeting this afternoon in Room 214.  He kindly requests that everyone shows up and stays for the _entirety_ of the meeting.”

“And that’s all for today!  Have a wonderful Monday and a fantastic winter break!”  Hera pushed her chair back.

“Uh, stay stellar?!”  Doug added quickly, feeling rather alarmed.

The announcements ended, Hera stood, picked up her backpack, and headed for the door, without so much as looking at Doug.

“Hera!”  Doug called after her, not even bothering to grab his backpack as he he went to follow her.  “Come on, you said you were fine.”

Hera said nothing.

“I feel really bad about what I did, but I mean, you can’t be mad at me forever.  Let me make it up to you,”  Doug pleaded.

“Look,”  Hera snapped, whirling on him suddenly.  “What you did was out of line.  I don’t care if you say you were defending me, I expect better of you than to beat someone up because you’re jealous!”

With that, she hurried out of the room, disappearing into the crowded hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *quietly mourns the Hera/Doug relationship while continuing to tear them apart*


	10. The Hickey Scarf

Daniel stared at his computer screen blankly.  Class was quickly coming to a close and he still had no lie to get out of the student council meeting.  If Warren found out he was missing the meeting for detention, he’d skin him alive.  Daniel contemplated whether he could just ditch their class at the end and go straight to detention without a word, or whether he should attempt to make an excuse.  Deception seemed unwise though, and Daniel couldn’t help but remember Warren’s threat from the broom closet that one morning.  He couldn’t.  He would have to stay silent, and slip out of class as fast as possible.  He logged out a minute or two early, earning him a disapproving side-eye from their teacher.  When the bell rang, he bolted from his seat without a word to anyone.

Warren watched him leave, slinging his own backpack over his shoulder and following the crowd of students out the door.

“Daniel!”  he called down the hall.  “Student council meeting is this way!  You haven’t forgotten, have you?”

“Shit,” Daniel muttered, then froze when he realized he’d spoken out loud.  “I have to make up a test,” he improvised.

“Why didn’t you tell me?  These student council meetings are very important,”  Warren scolded.

“I told you Saturday night,”  Daniel lied, uncharacteristically smooth, likely because he felt his life depended on it.  “Maybe you weren’t listening because you were  _ distracted.” _

“Oh, is that so?  Hm.  Well then, finish quickly so you can join the meeting.”

“Uh, it’s a long test, real bad one, very heavy grading, extra credit section and everything, I can’t be late, might not make it to student council, bye!”  Daniel stuttered through his excuses, then rushed off so Warren couldn’t call him out on it.

“Alana, meet me in the council meeting room.  I’ll be along in a little while.”

He followed in the direction Daniel had gone down the hall, keeping at a distance so he wouldn’t be seen.  He watched Daniel enter a classroom, and moved to stand by the door, peering inside.

Daniel was sitting at a desk, but there was no test in sight.  In fact, he was just now handing his phone to a teacher and leaning back to stare at the ceiling.

He wasn’t making up a test, Warren realized.  He was in detention.

What had he said to Daniel about lying to him?  Hadn’t he warned him there would be consequences?  And yet here Daniel was, having lied to him once again.  Warren felt fury rise in his chest.  Daniel was slipping from his control.  He was beginning to fight back.  Warren was determined to make him stay, whatever the cost.

Warren stood by the door, just within Daniel’s sight line, and watched him, waiting for Daniel to sit up and look around and notice him.

It took a minute or so, but finally, Daniel’s drifting eyes landed on Warren standing in the doorway.  His face went white as a sheet.  Warren took a step back, out of sight.  Daniel had gotten the message.

A moment later, Daniel appeared outside, still looking like he’d seen a ghost.

“You lied to me.”  Warren said simply.

Daniel took a deep breath.“Can you blame me?  Warren Kepler’s VP getting a detention?  Imagine the damage to your pristine reputation.  And your ego.”

“Yes, I  _ can _ blame you.  What did you do to land yourself in detention?  On the day of  _ my _ student council meeting?”  Warren growled, his hands balling into fists.

“Doesn’t matter,” Daniel answered.  “You’re always telling me you don’t need me, yet here you are, saying you need me at the meeting today.  You’re sending some serious mixed signals,” he ranted, attempting to draw Warren’s attention away from the reason he had detention.

Warren rounded on Daniel, pressing him back against the wall.

“I need you to behave,”  he said softly, gritting his teeth.  “I need you to do your job correctly.  Lately, you’ve proven yourself incapable of doing anything outside of the bedroom, and I can always find that  _ service _ somewhere else.  If you’re not going to do what I need you to do, I don’t need you at all.”

“Oh really?  Where will you find someone as good as me?”  Daniel forced a smirk onto his lips, not resisting how close Warren was to demonstrate his point.

Warren smirked right back, leaning in even closer.  “I’ve had my eye on Doug Eiffel recently.  He’s stupid, but competent.  Unlike you.”

Daniel’s face immediately betrayed his hurt and disgust.  “You’d never.  You hate Doug Eiffel, he’s a dumbass, and he killed our last vote with that plant fiasco.”  Daniel’s face returned to its previous smugness as he desperately tried to suppress his jealousy.  “Admit it, I’m the only one you want.  I could get as many detentions as I like, and you’d still fuck me.”

“Perhaps I felt that way in the past, but I’m not so sure that’s still the case,”  Warren said, still grinning infuriatingly.  “If you’ve outlived your usefulness, there’s no need to keep you around.  I might as well find someone else to take your place, and Doug Eiffel is looking like a very likely candidate.”  He could sense the jealousy, though Daniel tried to hide it.  It was so pathetic, how much Daniel always wanted Warren, how Daniel thought he was the only one with the right to Warren’s stone cold heart.

Daniel glared.  “Go fuck yourself.  I have to get back, I’m in detention, remember?”

“Right, you never told me how that happened.  Explain yourself.”

“Warren, I have to go.  I don’t have time.”  He made an attempt to shove Warren away from him.

Warren held his position, forcing Daniel back against the wall with an arm against his chest.

“Yes, you do.  Tell me how you got detention.”

Daniel scowled.  “I broke into a room,” he said, not lying, but not telling the whole truth either.  “Now get off of me.”

Warren was not content with this.  “Why?”  he asked, pressing Daniel harder against the wall.

Daniel bit his lip.  “Because I felt like it.”

“Are you telling me you’re that much of an idiot because I don’t believe it.  You’re incompetent, you’re not stupid.”

Daniel muttered something unintelligible, but very petty from the tone.

“What did you say?”  Warren growled.

“I was trying to catch the fucking plant monster,”  Daniel snapped loudly.

Warren’s lips curved into a smile.  He leaned back, releasing the pressure on Daniel, and laughed aloud.  “Is that what’s going on?  You were trying to catch the plant monster- why, because you wanted to impress me?  Because you wanted to make things right, to fix your past errors?  Well, that’s just perfect, isn’t it?  In trying to reconcile your wrongdoings, you’ve only dug yourself deeper.”  His gaze bore into Daniel’s and he was still grinning like a madman.  “You’d better get yourself back to detention, Daniel.  And try like hell not to fuck up again.”

Daniel didn’t bother to respond.  He stormed back into the classroom, trying to get the chilling memory of Warren’s laugh out of his head.  

He couldn’t.

 

***

 

“Ca-caw!” Doug called dramatically to Renee, who was sitting right next to him.

Renee looked up at him from her notes, unamused.  “For the last time, the signal isn’t necessary when we’re near each other.  It worked last year because we were far away.”

“Ca-caw!”  Doug repeated, right in Renee’s face.

“Get to the point, Doug,”  Renee commanded.

“Hera hates me.”  Doug said.  “Help.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you,”

“She hates me.”

“She’s in a rough place right now, she just got dumped.  She’ll come around.”

“No, she literally hates me.  And all because I was defending her from her evil boyfriend!”

“Adam Ingles is not evil just because he plays football and dated the girl you like.”

“He was making fun of her stutter!”

Renee’s demeanor instantly changed.  “Okay, I’m going to murder him.  Do you have his address?  When’s the next football practice?”

“See?”  Doug said, maybe a bit louder than intended.  “Can you really blame me for punching him?”

“Yes, you should’ve done so much more!”  Renee said, still plotting murder.  She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.  “Look, I want to protect Hera just as much as you do, but you should’ve let her handle her boyfriend problems on her own.”

“No way!  He just dumped her afterwards, which only goes to show he’s a jerk who doesn’t deserve her!”  

“Of course he is, but why do you think  _ you _ deserve her?  Maybe she’s mad because she feels like you only care about her in relation to you wanting her.”

“I was protecting her!  I’d do anything for her, and I just…”  he trailed off, a stab of pain shooting through him as he remembered how cold she’d been to him that morning.  “I don’t get it.”

“Look, imagine...imagine if I was having an argument with Warren, and I had this really good plan to take him off his high horse and into weird student politics hell.”

Doug frowned, confused.  “Go on…”

“But Dominic showed up, and he decides to punch Warren in the face, which screws up my plan.  Because he wants to protect me.  You see how that could be frustrating, right?”

“I can see how that would be awesome,”  Doug said slowly.  “I mean come on, who doesn’t want to punch Warren Kepler in the face?  He’s such an asshole…”

“Yes, but it’s my right to punch him first!  Because it’s my problem, and Dominic, as someone who cares about me, should respect that I’m strong enough to solve my own problems.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Dominic  _ punched Warren in the face?” _

“This is a hypothetical, Doug!”  Renee chided.  “Do you think Hera is stupid?”

“Of course not!  And that’s why I don’t understand why she’s holding this against me!”

“But the way you treated her made her feel like you think she’s stupid, like you don’t trust her enough to solve her own problems.”

“I  _ do _ trust her.  But she wasn’t there at the moment, I couldn’t just walk away knowing what Adam said about her!  Why are you taking her side on this?”  Doug exclaimed in distress.

“I’m not taking her side, Doug, I’m just trying to help you understand why she’s upset.  Why did you apologize to her if you didn’t mean it?”

“I  _ did _ mean it!  Honestly, we’ve been friends for years and this one thing turns her against me?”

“She won’t be mad forever.  You just have to make it up to her.  Get her a good Christmas gift.”

“Like what?  C’mon, Renee, I suck at gift giving.  What would she want?  What kind of gift would make it up to her?”

“A really good, personal one?”  Renee suggested.  “Just don’t get her something dumb and gimmicky like you always do for everyone else.  Make it special.”

“Ugh…”  Doug put his head down on his desk.  A moment later, he perked up, glancing sideways at Renee and grinning.  “I have the perfect idea.”

 

***

 

Doug glanced up quickly at the teacher, then slipped his phone from his pocket beneath his desk, blatantly ignoring the worksheet of Spanish verbs he was supposed to be conjugating.  

Suddenly, Daniel sat down at the desk across from him, having been removed from his previous seat.

Doug’s head snapped up instinctively, his expression of surprise soon morphing into distaste.  “Oh.  You.  What the hell are you doing here?”

“Someone wanted to sit with their friends at my table.  I moved out of the kindness of my heart,”  Daniel explained wryly, already annoyed.

Doug scanned the classroom, nodding towards an empty seat across the room.  “There’s a spot over there.  Leave me alone.”

Daniel shook his head.  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you.  Clear up some  _ misconceptions.” _

“Like…?”  Doug trailed off, confused once again.

“You winked at me at the student council meeting.  Are you gay?”  Daniel asked, anxious for the answer.  He had to know if Warren’s stupid teasing was actually a possibility.

Doug raised an eyebrow, a slight smirk creeping onto his lips.  “Are you interested?”

Daniel scoffed.  “In you?  Please, I’m crazy, but I’m not that crazy.  So you’re gay?”

Doug shrugged.  “I’ll go either way.  And I do like crazy.” 

“Fuuuuck,”  Daniel groaned.  “What are the damn chances, the  one other gay guy in this school?”  he asked, more to himself than to Doug.

“Excuse me?”  Doug asked.  “Something wrong?”

“Do you have any positive qualities?  Like at all?  Are you good in bed?”  Daniel interrogated, growing irritated.

“I don’t know.”  Doug leaned forward across the desk, smirking.  “Wanna find out?”

“No, Warren does,”  Daniel muttered sadly.  He glanced at the watch Warren had given him for his last birthday.  Time was running out until Warren was done with him, and all he’d have left was some bruises and a ridiculously expensive watch.

“I’m also handsome, extremely charming, smooth, clever, funny, intell- hold up, what did you say?”

“Nothing, and if you’re as clever and charming as you claim you are, you won’t question it.”

“I don’t need to question anything.”  Doug smiled his most charming smile.

“Oh my fucking god, you’re not even that attractive, you are the most annoying person in this room, in this hemisphere!”  Daniel spat out.  “This is so fucking stupid.”

“Has anyone ever told you how sexy you are when you’re mad?”  Doug asked.

Daniel gave him a glare with some legitimate murderous intent.  “Yes,” he hissed.  “Someone has.”

“Who, Warren Kepler?  Nice.”

“Shut the fuck up!”  Daniel looked around, paranoid somebody had heard, but nobody was paying their exchange any attention.  “I’m not...Warren isn’t...you don’t know what you’re talking about.”  He adjusted his scarf nervously.

“Mmmmhmmm.  And that horribly ugly scarf is a fashion statement.”

Daniel’s hands froze for a second before he placed them on the table.  “I’m cold.  It’s winter.    I wear a scarf.  What else would it be?  Look, there’s nothing, it’s nothing, I’m nothing.  Why do you even care?”

“I dare you to take it off,”  Doug nodded towards the scarf. 

Panic shot through Daniel.  “I-I don’t want to, I’m cold.”

“Just for a second.  Come on, you’ll be fine.  We’re  _ inside _ for crying out loud!”

Daniel shook his head.  “I’m doing my worksheet.”  He picked up his pencil and wrote his name on his Spanish worksheet.

“Well, that answers that question,”  Doug hummed.  “The hickey scarf it is.  Hey, let me know if you ever find yourself… available.”  he winked, admiring how Daniel couldn’t help but watch him out of the corner of his eye.

Daniel tried not to look shocked when Doug winked at him.  Did he not get that he was having sex with Warren?  He clearly got it.  Alana was right, he needed a new scarf.  If Warren really did leave him, he’d need a new boyfriend.  “I would rather put a bullet in your head,”  he responded.

 

***

 

Daniel tucked his finished worksheet away before picking up his backpack, a large workbook in his hands as he started to leave.  Most of the class exited before him, but he took his sweet time.  He was in no rush to meet up with Warren before computer science.

Doug brushed past him, tugging gently at the end of Daniel’s scarf as he went.

Daniel yelped in surprise, hands flying up protectively to his scarf, his workbook dropping out of his hands and hitting the ground with a thud.

“Oh!  Sorry about that,”  Doug laughed awkwardly, leaning down to pick up Daniel’s dropped book.  

Warren happened to be walking by.  His gaze met Daniel’s for a moment, then swept deliberately to Doug’s ass.  

Doug straightened and handed Daniel’s book back to him, oblivious to Warren’s presence behind him. 

Daniel gritted his teeth, clutching the book tightly to his chest.  “Thanks,” he told Doug, but his eyes fixed on Warren’s.  If Daniel was honest with himself, he shouldn’t have paid it any attention.  Warren had only looked to get a rise out of him in the first place.  But that didn’t help the extreme amount of jealousy and hatred clearly displayed on his face.

“No problem.”  

“Hello, Doug.  How’s your day going?”

Doug turned, noticing Warren for the first time.  “Ah, it’s been good.  Uh, bye.”  he hurried off, leaving Warren and Daniel behind.

“You know,”  Warren said, amused by the annoyance on Daniel’s face.  “He’s got a great ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you look to the left, you'll see everyone flirting with Doug Eiffel. Next update on Sunday!


	11. DUCK YOU

DANIEL IS SCARED OF DUCKS

 

Alana: Hi Hera!  Since we’re friends now, I thought I’d add you to our group chat.  The 325 number is Warren and the 344 is Daniel.

Alana: The group chat name is true btw 

Hera: Hello everyone!

Hera:  Really?  Daniel is afraid of ducks?

Alana: Yes, it’s so funny.  He saw some ducks at school once, all these adorable fluffy babies in a line, and he screamed!

Hera: That’s really funny.

Warren: Do you even understand the magnitude of what I want to do to you?  When you get over here, I’m going to fuck the shit out of you.  I’m going to take you to my bed and bruise every damn part of you and you’re going to scream and moan and like it.

Hera: ?????

Alana: Oh my god.  Oh my god.  I’m so sorry, Hera.

Daniel: WARREN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Daniel: btw I’m not scared of fucks

Daniel: *FUCKS!

Daniel: *DICKS

Daniel: I’M NOT SCARED OF DUCKS

Daniel: JFC AUTOCORRECT CALM THE DUCK DOWN

Alana: Clearly you aren’t scared of dicks, Daniel.

Warren: So, Hera, welcome to the chat!  Did I ever tell you about the story of the time my family’s ski trip in Sweden went awry and I had to single-handedly fight off a bear?

Hera: Um… no?

Daniel: WARREN WHAT IS DUCKING WRONG WITH YOU YOU DUCK

Daniel: FUCKING AUTOCORRECT

Warren: So, it all began when I decided that I wanted some hot chocolate.  I take a break from my magnificent skiing (black diamond slope, of course) and journey off to the lodge.  There, I met a man.  He was holding a compass and seemed distressed.  He approached me with a quest in his eyes.(Part 1/23)

Daniel: WARREN

Daniel: THE FUCK

Daniel: IS WRONG

Daniel: WITH YOU

Daniel: YOU DUCK

Daniel: *DICK

Hera: Oh.  That’s intriguing.

Alana: Daniel, your incapability to type is making this a lot worse than it is.  Especially because you would’ve been on the receiving end of that message regardless.

Warren: Obviously, I couldn’t resist the urge to help a man in need, so when he told me that his eldest daughter and pet capybara had been lost in a snowstorm the previous night, I felt it was my absolute moral duty to go after them.  I got a map and some marshmallows for the journey.  And I traveled to the woods where his daughter and her animal companion had last been seen.  Little did I know, I’d just begun what would be one of the most dangerous nights of my life.(Part 2/23)

Daniel: WOW OK YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME ARE YOU

Daniel: YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SKI TRIPS AND CAPYBARAS

Daniel: DUCK YOU

Daniel: *FUCK 

Daniel: I SWEAR

Alana: I have to go, my mom is calling me.  Bye Hera, enjoy parts 3 through 23!

Alana: And Daniel please try to at least ACT like a normal person.

 

With that, Alana put her phone on do not disturb and resumed her activity of doing absolutely nothing.  A few hours later, she checked back, and the group ‘discussion’ seemed to have fizzled out.  The last text had been hours ago.  It read:  ‘Long story short, that’s why I always carry the sole of a snow boot and a capybara foot with me. (Part 23/23)’

 

***

 

“I’m sorry about what Warren sent yesterday, by the way.  He isn’t usually...like that.”  Alana cringed, remembering the conversation.

“Right… d-don’t worry about it.”  Hera said, biting her lip.  She didn’t really want to think about the message Warren had mistakenly sent the previous day.

“So, where do you want to go next?  There’s a cool music store at the other end of the mall,”  Alana changed the topic.  She did not want to be held responsible for Warren’s decisions.

“Maybe… I like to look around in the p-pet store sometimes.  All the animals are just so c-cute!”  Hera said.

Alana forced a smile.  “Oh. Animals...animals are cool.  But, I heard the pet store in this mall closed down, so...we might not be able to do that.”

“Oh, really?”  Hera’s face fell.  “I didn’t know that.  Could we at l-least check?  The music store is down that way t-too.”

Alana winced.  “I suppose it couldn’t hurt.”

“G-great!”  Hera began heading in the direction of the pet store, hoping it hadn’t been closed down as Alana said.  Fortunately, Alana was wrong.

“Oh, it’s open...great.”  Alana tried to muster up some nonexistent enthusiasm.

“Awww!  Look at the puppies!”  Hera ran inside, Alana trailing behind her.

“I see them.  They’re…”  Alana tried to think of an adjective to describe puppies.  Monstrous?  Weird?  Unpleasant?  “Cool.”

“Aren’t th-they adorable?”  Hera cooed, scooping one up into her arms.

“Sure, yes, definitely.”  Alana took a small step away from Hera and more importantly, the creature in her hands.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hera noticed Alana’s hesitation and set the puppy down.  “Do you not like d-dogs?”  she asked.  “That’s okay, I’m m-more of a cat person myself.”  She crossed to a litter of kittens and picked up a small grey one.  “Awwww, she’s so cute!”

“I...animals and I don’t really get along,”  Alana admitted.

“Oh, really?  That’s too bad.  Are y-you sure you don’t want to try holding her?”  she held the kitten out towards Alana.  The kitten mewled softly.

“I don’t know, cats hate me.”  Alana sounded a little sad about the fact.

“That’s not true!  Isn’t it, little b-buddy?”  Hera cuddled the grey kitten, who purred contentedly.

“I guess I could try?”  Alana said reluctantly.  If it got Hera on her side, it was worth it.

Hera handed the kitten to Alana.  It curled up in her arms and yawned.  “Awww, see?”  Hera sighed.  “I’ve always wanted to get a cat but… I don’t know.  I’m afraid I wouldn’t have time to take care of it.”

“I’m sure you could handle it.”  Alana nervously stared at the cat in her hands.  She kept expecting it to scratch her or something.

“You think?”  Hera watched the kitten.  “Maybe… d-do you think I should?  Adopt it, I m-mean?”

“This one?  Like, right now?  Would your parents be okay with that?”

“Probably.  They’re p-pretty relaxed about that k-kind of thing.  So you think I should get her?”

“I mean...she’s nice. She likes me,”  Alana said slowly.

“I t-told you cats don’t hate you.  Oh, I think I’ll get her.  What should I name her?”  Hera lifted the kitten from Alana’s arms, staring into its wide eyes.

“Gray...cat.  Gray cat.  Cat for short.”

“Hmmm… maybe…”  Hera thought for a moment.  “What about… M-mouse?”

Alana perked up.  “Like the computer accessory?”  

“Yes!  Or like the animal, because she’s sort of like a little g-grey mouse.  What do you think, kitty?”  The kitten meowed, and Hera grinned.  “Mouse it is.  You’re c-coming home with me!”

 

***

 

Warren: Hey, do you want to come over?  Making dinner.

Daniel: NO

Daniel: Why the fuck should I care about your fucking dinner

Warren: I’m making dinner for /us/.

Daniel: We just fucked last night

Daniel: I’m not an idiot

Daniel: Can you even cook?

Warren: Of course I can.

Warren: You’re always saying you want to be more romantic.  Are dinner dates not romantic?

Daniel: Are you telling me you don’t want to fuck me afterwards

Daniel: Seriously

Warren: I only want to spend time with you, Daniel.

Warren: Not that I’d refuse if you were offering.

Daniel: I’m not

Daniel: I have a hard time believing you have any interest in quality time together

Daniel: Weren’t you the one who had to remind me you don’t give a shit about me

Warren: Fine, stay home then, hang with your father.  Sorry for trying to be what you want.

Daniel: I’m all for being a real couple, I just didn’t think you wanted that

Daniel: You’re sending very mixed messages

Warren: I didn’t.  Maybe I changed my mind.

Warren: I’m making spaghetti.  Please?

Daniel: You really mean it?

Daniel: Fine, I’m coming

Daniel: Don’t try anything funny

Warren: I can’t wait.

 

***

 

Warren gathered his supplies with relative ease and confidence.  How hard could cooking be?  He’d seen people do it from the distance and it didn’t look at all difficult.  Unfortunately, the rest of the process did not go as smoothly.  He put in too much water; it boiled over.  He fucked up the sauce; it exploded and left him looking like he’d committed a bloody murder with his own two hands. 

So when he heard Daniel’s distinctive knocking pattern, he experienced something he hadn’t in awhile: pure panic.  

“I’ll be a minute!”  He called, trying to sound calm as he frantically washed the sauce off of his hands and dashed to the door without drying them.  Before opening the door, it caught his attention that his collared shirt had sauce on it.  Maybe Daniel would find the mess charming.

“What happened to your shirt?”  Daniel asked, stepping inside.  “Did you murder someone?”

“I...cooking is an art, art is messy,”  Warren tried to cover for his inadequacies.  “It’s sauce,” he sighed. “You know where the dining room is, so...make yourself comfortable, I’ll be done in a minute.”

“I think I might wait in the kitchen, actually.”  Daniel said casually.  “Less awkward than waiting in there by myself.”

Warren made a face.  Daniel could not be allowed to see the horrific state of the kitchen, much less the state of the food.  “I’d really prefer if you didn’t, you know.  I want the meal to be a surprise.”

Daniel raised an eyebrow.  “You already told me you were making spaghetti.  What are you hiding?”

“I’d never hide anything from you,”  Warren claimed melodramatically before going to kiss Daniel.  Anything to distract him from the current nightmare.

Daniel pulled away, charmed, but not at all fooled.  He made a beeline for the kitchen.  “I don’t know what you’re hiding, but you’re doing a fucking awful job of it.”

He reached the doorway to the kitchen and stopped short.  The floor was covered in a layer of water, and there was something red dripping from the walls and ceiling- the same red, in fact, that Warren seemed to have spattered on his shirt.  Daniel clapped a hand over his mouth, half horrified, half amused.

Warren reached the kitchen a few seconds after Daniel and it was unfortunately too late to shield the other boy’s eyes.  “...Cooking is a delicate process,” he explained quietly.  “I have this all very under control.”

“Under control?”  Daniel exclaimed, still taking in the disastrous scene.  “I thought you said you knew how to cook!  Instead it literally looks like you brutally murdered someone!”

Warren scoffed.  “Brutally murdering someone would’ve been easier,” he commented bitterly.  “I may have  _ overstated _ my cooking abilities.  But the actual spaghetti is fine!”  He gestured to some obviously overcooked noodles.  They looked incredibly soggy and not in the least bit appetizing.

“It’s barely edible,”  Daniel remarked.  “Wow, I never thought there’d be something you aren’t good at, and yet, here we are.”

Warren felt his cheeks burning.  “But it is slightly edible,” he said.  “I argue that considering it’s my first time, this is a relatively good result.”

Daniel turned to Warren, noticing his very obvious blush, and felt his heart flutter.  This was a side of Warren he’d never seen before and he could not complain.

“How about we just order pizza?”

Warren looked around at the complete mess of the kitchen, then at the failed spaghetti, which he definitely did not want anywhere near his relatively healthy body.  “Pizza, yes, pizza is good.  Get pineapple.”

“Pineapple?”  Daniel wrinkled up his nose.  “Over my dead body.”

 

***

 

Warren glanced over at Daniel as he took a second slice of pizza out of the box.  They’d managed to compromise on the pineapple situation by getting half with, half without.  Warren’s half also lacked cheese, which Daniel described as a ‘great offense.’  There was a TV in the room, but neither of them were paying any attention.  They simply sat on opposite sides on the couch, in complete, awkward silence.  Warren knew he should do  _ something. _  Although he had no idea what.  He noticed Daniel’s left hand, lying idly on the couch.  He opportunistically placed his hand gently on top of Daniel’s.

Daniel looked over, surprised by the movement. “Did you want something?”  he asked.  “Try using words,” he patronized.

Warren frowned, not expecting for the attitude.  Isn’t this what Daniel had wanted in the first place?  Of course Warren didn’t intend to completely give in, only enough to keep Daniel on his leash, but he hadn’t expected the resistance.  “So it’s okay if I fuck you, but I can’t hold your hand?” he asked, immeasurably more comfortable sparring with words than navigating the strange, romanceless silence.

“It was unexpected.  You can’t blame me, considering the only reason you’ve ever wanted to be around me before is to fuck me.”  he shifted closer, lacing his fingers in Warren’s and narrowing his eyes.  “This is another one of your tricks, isn’t it?  Any minute now, you’ll remind me of my place.  I know your games, Warren.”

Warren bit at his pizza, trying to think.  Daniel was on to him and he needed to end it.  “The only place I want you is beside me,” he said, his mind carefully dancing between control and affection.  “I realized I didn’t want to hurt you anymore,” he said, lighter this time.  It wasn’t true. He liked watching Daniel suffer because of him, whether it was the way he’d throw himself into any terrible situation out of love or the flicker of hope in his eyes whenever he was called a sweet pet name.  He didn’t intend for it to end anytime soon.

Daniel didn’t want to believe him.  The Warren he knew would never apologize, would never change his ways.  But then, what was this date, but the Warren he never saw?  Was it possible that things were really changing?  And for the better?

Daniel set down his pizza, moving closer to Warren and leaning his head on the boy’s shoulder.

“I love you more this way,”  he breathed.

Warren set down the remainder of his pizza, so he could wrap an arm around Daniel, pulling him closer.  “I’m sorry for what I said to you at the dance...what I did to you.”  He didn’t make eye contact with Daniel, feigning shame, but reallyjust hiding any signs of his lie.  “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you.”  

Daniel had never realized how comfortable Warren could be, when his touch was gentle and his voice was soft.  “Are you sorry though?  You enjoyed hurting me, every minute of it.  You meant every word you said.  Even if you change now, that never goes away, you realize that, right?”

“Just because I liked it doesn’t mean I’m proud of it,” he muttered.  He looked up at Daniel.  He was so close, it felt intimate in an unfamiliar way.  “Wasn’t there a part of you that liked being hurt by me?  I can’t control what I  _ like. _  I can’t control the fact that I like hurting you or the fact that I feel like a fucking monster afterwards.  I don’t want this.  I don’t want this,” he repeated more forcefully, as if trying to convince himself.  He forced a shaky breath.  “I am sorry, Daniel.”

“Maybe I liked it, but it wasn’t the same as… as this.”  Daniel sighed deeply.  “I’d like to have more of this.”

“I would too,”  Warren whispered.  “Will you let me have more of this?  I would understand if you hated me.  I know you can’t forgive me, I can’t even forgive me.” He looked away again.  “I’m too far gone,” he said, vaguely.

Daniel was quiet for a minute before answering.  “If this is what we both want, I don’t see why we shouldn’t have it.  And you’re right, I’m not sure I can forgive you.  But maybe we can make the future better.  We can do this properly.”

Warren waited a moment, then asked, “Can I kiss you?”  He had never asked Daniel permission to do anything before.  He always took what he wanted.  He didn’t like this new sensation, the way he had to search for an answer in Daniel’s eyes, the miniscule fear that he had played this wrong and he’d be refused, the way his heart was beating just a little faster than usual.

Daniel sat up, keeping their gazes locked.  Without hesitation, he cupped Warren’s cheek in his hand, leaned forward, and kissed him.

Warren didn’t move for a second, but then he sunk into the kiss.  He moved his hand from its place on Daniel’s shoulder to his neck.  His other hand found its way to Daniel’s hip.  He moved slowly at first, but then became fast and greedy.  He wanted more.  

Daniel rested his hands over Warren’s, a gentle reminder that this wasn’t them anymore.  He guided Warren’s hands away from his body, ending the kiss, but keeping his face close to Warren’s.  There was a slight resistance in Warren’s movements; Daniel knew what he wanted because a part of him wanted it too.  But he also wanted something different, to love each other with something other than sex.  

Daniel let go of Warren’s hands, shifting his position to lay down with his head in the other boy’s lap.

Disappointment and anger swept over Warren.  He wondered if he’d gone too far, given up too much ground.  But when he looked down at Daniel, resting his head, he couldn’t help but smirk a little.  He did like some parts of this.  It wasn’t as exciting as their usual, but it was nice.  “Thank you,” he murmured.  “For stopping me.”  When he received no response, he realized that Daniel’s eyes were closed.  His breathing had slowed and he looked perfectly peaceful.

What was he supposed to do now?  It was late at night and it wasn’t like he could move.  He didn’t want to disturb Daniel; that would undermine everything he’d just achieved.  With an irritated sigh, he resigned to stay where he was.  Eventually, he drifted off, one hand still holding Daniel’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry this chapter was late, my laptop exploded(read: stopped working). Uploads will probably be lessening bc I'm getting busier, so Sunday and Thursday is sorta out the window.


	12. Nothing

The Doug Eiffel Fanclub™

Doug Eiffel has changed the conversation name to The Merry Doug Eiffel Fanclub™.

Renée: How do you change the title???

Doug: lol you wish you knew

Renée: I’m going to google it unless you tell me.

Doug: magic

Renée: I’m googling it.

Doug: lame

Doug: are u going to Warren Kepler’s Christmas party

Doug: i got an invite in the mail

Doug: which is kinda creepy

Renée: That is weird.

Renée: I wonder why he would invite you?

Renée: I was invited but only because I was over at his house to work on our french project and his mom suggested that I come.  Still not sure if I’m going.

Doug: maybe he wants a piece of this amiright

Doug: i hope i’m not right

Doug: he’s fucking crazy

Renée: The only piece anyone wants from you is peace of mind, Doug Eiffel.

Doug: boooooo

Hera McCarthy has left the conversation.

Doug Eiffel added Hera McCarthy to the conversation.

Hera McCarthy has left the conversation.

Doug: maybe a cat stole her phone

Renée: No, I think she really just doesn’t like you.

Doug: like a really big cat

Doug: maybe a tiger

Doug: or a lion

Doug: but seriously you have to go to the party what if warren KILLS me

Renée: Face it Doug, she’s gone.

Renée: I might go.

Renée: I don’t think he hates you that much.

Doug: i have a really great christmas gift for her

Doug: i made it and everything

Renée: Well, I guess it’s worth a shot.

Renée: I’m just warning you not to expect much.

Doug: shell come back

Doug: weve been together since middle school

Doug: besides no one can resist the temptation of the Doug Eiffel Fanclub™.

Renée Minkowski has changed the conversation name to “The Ex-Doug Eiffel Fanclub”.

Renée: Nice try.

Renée: Don’t you love google?

Doug Eiffel has changed the conversation name to “The Ex-Doug Eiffel Fanclub™”.

 

***

 

“Put this plate out on the counter.”  Warren shoved a plate of cookies into Daniel’s hands and turned away.  They were setting up for the Warren’s Christmas party and Daniel had come over early, supposedly, in Warren’s mind, to help set up.

Daniel obediently went and set the plate on the counter.  “Yes, sir,” he snarked through a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie.

“And this one.”  Warren handed him another platter.

Daniel rolled his eyes.  “You clearly did  _ not _ make these cookies, Warren.  Because they’re actually good.”

“Shut up,”  Warren ordered calmly.  “And do what I say.  We all have our weaknesses, and you of all people shouldn’t be criticizing me for mine.”

Daniel set the platter he was given next to the plate of cookies.  “Whatever you say.”  He smirked, but it faltered.  He wasn’t sure he could go through with this.  “Hey, Warren?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“What is it?”

“Do you maybe want to...follow me to the living room and look at the snow?”

Warren raised an eyebrow.  “You do know my parents are home, right?”

Daniel gasped.  “Oh no, they could catch us  _ observing the weather  _ together, how homosexual!”

“Fine.  Let’s go to the living room and ‘watch the snow’.”  Warren made mock quotes in the air.

Daniel grinned nervously as they walked to the living room.

“The snow is so beautiful, isn’t-”  Warren began, only for Daniel to interrupt.

“So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use,” Daniel recited from memory, trying desperately not to stumble.

Warren blinked.  So, he’d memorized Shakespeare’s Sonnet 21.  How… cute.

“And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare, With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gemstones,”  Wait, was that right?  Seemed slightly off, but it was too late to do anything now.  Warren was staring at him and he couldn’t read his facial expression at all.  Why hadn’t he just gotten him a gift card like a normal boyfriend?

Warren hardly noticed the slip up, but was uncertain of how he felt about this ‘gift’.  It was a bit stupid, to be honest, only going to show how gullible Daniel was if he thought they could ever be a real couple with silly poems and all.

“With May-I mean, April's first-born flowers, and all things rare.”  Daniel regretted everything.  Was it too late to quit?  “That heaven's air in this huge rondure hems.  Shit!”  Daniel cursed as he realized he’d fuclked up the rhyme scheme.  “O! let me, true in love, but truly write, and then believe me, my love is as fair,” Daniel’s confidence was growing.  He hadn’t messed up in two lines, he was speaking more quickly than when he’d practiced.  “As any mother's child, though not so bright…”  Daniel paused.  He was blanking.  There was nothing and there should’ve been something, a few more lines of something.  “As…” he started again, just to go silent again.  He had no idea.  He hoped desperately that Warren would cut in and save him from this awkward silence.  Warren could, he knew these sonnets practically by heart.

Warren said nothing.  He watched Daniel without speaking, waiting for him to go on.  When Daniel said nothing, Warren shook his head.

“You’ve never been an actor, Daniel.” 

Daniel looked away, to the snow outside.  “I-I know, but I just thought...since you like Shakespeare, and he wrote these nice things about love...that if I could...you know?”  

“You made quite an effort,”  Warren said.  “Too bad it didn’t amount to much of anything.”

“I...I got through most of it,” Daniel defended.  

“Barely.”  Warren turned towards the door.  “We’ve got a party to prepare for.  The other guests will be arriving soon.”

Daniel sighed.  “You’re welcome,” he muttered.

 

***

Alana stepped into the living room and looked around.

“Nice decorations,”  she said, before crossing to sit on the couch next to Daniel.

Warren shrugged.  “Make yourself comfortable.  There’s food in the kitchen.  The others will be arriving soon.”  He left without another word.

“Happy Holidays,”  Alana said to Daniel.  “I got you something.”  she handed Daniel a slightly tattered silver gift bag.

“Thanks.  I got you this,” he said as he picked up a red envelope off of the table and passed it to her.  “Gift is inside.”  He looked at the contents of the bag-all he could see was blue fabric.  He pulled it out and looked at it.  “A scarf,” he said, sounding unamused.  “Well, now I have something to strangle you with if you get on my nerves,” he teased, still looking the scarf over.  It was actually very nice.  

“Better save that for the bedroom,”  Alana smirked.

Daniel’s face reddened and he was suddenly incredibly interested in checking the bag to see if there was anything else.  To his surprise, there actually was.  Daniel let out a squeal of fear and shock.  He dropped the gift bag and out of it came the object that drew the noise- a small stuffed duck.

Alana burst out laughing.  “You’re pathetic, Daniel.”

“You’re dead to me, Alana.”  Daniel tried to look casual as he pulled his feet up onto the couch, away from his worst fear.

“Hey!”  Warren poked his head in.  “No feet on the couch!”  he stepped aside, revealing Hera, dressed in a red and green plaid dress, with little jingle bell earrings.  She was holding a cylindrical wrapped present.  “Also, Hera has arrived.”

“Hey!”  Alana said brightly, waving Hera over.

“Hi Hera,”  Daniel greeted reluctantly.  He shot a glare at Warren before stuffing his scarf back into its bag, hopping off of the couch (leaving a long distance between himself and the  _ duck) _ and heading into the kitchen.  “Bye Hera.”

He left the room, followed by Warren.

“Uh...bye Daniel?”  Hera said, confused.  She sat down next to Alana on the couch, barely escaping tripping on the duck stuffed animal.  “Merry Christmas, Alana.  And Happy Hanukkah.”  She smiled, handing Alana the gift.  “It’s a p-poster, has something I think you’ll find funny.”

“Thanks!  Oh, here’s yours.  I found a cat toy for Mouse, I hope she likes it.  Happy Holidays!”

“Aw, that’s perfect!”  Hera grinned.  “You know, I’m really g-glad that we’re friends.  Everything has been so difficult lately a-and it’s been nice to have someone to talk to.”

“No problem.”  She glanced around awkwardly, feeling a bit weird about the fact that their friendship was mostly just a set up for convenience.  “Hey, look!  Warren’s left his phone here!”  She reached across to the phone sitting on the end of the coffee table.  “We should totally mess with him!”

“Um...I don’t know…”  Hera chewed on her bottom lip nervously.  “I really don’t want a-another twenty-three messages.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”  Alana started guessing passwords.  “Help me think of combinations to try!”

“I barely know him, and he doesn’t exactly seem like a one-t-two-three-four type of guy.”

“No, he doesn’t… I’ll try his birthday but I seriously doubt it… nope…”

After a few more attempts, the phone locked for a minute, giving them time to think about what the password might be.  Once it unlocked, they tried again, this time with the date of the next student council meeting.  It locked again for five minutes, and they began really trying to figure out what Warren might’ve used as his passcode.

“Maybe it’s something to do with him being a vegan?”  Hera suggested.

Alana laughed, staring down at the phone.  “Kale!  No, just joking.  Hmmm… he doesn’t really look up to any celebrities… he doesn’t really seem like the kind of person to put a date of any sort, that’d be too obvious.”

“Does he have any lucky numbers?”  Hera interrogated.  “Any four letter words that are a big deal t-to him?”

“Not really… he wouldn’t make it something he thought anyone could guess, so if he does have a lucky number or word, I probably don’t know it.”

“Maybe it could be something to do with him being student body pre-”

“How are things-”  Warren entered the room, only to be interrupted by an attack.  Hera, in her state of panic, had picked up the duck stuffed animal off of the floor and thrown it at his face.

She smiled nervously.  “Things a-are great.”

Alana quickly stuffed Warren’s phone into her pocket and acted nonchalant.

“Are they?”  Warren asked, leaning over to pick up the duck off the floor and examine it. “I suppose this was a gag gift for Daniel?  How cute.”  He dropped the duck onto the coffee table and left the room.

Hera looked at Alana for a moment, totally silent.  “I feel like I just had a near death experience.”

“You’ll get used to it,”  Alana grinned.  “I’m proud of you for throwing a duck at him.  That was very bold.”  She pulled Warren’s phone from her pocket.  “Alright, we’ve got two minutes before we can try again.  We need ideas.”

“Yes, ideas!  So there isn’t anyone Warren looks up to?  Writers, philosophers?”  Hera tried to pick Alana’s brain.  She was way too invested in this operation.

“Well… he does like Shakespeare… maybe the date Shakespeare was born?  Or died?  Ugh, that doesn’t seem like something he’d do though…”  Alana thought aloud.

“But...are there any other n-numbers associated with Shakespeare?  Wait, what about line numbers?  Scenes, and acts, like how you cite them?!”  Hera rushed out, excited.

Alana’s eyes widened.  “Maybe!  Hmmm… I’m trying to think if there are any particular quotes he likes… I haven’t heard him quote Shakespeare that often…”

Hera sighed.  “Well, there are a million quotes, and he wouldn’t l-like anything common, so I guess we should try something e-wait!  That thing!  He said it to Renée during Macbeth and she was ranting about it for days!”

“What thing?”  Alana grabbed her own phone off the table, logged in, and brought of a web browser.  “Do you remember it?”

“Uh...something about a snake hiding under a flower?  Lady Macbeth says it.”

“Okay… ‘snake hiding under a flower shakespeare quotes’... let’s see what comes up…”  Alana stared hard at her phone.  “Is it… ‘look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under it’?  Does that sound familiar?”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”  Hera said happily.  “What are th-the numbers?”

“Act 1… scene 5… line number… 75.  Let’s try 1575.”  She picked up Warren’s phone.  Five seconds to go.  As soon as it unlocked again, she punched in the code and held her breath.  To her astonishment, it worked.  “We got it!”  she exclaimed, showing Hera the phone.

Hera threw her arms around Alana victoriously.  “We did it!” she exclaimed, a bit quieter than Alana had.

Alana nearly fell backwards in surprise.  She wasn’t really a fan of hugs, but in this instance, she had no choice but to tolerate it.  She had to admit, with Hera, she didn't completely mind it.

“So, what do you think we should do?”  she asked, scrolling across his screens and tapping a few folders.

“Hm...could be fun to move his apps around, mess u-up his perfect folders.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea… or maybe…”  Alana tapped the contacts icon.  “We could change everyone’s name.”

Hera put a hand over her mouth.  “That would be a disaster.  Alana, you’re a monster.”

“Or we could do something more subtle,”  Alana suggested.  “Like maybe just switch a few around.  What do you think?”

Hera took her hand from her mouth.  “What if we switch Daniel’s with...someone else’s?  I mean, he does send Daniel...e-exclusive content.”

Alana giggled.  “Oh, that would be great.  Who could we switch him with… Alexander… Renée… Doug…”

“Doug, definitely.  It won’t hurt Warren at all, but it will be hilarious.  Plus, I can find out from Renée how he reacted.”

“Alright then.  Doug it is.” 

 

***

  
  


Doug arrived a little while later wearing a Star Wars christmas sweater and accompanied by Renée.  Upon entering the living room, he caught sight of Hera.

“Renée.”  He dragged her back out into the hall.  “Should I try to talk to her?  I mean I do have a gift for her.  I have to do something.  Maybe she’ll forgive me?”

Renée nodded.  “At least you can give her the gift.  Show her you’re trying.”

Doug took a deep breath, clutching the gift box with Hera’s name on it.  “Alright.  May the force be with me.”

He headed into the living room, only to see that Hera was gone, and Alana was staring directly at him.

“Um.  Where’d Hera go?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,”  Alana stated matter-of-factly.

“I have something to give her.”  Doug said, holding out the gift box.

Alana scowled at him.  “I’ll give it to her for you,” she offered without an ounce of kindness.

“I’ll give it to her myself.”  Doug insisted.  “How do I know you’ll actually give it to her?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”  Alana asked innocently.  “I’m her friend.  I’ve never hurt her, or you, or anyone you know.”

“You’ve turned her against me, I know that much,”  Doug muttered, too scared to speak the words aloud.  “Please, I just want to talk to her.”

“I’m not stopping you.  But she isn’t here and I offered to make sure your gift gets to her in time.”

“Fine.”  Doug handed the gift box to Alana.  “Let her know it’s from me and that… that I miss her.”  He headed out of the living room, not looking back at Alana and entered the kitchen, where he found a plate of cookies sitting on the counter and happily helped himself.  Warren entered a moment later causing Doug glanced up at him briefly.

“Sup?” he asked, taking a break from his race to finish the cookies.

“Not much.”  Warren replied coolly.  “Would you like anything to drink?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Warren helped himself to a cup of punch, then leaned across the counter, watching Doug stuff cookies into his mouth at an alarming rate.

“Do you need something?”  Doug asked, suspicious of Warren’s behavior.

“Nothing.”  Warren sipped his punch.

“Huh.  Well, thanks for inviting me.” 

“Not a problem.”  Warren flashed a serpentine smile in his direction before moving around to Doug’s side of the counter and picking up a cookie.  “It’s good to have you.”

Doug nodded, about to head back to the living room- or the hallway- or some other room where he could get away from Warren’s extreme creepiness. 

“Uh, where’s the bathroom?”  Doug asked awkwardly.

“Just down- oh!”  In his eagerness to point the direction to the bathroom, Warren’s cup of punch had sloshed all down the front of Doug’s sweater.  “Sorry about that.”  

Doug made a face, then shrugged.  “Eh, whatever.  You got paper towels or something?”

“I could just get you a clean shirt.  Just a moment.”  Warren left the room, leaving Doug rather confused.

Daniel walked into the kitchen, making a beeline for the cookies.  “Hey, Doug,” he said casually.  Then, he froze.  “Wait, what, why are you here?”

“Free food.”  Doug said, shoving another cookie in his mouth and grinning. 

“No, I mean at this party.”  Daniel snatched the cookie tray away before Doug could eat all of them.  “Renée is here because of Warren’s mom, but Warren hates you.”

Doug shrugged.  “Who am I to argue?”  he moved over to Daniel, trying to steal the cookies back from him.  “Are you still available?  Because I sure am.”

Suddenly, the reason Warren had invited Doug clicked in Daniel’s mind, causing his next words to be impulsive and airy.  “Available?  Yes, I am, that, that is what I am, uh huh.”  He didn’t even remember to fight Doug from taking his cookies back, he was too shocked at the fact Warren had invited Doug to make him jealous.

Doug raised an eyebrow.  He hadn’t expected this sort of response, but he could roll with it.  He snatched the cookie platter from Daniel and set it back on the counter, looping an arm around Daniel’s shoulders.  “Oh, really?  Good to know.”

Daniel nodded, glancing around and wondering if Warren was near.  Two could play at the jealousy game.  He couldn’t believe everything had just been an act.  He was done being toyed with, he wanted to do something for once.  “So…”  He tried to think of something flirty to say.  It shouldn’t have been hard seeing as Doug was rather attractive, but he wasn’t used to flirting with Warren- thus, he had no experience.  “Do you come here often?” he questioned, emulating something he’d seen work in a movie once.

Doug rolled his eyes.  “I thought you had experience with this stuff, but I guess not.  You do look exceptionally sexy in that shirt, however.”  he grinned slyly.

Daniel was almost blushing again.  No wonder he’d been sleeping with Warren for so long, he was apparently easy.  “I do have experience, would you like me to prove it?”  he challenged, throwing in his own flirty smile.

“Absolutely.”

Warren happened to re-enter the room just then, holding a clean shirt for Doug.  He saw Doug and Daniel standing together- though Daniel had shrunk away from Doug a bit at Warren’s entrance- and his eyes widened.  He crossed to Doug and began tugging at his sweater.

“You should really change this,”  he said.  “I’ve got a clean shirt for you.”

“Ah… I think I can change my own shirt,”  Doug said, trying to push him away.

“Or, I could help you,”  Daniel said through a snicker at Warren’s attempt.  This time, it was different.  Daniel was the one being pined after and Warren was the one losing.

“Oh no, I’ve got it,”  Warren hissed.

“You two need to chill, I can take care of this myself.”  Doug said, sounding concerned.  “Really though, if you wanted my shirt off, all you had to do was ask.”  He winked at Daniel, before continuing to struggle against both of their efforts to undress him.

Daniel let go of Doug after that comment, resisting the urge to grin.  “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”  

Doug finally managed to bat Warren away, and snatched the clean shirt off the counter where Warren had dropped it.  “I’m going to change my shirt,” he announced, leaving the kitchen and moving towards the hall, where Warren had indicated there was a bathroom.

As soon as he was in the bathroom, he locked the door and collapsed against it.  He had no idea what was up with Warren and Daniel; as far as he knew, they were still together, though it definitely felt like they were both trying to gain Doug’s attention.  Not that Warren had a chance, of course, Doug thought smugly.  

He changed his shirt and went back out into the hall, where he found Daniel waiting for him.

“Hey,”  Daniel said, deciding that saying anything more would probably be a mistake.  He was rusty at any flirting that wasn’t just yelling.

Doug sort of smiled.  “Hey.”  

“Sorry about Warren, he’s...well, Warren.”  Daniel shook his head a little.  The glory of his victory with Doug had faded a little, and instead he felt sad and betrayed about how Warren had acted.  He thought the apology that night with the pizza had  _ meant  _ something _. _

“Don’t worry about it.  Besides, you’re the only one I’m interested in.”  He moved closer to Daniel, grinning.  Then, he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, and looked up.  Huh.  That was funny.  Mistletoe.

Daniel’s eyes followed his gaze.  He remembered hanging that cluster himself, getting berated by Warren for hanging it ‘incorrectly’.  Daniel was so fucking done.  Without a word, without a thought, he leaned forward, cupped Doug’s chin in his hand, and kissed him.

Doug was, understandably, very taken aback by this gesture.  He’d seen the mistletoe and knew what it meant, of course, but he’d really only been joking around when he flirted with Daniel.  But hey, if Daniel was fine with this, Doug could go along with it.

About then, Warren entered the hall and stopped dead when he saw the two standing together beneath the mistletoe, kissing.  His plans had backfired entirely; Daniel had turned against him.

“Daniel.”  The two jumped apart.  Warren smiled at them.  “Good to see you two are getting along.”  He crossed to them, took Daniel by the arm, and dragged him down the hall towards the door leading to the backyard.

“Fuck off, Warren,”  Daniel tried to get out of his grip.  “We were under the mistletoe  _ you _ made me hang.”

Warren didn’t stop until they were standing outside in the backyard, the snow floating down around them.  He closed the back door and released Daniel, shoving him aside.

“Do you think I fucking care?  I’m sick of your nonsense!  You know you belong to me, shouldn’t that be enough?”

“I don’t belong to you!  You lied to me, Warren, you said you didn’t want to hurt me anymore, but you invited Doug here to make me jealous.  You mocked me earlier today about the monologue, and  _ you don’t fucking love me,” _  Daniel accused like it was the worst thing in the world.

“So what?”  Warren spat.  “You never cared about that before.  You couldn’t stand to go on without me.  I invited Doug here to remind you of your place.”

“Well, I kissed Doug to remind you of yours!”  Daniel yelled.

Warren slapped him across the face.  

Daniel gasped in pain.  He raised a hand to his cheek, which felt like it was burning even in the snow.  For a moment he stayed like that, frozen in place by the utter agony, not from the slap, but from the betrayal.  It had never occurred to Daniel that Warren was capable of doing something like that to him.  “I’m done,” he whispered, and his voice came out scared, weak, and small.  “I’m done,” he repeated, louder, but he couldn’t escape a terrified tremble.

Warren watched him, gritting his teeth, trying to appear unfazed.  “Fine.  Leave.  But you’ll have nothing without me.”

Daniel squared his shoulders.  “Nothing is better than  _ this.” _  With the words out of his mouth, he turned and walked back inside, leaving Warren out in the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So updates are officially on Sundays only now! Gosh, this chapter was so fun to write- it's festive, gay, and SAD. All my favorite things.


	13. Sleeping With the Enemy

Warren: Don’t talk to Daniel tomorrow.  He’s on a rebellious kick and I’d like to remind him what he’s missing out on.

Alana: Seems unnecessary, but alright.

Alana: Just out of curiosity, what happened?

Warren: He said some things he didn’t mean at the party yesterday.

Alana: Like

Warren: How he’s done with me.  

Warren: But he’ll come crawling back, it’s just matter of time.

Alana: Is it now

Alana: Well, good luck with that.

Warren: I don’t need luck.

 

***

 

Daniel: Hey

Daniel: Can we talk

Alana: Warren doesn’t want me talking to you.

Daniel: Warren is an asshole

Daniel: It’s not like he’ll know

Alana: True.

Alana: Better safe than sorry though.

Daniel: Are you kidding me

Daniel: Alana

Daniel: ALANA

Daniel: what the fuck

Daniel: I thought we were friends

 

***

 

Daniel walked into the lunchroom feeling pretty miserable.  Choir had passed uneventfully, but he had felt Warren’s eyes on him the whole time.  He naturally started the path to his usual table(the one with Alana, Hera, and Warren) before he realized he probably wasn’t welcome there.  To the annoyance of several people behind him, Daniel slowed his pace, panicking.  He had no other friends.  He could feel Warren’s gaze on him, no doubt smug and enjoying every bit of his internal struggle.  Daniel scanned the lunchroom for acquaintances- at one table, there was that guy he’d gotten into a fight with once... at another, the girl who kept trying to steal his parking space, and at the next… Doug Eiffel and Renée Minkowski.

Daniel glanced over his shoulder at Warren, who was smirking.  It was as if the look had been permanently glued to his face.  Warren always looked so goddamn happy when Daniel was at his most miserable.  So, mostly out of spite, Daniel went over to Doug and Renée’s table and slid onto the bench next to Doug.  He wrapped an arm around the other boy.  

“Hey, honey.”

Doug looked over at him, ignoring Renée’s puzzled stare from across the table.  “Hey babe.  How’s it going?”

“Better now that I’m with you,”  Daniel flirted shamelessly, scooting closer to Doug.  He made no effort to keep his voice down, in hopes that Warren might be watching.

“Awww, how sweet of you,”  Doug purred, stroking Daniel’s cheek.  He was down for whatever this was.

Daniel grinned slyly and opened his mouth for more flattery, but someone else spoke up first.

“I  _ knew _ you were gay for Doug!  Now I need to get my money back from Hera...I should’ve known, I never lose a bet!”  Renée said triumphantly, a plan in her eyes already.

Doug turned to Renée, trying to decide whether or not to tell her that this was all more or less a joke.  Probably.  He decided to let her think what she would.  “You made a bet that we’d get together?”

“It was more about whether Daniel liked you,” Renée clarified.  “So when you and Hera found that video of him and Warren, I thought I lost.”

“Wait, what video?”  Daniel’s demeanor suddenly changed from his carefree air to a panicked concern.

Doug barked a laugh.  “Oh yeah.  That.  That was really something.”

Daniel took a deep breath.  He could only imagine the type of thing Doug must have seen.  Would he be living in the shadow of his relationship with Warren forever?  He leaned close to Doug’s ear.  “What video?” he asked in what he felt was a sexy voice.

Doug turned his head towards Daniel so their faces were millimeters apart.  “Nothing you need to worry about, babe.”  He tilted his head and kissed Daniel lightly on the lips.

“Okay, first, you two need to stop with the PDA.  Second of all, Doug, this is the definition of sleeping with the enemy!”  Renée said, coming back to her senses from the high of knowing she had won the bet.

“I don’t see anything wrong with this,”  Doug said, still gazing into Daniel’s eyes.  “Besides, we haven’t slept together...yet.”  He added the final word under his breath.

“Um, because just a few weeks ago, he was with Warren Kepler, the definition of evil, the devil incarnate, the worst person in this school?  Maybe he’s hitting on you as some part of an elaborate scheme.”  Renée glared at Daniel, suspicious.

“I’m not part of any scheme.  Warren and I broke up, we weren’t ever really even together,” Daniel argued, not liking where this was going.  To turn the tides for his own enjoyment, he made his way onto Doug’s lap.  “Do you mind?” he asked Doug softly.

“Not a bit,”  Doug replied, wrapping an arm around Daniel’s waist.  “Don’t worry, I don’t believe you’re part of some scheme, darling.”

Renée scoffed.  “I’m trying to eat.  I’m going to go sit with Dominic.  See you, Doug.  Be careful.”  And with that, Renée got up and left.

“Better be careful, I’m dangerous,” Daniel teased with a flash of a grin before he lightly kissed Doug’s forehead.

“Will do,”  Doug said.  The two boys sat in silence for a little while before Doug spoke up again.  “So… is this a thing now?”

Daniel frowned.  “I… don’t know.  I just came over here to make Warren jealous, show him that I’m better off without him and all that.  Not that I didn’t have fun.  I think we could have a lot of fun.”

“I agree.  Making Warren jealous sounds like a blast.  He never deserved you anyway.  And it’s not like I’m taken, seeing as the one person I was interested in now hates my guts.”

“So...let’s do this.”  Daniel smiled.  This new plan would at least be entertaining.  He drew Doug into a long kiss that was interrupted only when the bell rang, and even then, they took their time breaking apart.

 

***

 

“Come on, it’ll be fine.”  Daniel insisted, pulling Doug down the hall.

“And I’m sure the Senate was _ fine _ until Julius Caesar got stabbed!”

“Nobody is getting stabbed,”  Daniel reassured him.  “It’s just a meeting.  All you have to do is sit there and pretend you’re deeply in love with me whenever Warren looks our way.”

Doug sighed.  “Fine.  But this is not going to be a regular thing.  I don’t want to go to all your nerd meetings.”

“This is about leadership and important decisions,”  Daniel insisted.  “And getting revenge on Warren.”  He pulled open the door and stepped inside, Doug following.

Warren was sitting at the head of the table.  “You're late,” he said coolly.

“Thanks for waiting,”  Daniel replied, without looking at him.

“We didn’t,” Warren responded sharply.

“Hey Doug,”  Renée said, looking surprised.

“Hey hey,” Doug greeted awkwardly.

Daniel sat down at his usual place, only then realizing they were short a chair for Doug.  Instead of looking around for an extra chair, he locked eyes with Doug, motioning vaguely towards his lap.  Doug accepted his invitation with a smirk.

Warren cleared his throat, trying not to seem bothered.  “Doug, is there any particular reason why you're here?  Last I checked, you are not a member of the student council.”

Doug shrugged.  “Heard there was free food.”  He looked at Daniel.  “I was lied to.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Doug’s waist.  “I thought he might be interested in joining.  I know we’re always looking for new members who are dedicated to bettering our community.”  He gave Warren a snide smile.

Warren stared at the pair of them blankly.  “So, today, on the agenda, Daniel and I are currently the only candidates running for student body president, would anyone else like to run?”  he talked quickly, knowing this was a formality.  Alexander wasn't interested in opposing him, Alana wasn't here(and also wasn’t interested in opposing him), and Renée had no one to run with.

“Actually,”  Daniel said, raising his hand.  “I would like to withdraw from the election.  I’m no longer running with you.  I’m running with Doug.”

“You're what?”  Doug blurted out.

“You can’t drop out, Daniel,”  Warren hissed.

“I’m not dropping out.  I’m running with someone else,”  Daniel replied smoothly.

“Daniel, you shouldn't do this.  You won't win,” Warren said, voice iced over with anger.  He was clearly talking about more than the election.  Doug started,

“Um, hello, Earth to Daniel, since when did I agree to-”

“I will win!”  Daniel insisted.  “I don’t need  _ you _ to be successful!”

“I guess we’ll see,”  Warren said slowly.  “So Doug is your  _ potential  _ Vice President?”

“I am?”

“Yes, he is.  And yes, you are.  Should we proceed to the next issue now?”

Renée sighed.  “Finally.”

 

***

 

Ever since Daniel broke up with Warren, computer science had been awkward as fuck.  The teacher was one of those nice ones who let everyone pick their permanent seats at the beginning of the year, and at the beginning of the year, Daniel and Warren had obviously chosen to sit next to each other.  Which meant that Daniel was now stuck sitting next to the person he most hated in the world.

It only got worse when the teacher announced that they’d be working on a small programming project in partners. 

Daniel scanned the room, but all the other students already had someone to work with.  He felt Warren’s eyes on the back of his head.  Of course that asshole was going to force him into this.

“Fine.”  Daniel didn’t meet Warren’s eyes.  He reached for the mouse and keyboard and logged into their computer.  “Stay the fuck out of my way.”

“I've never prevented you from doing anything you wanted to do before, have I?”  Warren asked.

“Shut up.”  

“If I remember correctly, you were preventing me.”  Warren raised an eyebrow.

Daniel focused on typing something on the computer, doing his best to ignore Warren.  If only Doug was here, Warren would be forced to drown in his infuriating smugness.  If only.

As he waited for a page to load, Daniel slipped his phone out of his pocket under the desk and texted Alana.

 

Daniel: HELP ME

Alana: Can't. Not talking to you.

Daniel: You are literally talking to me rn

Alana: Not anymore.

Daniel: Are you sure?

Daniel: Alana

Daniel: jfc Alana

Daniel: fine

 

Daniel muttered in annoyance, but closed the chat and switched to his conversation with Doug.

 

Daniel: HELP ME

Daniel: I’M STUCK IN COMP SCI WITH WARREN

Doug: sext me

Doug: is he reading over ur shoulder

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel realized Warren had put an arm around his shoulders and pushed him away.

“Get the fuck off,”  he snapped, looking back at his phone.

 

Daniel: Maybe

Daniel: Um

Daniel: Different idea, let’s just talk

Daniel: Where are you rn

Doug: hiding in the locker rooms

Doug: i got the pe teacher with the napoleon complex

Daniel: That sucks

Daniel: Won’t they notice you’re not there

Doug: idk

Doug: idc

Doug: im not running laps

 

After Warren’s arm was removed, he'd begun talking about something, something Daniel was taking care not to listen to.  However, he tuned back in when he heard the words,

“You know, you always were fun in bed.”

“I told you to shut the fuck up.  I’m sorry you miss me but it’s your own damn fault.”  He stopped speaking to meet Warren’s gaze. “Oh wait, I’m  _ not _ sorry.”

“You always were incredibly... defiant.  It made it  _ so _ much more satisfying when you…”  Warren paused deliberately, running his tongue over his lips.   _ “Obeyed.” _

Daniel did his best to ignore him.

 

Daniel: Meanwhile, Warren is being a fucking creep

Daniel: Like I’m not interested

Doug: sucks that ur stuck with him

Doug: why couldnt you be with hera or alana

Daniel: Because I’m fucking gay that’s why

Doug: wut

Doug: you could still partner with them

Daniel: Wait

Daniel: Oh

Daniel: OH

Daniel: Fuck me

Daniel: They always partner with each other and I partner with warren.  That’s how it works

Doug: but hes ur ex

Doug: thats weird

 

“You can pretend you don't want me all you like, Daniel.  But we both know you wouldn't have to work so hard to ignore me if you didn't want me.”  Warren glanced at their computer screen.  “We have a syntax error.”

Daniel pulled the keyboard away from Warren and searched through the code until he found the problem.  “Fixed.  Now fuck off.”

 

Daniel: Exactly

Daniel: I didn’t have much of a choice

Doug: theres always a choice

Doug: make a friend

Daniel: Everyone else was taken

Daniel: And I do have you darling

Doug: ofc

Doug: but i cant help with ur code stuff

 

“I remember you tried to ignore me back when we first met, too.  You were so closed off, never heard a word out of your mouth that was anything but sarcasm.  But then…”  Warren smiled devilishly.  “You opened up to me.  And I heard a lot more than words from your mouth.”

_ Ignore him, _ Daniel thought.   _ He’ll only take more satisfaction out of you getting mad. _

 

Daniel: Well duh

Daniel: I appreciate the sort of company tho

Doug: just remember how mad warren was when i sat on ur lap during that meeting

Doug: he was so mad

Daniel: Yes

Daniel: That was so great

Doug: shit

Doug: coach coming

Doug: g2g hide in a locker

 

Warren’s words brought Daniel back to the real world.  “He’ll never actually want you, you know.”

Daniel growled.  “I’m not listening to you, you fucking liar.”

“It's true, we both know it.  He wants  _ Hera.” _  He whispered the girl’s name like it was something scandalous.  “I'm the only one who's ever wanted you.”

Daniel took a deep breath and told himself to ignore Warren.  He could ignore anything if he tried hard enough.

Warren leaned closer, his next words hardly more than a whisper.  “I’m the only one who will  _ ever _ want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *celebrates because I finally get to tag this fic Jacoffel*  
> Chapter updates are now officially on Sundays!


	14. Sore Loser

Warren flipped through the stack of mail determinedly.  His college acceptance letters would be arriving anytime soon and although he had no doubt he’d get in everywhere he applied, he was still anxious to receive the results.  It was hard not to be when these letters would tell him his entire future.

On the bottom of the pile was a thick envelope from MIT.  Warren’s hands shook as he reached for the letter opener and slit open the envelope.  He could hardly unfold the letter.  His eyes refused to focus on the words.  Finally, he took a deep breath and read the letter.

_ We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted into The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. _

Warren read the sentence over and over again, trying to make some better sense of it, but there was no changing the words on the paper.  He’d been rejected.

Warren reached over and picked up his phone.  Maybe they just weren’t accepting many new students for… whatever reason.  It was likely no one from his school had gotten in this year.  MIT was highly exclusive anyway.  There had to be an explanation other than his own failure.

 

Warren: Hey, did you get your letter for MIT yet? 

Alana: Yeah, I got in!

Alana: Did you?

 

Warren gritted his teeth.  How was he supposed to answer that?  Was he supposed to say he failed?  Him, of all people?  Alana would never take him seriously again.  She barely took him seriously now.  He couldn’t tell her the truth, he couldn’t show weakness.  Then again, not answering would be equivalent to confessing rejection.  Meanwhile, lying would only make things worse, seeing as it would be very obvious that he didn’t get in when he failed to show up at the same school next fall.

 

Warren: I haven’t gotten mine yet.  At this rate, I’m beginning to reconsider anyway.  MIT might not be my type of place.

Alana: That's nice, Warren.

 

Warren was pondering how not-nice this whole situation was when the knock on his front door nearly dropped the letter and his phone.  He tossed the rejection letter onto the table and went to open the door, taking a few deep breaths on the way.  He couldn’t let himself look a mess when Renée arrived.

He opened the door and smiled his widest, fakest grin.  “Good afternoon, Renée.”

Renée sighed, ready to deal with yet another hour of Warren’s condescending brand of perfectionism.  “Hey,” she said, hoping to skip over the meaningless pleasantries. 

“My mother is working in the kitchen,”  he told her, stepping aside to let her in and shutting the front door behind her.  “I’ve got what we need in my room.” 

‘The den of the lion’ was the first phrase that popped into Renée’s head for a response.  Instead, she said, “Cool.”  She followed Warren upstairs.

Warren entered his room, leaving the door open as his mother had requested, sat down at his desk, and opened his laptop.

“So for the project- what do you think you are doing?”

Renée shrugged, looking around the room.  “Promised I'd give Doug every detail of this situation.  Although, I suppose if he wanted to know about your room now, he could ask Daniel.”

“Get away from that,”  Warren growled.

Renée ignored him; she was certain he would have treated her property the same way, if he wasn't too good to come over to her house.  If Warren could torment her in the safety of their French class, then Renée would have to strike back in the privacy of his home, where she didn't have to smile or pull her punches.  She looked over the things around his room.  His desk was organized, holding mostly only books and neat stacks of papers, but one thing did stick out to her- a tattered red scarf that seemed distinctly like the type of thing Warren would be caught dead wearing.  She picked it up absentmindedly.  The fabric was scratchy and cheap.

Warren’s eyes went wide.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  he demanded.  The scarf had belonged to Daniel, there was no good excuse for Warren to still have the scarf around after the breakup.  Would Renée recognize it?  Would she see it as a weakness?  “Don’t you have any respect?”

Renée shot him a sideways glance.  “You have such a stick up your ass, I can't believe you’d own a scarf this ugly.”

“Put.  It.  Down.”  Warren ordered.  “We need to work on our project!”

Renée shrugged.  She set down the scarf and flipped open the french textbook. “Do you see how it's irritating to have your private life threatened by school related activities?”

“What’s irritating is your complete disrespect of my privacy,”  Warren replied coolly.

“You came backstage during our production and put a fricking rose on my purse.  Do you really want to talk to me about boundaries?”

“That wasn’t harming anything.  I wished you good luck in your performance and I know it is customary to leave flowers.  I was following an established tradition.”

Renée frowned.  “Whatever.  Can't you at least drop the act now that we’re alone?  We both know you aren't as nice and charming as you act and that every word you say has an ulterior motive.”  She scoffed.  “If you weren't such a terrible person, I’d suggest you audition for the spring show.”

“Who says I’m a terrible person?  I don’t know where you might’ve gotten that idea from, Renée.  Now, if you’re finished being rude, we should really start this project.”

“Hypocrite,” Renée remarked, then set to trying to find the right page in the textbook.

Warren tried his best to ignore her and focus on the task at hand.  It seemed she hadn’t recognized the scarf as Daniel’s (now that he thought about, it was a stupid idea that she would recognize it in the first place) but he still felt uncomfortable with the fact that she knew it was there, and the fact that he’d so carelessly left it there.

He glanced over again at the scarf.  How had it even gotten there?  Daniel must’ve left it one of the many times he slept over.  The fact that Daniel wouldn’t be sleeping over ever again pained Warren more than he cared to admit to himself.  Still, he just had to wait it out.  If he was the one to reach out, he’d look weak, and Daniel would know he could walk away at any time he felt with, regardless of repercussions.  He had to be the strong one, the one who didn’t need affection, the one who was content with nothing, the one who didn’t mind the disgusting displays of Daniel and Doug, the one who wasn’t jealous, no, not one bit-

Who was he kidding?

***

Warren's piano recital was, in his mother's words, 'a demonstration of how far you've come and the bright future ahead, pumpkin' and in his father's words, 'a big bleepin' deal.'   
Warren disagreed.  Piano had always felt like nothing to him, another extracurricular to add to the list, another skill to hone.  He played the music and that was it.  And as for his bright future, he was...almost doubtful.  Logically he knew there were good schools other than MIT, but he had  _ wanted _ MIT in a way he hadn't wanted the other ones.  MIT was the name he could give to everything he'd ever worked for, every game he'd ever played to get what he had.  MIT was tangible, legitimate and he had let it slip through his fingers.   
As he began to play, he found himself wishing he could be like those over emotional types he saw freaking out backstage.  The anxious girls who were worried they wouldn't be able to hit  _ that _ note or the scattered boys who had misplaced their music.  He wished he could slip away.  But no, he was grounded, present, and all that mattered was hitting the right keys, playing it how it was written, being perfect.  If he wasn't good enough for MIT, then fuck it; if he wasn't good enough for Jacobi, then fuck it.

If he wasn't good enough, he could be better.

He finished the piece, his hands fell to his lap, and he took a deep breath before getting up, bowing, and leaving the stage.

After everything was over, he waded through a crowd of proud parents who shouldn't have been proud and tired kids who shouldn't have been tired.  He was looking for his own overly proud parents, but he didn't feel tired, only purposeful.

As he aggressively pushed through the throngs, he knocked shoulders with someone.  He stopped for a moment, planning to apologize, but when he realized who he'd caught, the apology died in his throat.  “Daniel, I didn't expect to see you here.”  

Daniel staggered, glancing frantically around for a way out of the situation.

“Warren!  Oh!  Um, my- um- my cousin was performing tonight, so uh… yeah.  Good seeing you.”  Daniel tried to push away into the crowd, but Warren stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Your cousin…”  He tightened his grip on Daniel’s shoulder.  “Moved to England three months ago.”

“My- ah- second cousin.  Easier to call him my cousin.”  He brushed Warren’s hand away.

Daniel didn't have second cousins.  “You came to see me.”  Warren’s rejected hand went for Daniel’s idle one.

Daniel let him take it.  He didn’t exactly know why.  A part of him yearned to take Warren back, to let the other boy kiss and touch and control him.  But the logical side of Daniel wouldn’t let him return to that dark place.  He knew only despair and frustration awaited him in Warren’s cold gaze, in the touch of his skin, in the taste of his lips.

Still, he didn’t pull away.

And he didn’t reply.

“I missed you,” Warren said.  It was purposefully past tense- Daniel was already his again.  The missing part was over.  The gaping hole in him had been filled.  He couldn't help but smile.

“I still hate you,”  Daniel burst out suddenly, pulling away from Warren.  How dare he try to fix everything by just… taking his hand?  “I don’t miss you at all, and I didn’t come here for you, you arrogant fuckface.”

Warren’s smile faded.  He reevaluated.  “You drove yourself here, right?  You can sleep at my place if you want.”  He knew Daniel was always searching for another escape from his father.  He thought it might be enough.  “We don't even have to...we could just sleep.  Besides, I have your scarf.” 

“I don’t want my fucking scarf,”  Daniel snapped.  “And I don’t want to go back to your house ever again.  I don’t care if we’re doing anything or not.  Good night.”  Again, Daniel tried to leave, but he felt Warren grab his hand and pull him back.

“Daniel, please.  I just want to talk.  If not at my place, then...there are a few empty rooms here.  And you have time, your curfew isn't for an hour or so.  Hear me out,” Warren pleaded.

What  _ was _ it about Warren’s voice that made Daniel want to give in so easily?  He knew he should leave, get out of this situation before he did something stupid.  But it wouldn’t hurt to talk, if that was all he wanted.  After all, despite his denial, Daniel… sort of missed him.  He didn’t want the pain and the heartache, but he did want Warren and nothing but Warren.

“Fine.  But not for long.”

Warren led him to an empty room, as promised.  He quietly shut the door behind them.  They stood in awkward silence for a moment or so before Warren said, “I really did just want to protect you.  That’s all I've wanted since freshman year.”

“Protect me?”  Daniel spluttered.  “All you’ve done is abuse me and lie to me!  All this time!”

Warren shook his head.  “No,” he said, the word ringing as fact.  “You remember what it was like back then.  I helped you.  You were completely unhappy, going nowhere.  You were alone.” 

“I would’ve been better off without you than I am now.”

“Would you?  Would you really?  Tell me, Daniel, what have I actually done to you that's so awful?  I slapped you at the party and maybe that was a bit overboard, but what else?  What about all the times where I didn't hurt you?  Do those all disappear because that makes it easier for you to ignore how you feel?”

“No, all those disappear because of all the other times where you hurt me and betrayed me!  My feelings would be simple if only you didn’t make me question whether or not I belong to myself when I’m with you!  My problem is that you don’t know where to stop.  You can’t seem to grasp the concept that I am another human being who deserves respect!”  Daniel felt he might’ve said too much, but it was too late to take the words back now.

“It's not about whether you belong to yourself or not.  It's about us belonging together.  The big picture,” Warren reminded calmly.  “I know you're a person.  I respect you.  I'd never have fucked you if I didn't.  I'd never have spent all that time pulling you out of nothingness if I didn't think you were worth it.”

“No, you did everything you did because  _ you _ wanted to.  Because you liked having that control over me, because you liked being able to snap your fingers and make me obey!”

“But you were better for it!  Me giving you something to do, someone to do it for- that made you into something.  Before you were just some kid getting beat up by his dad,” he spat out cruelly.  “Now you're more than that.”

“Yes, I am, now that you’re out of the picture!  Maybe once you helped me, but we passed that point a long time ago and you became a burden I couldn’t see because I was blinded by the feelings I had for you.  I’m not going back to that and you’re a fool if you expect me to.” Daniel turned away, wanting to end the conversation, but not quite wanting to leave.

“Daniel…”  Warren stepped closer to him.  He leaned down to press a soft kiss to the other boy’s neck.  “I never meant to hurt you.  I only wanted you to be better because I believed in you,” he spoke, the same calm tone from before.  “I still believe in you,” he whispered.

Daniel found himself frozen in place, unable to pull away, no matter how much he knew he needed to escape.  Warren’s words were hypnotic and Daniel was falling into them, away from himself.

“Warren…”  he breathed, closing his eyes.  “I don’t… I don’t want this anymore…”

“Yes, you do,” Warren murmured.  He wrapped his arms loosely around Daniel’s torso, wanting to keep him close.  “You came here because you wanted this.  You know what's right for you, even if you don't want to admit it.  You know  _ I'm _ right for you.”

As Warren kissed along his neck and shoulder, Daniel leaned his head back, enveloped in his warmth.  This was the part he wanted to last forever, the part that didn’t hurt him.

_ I miss you. _

The words echoed in Daniel’s mind, unspoken for so long.  Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to say them.

“You don't have to come home with me if you don't want to,” Warren amended gently.  “I just wanted to give you a chance to get out of the house for a night.  I know how your dad is.”  Warren took a deep breath.  “We can talk in school.  You can dump Doug Eiffel,” Warren said with a little laugh.  “And everything will be fine.”

Daniel opened his eyes.

“No,”  he said.  “No, I can’t.  This isn’t going to work.  I’m not going to dump him just because  _ you’re _ jealous!”  He pulled out of Warren’s embrace, and though he immediately missed the comfort of Warren’s arms around him, he pushed the thought away.  “That’s all this is, isn’t it?  You’re jealous that he can have me and  _ you _ can’t!  You can’t stand the idea of someone else getting what you want!  You’re just a sore loser who can’t handle a defeat every once in awhile, and I’m not giving in just to make you feel better!”

Warren bit back the poisonous words that instantly came to him.  “That's not what this is.”  He had handled so much defeat lately, was it that hard to make Daniel trust him again?  “You know that.  Are you really going to throw away four years of loyalty over one or two bad times?  You said you loved me.”

“I thought I did.” Daniel pushed past Warren, heading for the door, determined not to let Warren’s words gloss over him this time.  

“Daniel,” he started gently, but firmly.  “Don't do this.  We’re better like this.  Together.”  He said the last word like a promise of something greater to come.  It was the way people said things like ‘once upon a time’ and ‘maybe one day’.

“No.”  Daniel said decisively.  “We’re better apart.”

***

It was dark when Warren returned home, Daniel in tow.  Without speaking, they trod the familiar path to Warren’s room and fell into bed.  Warren stared up at the ceiling in silence, seeing only inky blackness above.  He rolled over to see Daniel beside him, the other boy’s breathing steady, the smallest of smiles on his lips.  Despite everything that had happened, it was good to see Daniel happy.  

Warren sat up in the darkness, and reached over to grab Daniel’s scarf, sitting on the night table beside him.  For a moment, Warren held it in his hands, not seeing it as much as feeling the rough wool in his hands.  Then he looked over at Daniel once more.  

His next actions were driven by an emotion Warren couldn’t explain.  In a burst of energy, he wrapped the scarf around Daniel’s throat, pulling it into a deadly knot that tightened ever more.  Daniel’s eyes flew open, as did his mouth when he tried to scream.  All Warren knew was that he needed to stop it, to end the raw animalistic sound escaping his lover’s throat.  He tugged both ends of the scarf harder, pressing his mouth against Daniel’s to smother the screams.

Night isn’t as much black as it is purple and blue, shades of the darkest, coolest tones.  Daniel’s eyes, usually so bright, changed very little without the presence of light to reflect off of them.  His struggles ceased in vain, and his body fell limp.  Warren let go of the scarf, surveying his work.

Daniel was dead.

***

Warren’s eyes flew open, and he was greeted by the same darkness as his dream.  He sat up and looked at the bed beside him.  The covers were neatly pulled up, without a crease or a trace of anyone sleeping there.  Daniel’s scarf was lying on Warren’s desk across the room.

Warren’s heart was beating and his mind was racing.  It was only a dream, he told himself.  He remembered the recital earlier, and Daniel pushing him away.  He remembered returning home with his parents amidst showers of praise nd going to bed on his own.  There was no Daniel in his life.

Why, though?  Why had he dreamed about strangling Daniel in his sleep?  Would he really do something like that?

Warren had to remind himself that dreams were only imaginings of an uncontrolled mind, and that they meant nothing in the realm of reality.  He wasn’t some overly superstitious fool that blathered on about his dream journal.  Still, it left him shaken and wanting more than ever to see Daniel again, just to make sure he was alive.  It was a foolish desire, he knew that, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it.

He’d never known what it felt like to miss someone.  He’d never thought he would.  Warren told himself he didn’t care about Daniel, but if that was so, why did he want him back?  How could a feeling hurt like this?  Was Daniel feeling the same things?

Warren knew he might never know and that only hurt him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Warren in some well deserved pain was Nice. The next chapter is something a little different...


	15. Once Upon A Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, WE BACK! My writing partner and I got super busy, but we wrote this and we thought it'd be nice to dip our toes back into the world of this story. We do plan to finish this crazy journey, regardless of the show ending(cue me, crying in a corner). Enjoy!

Daniel’s gaze swept around the cafeteria, glaring at anyone who bothered to make eye contact with him. The people he usually sat with(and never talked to) had a full table today. Most other tables around were similarly not options; they were either full or there was some person he hated so much they might as well have been. Eventually, he made his way to a table with an uninhabited half, located in almost the exact center of the cafeteria. He took a seat, then proceeded to pull a bag lunch out of his backpack. A part of him died when he saw what looked like some kind of preppy idiot headed right in his direction. He did not need this today.  
“Get out of my seat.” The boy ordered with the demeanor of an entitled prick. He wore a blazer and a sour expression.  
Daniel gasped, drawing a hand to his heart. “Your seat? Oh my stars, I’m so sorry! It’s not like there’s an empty bench or anything!” He looked around, eyes lingering on the empty bench. “Oh wait…” he said, as if he had made a discovery.  
The boy leaned across the table, a tight smile growing on his face. “Lord, what fools these mortals be…” He shook his head, apparently astounded by Daniel’s unwillingness to to instantly bend to his will.  
Daniel leaned forward, closing the gap between them a little more. “Mortals? Are you some kind of god? Do you think you’re special? Pretty little rich boy thinks he owns the earth,” Daniel scoffed.  
“I think you’re pushing your luck,” The boy spoke evenly, either not intimidated or good at not showing it. “Kindly find somewhere else to sit.”  
“Make me,” Daniel replied easily, perfectly willing to fight this Senator-in-training. He was bored enough. For additional smarm, he batted his eyelashes, almost flirtatiously. “But at least buy me dinner first.” Definitely flirtatiously.  
The boy raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got some nerve.”  
“Maybe I do.” Daniel replied. Maybe it was a stupid idea, but fighting this guy would at least give him something to do, make lunch pass faster.   
The boy’s hand darted out, and Daniel braced himself for the first punch; he had always been good at taking a hit. But to his confusion, the boy simply rested two fingers under his chin and tilted his head upwards. “That nerve might get you in trouble if you don’t move,” he said gently, borderline sweetly.  
“Make. Me,” Daniel finally remembered to jerk his chin away. “I’m not taking orders from anyone wearing a blazer bought in the ‘Elderly Lawyer’ section of the store.”  
The boy slammed his hands on the table, yet his face remained calm, calculated, controlled- even a little interested? “Do yourself a favor...someone with spirit like yours shouldn’t waste it.”  
Daniel half grinned. If this boy wasn’t looking for a fight, he’d have to try harder. He put his hand on top of the boy’s, interlinking their fingers. “There’s plenty of room for you to sit. And since you don’t seem to want to move me yourself and I’m in ‘your spot’, maybe you should sit on my lap.”  
“You’ll have to earn that.” The boy pulled his hands away, the slightest smile resting on his lips as he headed in the opposite direction.  
Daniel stared after him, dumbfounded. What the fuck?  
***  
Daniel tossed his pencil up in the air, caught it, then tossed it up again. He was waiting for his new student tutor for biology. He didn’t like the idea of some student teaching him for service hours, in fact, he hated it, but it was teacher-mandated. Apparently not turning in any homework more than half done could make you fail a class.   
The door opened and another student walked in. To his surprise, it was none other than the preppy, blazer-wearing asshole from the lunchroom, sporting a triumphant grin that spoke volumes about his involvement in bringing this moment into being.  
Daniel’s pencil hit the floor. “The preppy idiots club is down the hall, honey.”  
The boy chuckled. “Oh no, I’m your tutor. Kepler. Warren Kepler.” Warren crossed to stand by Daniel’s desk. “Nice to meet you. Daniel, right?”  
Daniel looked up at him critically. “Seriously? How can you be my tutor? We’re both freshmen.”  
“I happen to be acing this class, Daniel.” Warren said, pulling up a chair. “Honestly, anyone could be tutoring you, with the level you’re at. You’re lucky to have someone like me.” He flashed a charming smile.  
“Oh, I feel so fucking blessed to be some rich boy’s charity project,” Daniel snapped.  
“Shall we get started, or would you like to keep insulting me?” Warren asked calmly.  
“I’d like to keep insulting you,” Daniel deadpanned.  
“Well, that’s not going to get you anywhere in life,” Warren scolded. “But have at it.”  
“You dress like a pretentious snob,” Daniel started.  
Warren’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing.  
“You’re probably a huge teacher’s pet,” Daniel continued.  
“The job has its perks,” Warren said, unfazed.  
“You spend all your free time studying, ruining curves, and tutoring people who you think are stupid. I’m not stupid,” Daniel declared.  
“Sorry, was there… an insult in there? I must’ve missed it. And I wouldn’t exactly call someone who is failing all their classes- even P.E.- a genius.” Warren replied, showing no sign of the desired offense. “Now, are you ready to begin? Because I’m teaching you whether you like it or not.”  
“I don’t need your fucking help.” Daniel pushed the worksheet in front of him away. “I understand all of this, biology is the most basic science in the world, I just don’t care. So I fail, whatever. Not like I have anything great ahead of me. We don’t all have perfect lives and trust funds.”  
“What, so you want to be some pathetic angry kid all your life? You’re doing an excellent job of it. What a waste.”  
“I’m not pathetic,” Daniel muttered. “Fuck off. Do your homework or something, you get service hours regardless of whether or not I fail.”  
“If you think you already know these things, prove it. Don’t waste my time.” Warren said, frustration growing in his voice.   
Daniel shrugged, secretly revelling in his success. “My pencil is on the floor.” He kicked his feet up on the desk, making it clear that he wasn’t planning to get it.  
“So it is,” Warren replied, already having suppressed any signs of anger. “You might want to pick that up.”  
Daniel shook his head. He pulled out his phone and started taking selfies; he figured the millennial nonsense would the best way to piss off someone as high and mighty as Warren. “So, why didn’t you punch me earlier? Too scared to ruin your goody two shoes image? Most guys in this school flip out when I flirt, even jokingly.”  
“I’ll answer that question once you answer this one.” Warren pulled the worksheet free of Daniel’s foot and brandished it in his face.  
Daniel scowled. “Fine. Don’t wanna know that badly.” Warren and him shared a look. Daniel listened to thirty ticks of the clock before he snatched the paper from the other boy’s hands, scrawled the word ‘photosynthesis’, then looked up at Warren expectantly.  
“Correct. I didn’t punch you because fighting is against the rules and I would get in trouble. Honestly.”  
“Not because you didn’t want to hurt my pretty face?” Daniel asked with mock offense.  
“Nice try, but getting punched might actually improve your appearance.” Warren said thoughtfully, smirking. “It certainly couldn’t make it any worse.”  
Daniel pouted. “Fuck you.”  
***  
“Daniel, are you listening?” The class went silent, everyone turning to watch Daniel. They all knew the feeling of being called out for not paying attention.  
Daniel didn’t mind the spotlight at all. “Why, of course I am! I mean, your lecture about the Cold War is so interesting, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.” The class erupted in snickers.  
The teacher frowned. “I have had enough of your sass, Daniel. I’ll be seeing you in detention after school today.”  
The laughter of the class died. “But I-” Daniel started to argue, but was cut off.  
“Ma’am, I don’t believe he was sassing you.” Warren’s voice cut cleanly through the room like a knife. “Your lecture was genuinely interesting, wasn’t it, Daniel?”  
“Uh, yes, definitely, totally!” Daniel went with it. He loved indiscriminate sarcasm, but he wasn’t going to pay the price, especially after Warren stuck his neck out to help.  
The teacher looked reluctant to go along with their story, but eventually nodded. Apparently Warren’s teacher’s pet status came with some prestige. “Consider this a warning, Daniel.”  
Daniel spent the last few minutes of class pretending to take notes. When at last the bell rang, he hovered outside, waiting for Warren. Upon seeing Warren, Daniel quickly leaned against the lockers and gazed off in another direction, so he didn’t look like he had been waiting.  
“You need to watch your tone if you don’t want detention,” Warren warned him (Daniel pretended to be pleasantly surprised by his arrival). “I won’t always be around to save you.”  
“Oh, no, then who will be my knight in shining armor?” Daniel smirked.  
“I guess you’ll have to learn to save yourself.”  
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Really though, thanks. You saved me from a wasted hour of my life, not to mention some parental rage.” Despite himself, he shuddered at the thought.  
“Not a problem.” Warren replied. “I do what I can.”  
“You sure can do a lot,” Daniel muttered.  
***  
Daniel knocked on the door frantically. It was dark out, and he had walked here, which was stupid, but he had nowhere else to go. He had just needed to get out.  
Warren opened the door and frowned at him.  
“Daniel? What the hell are you doing here?”  
Daniel instantly regretted his choice to come with the look Warren gave him. He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. It was ten o’clock on a school night, he must’ve seemed crazy. “I…I’m sorry, I’ll go, I don’t want to interrupt you or your parents and I...yeah, bye.”  
“Wait.” Warren stepped outside. “My parents aren’t here. What’s going on?”  
“I, uh...I got in a real bad fight with my dad,” Daniel admitted.  
Warren’s eyes widened and he stepped aside. “Come in. Do you want to talk about it?”  
Daniel slowly stepped inside. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “You wouldn’t get it. Your parents are like these amazing, successful people and you’re going to be this amazing, successful person and I’m...not.”  
Warren closed the door behind them and guided Daniel into the living room. “That’s not true. Your parents can’t control the person you choose to become. That’s up to you.”  
“Parent,” Daniel corrected weakly. “I’m just a fuck up, you said it yourself, I’m pathetic. I’m failing everything and I don’t even care.”  
“But you do care. You’re getting better, you’re trying. That’s what’s important. And if I ever said you were a fuck up, I was wrong.”  
Daniel shook his head. “Everyone knows I am. Mom knew. Dad knows.” His voice caught on the last word.  
“You’re not.” Warren repeated, more firmly this time. “Trust me. Your dad is wrong if that’s what he thinks of you.”  
Daniel stared down at his hands. His knuckles were bruised from when he had punched the wall. “He seems pretty convinced.”  
“He’s wrong.” Warren placed his hands over Daniel’s. He resisted the urge to flinch. “Listen to me, you are not a failure, Daniel.”  
“Thanks,” Daniel whispered, glancing up at Warren.  
“No problem.” Warren reached out to rest a hand on Daniel’s arm, but this time, he did flinch away from the contact. It was all too much for him right now. He had no clue what he was even doing here. “Daniel… are you… alright?”  
Daniel looked away. He sat there in silence. Warren waited patiently. “He punched me,” Daniel said in a voice so small, it was barely audible.  
Warren’s face was unreadable for a moment, then turned sympathetic. “I’m… I’m sorry.” He put an arm gently around Daniel’s shoulders. Daniel allowed him to. He didn’t know what he wanted badly enough to fight it.  
“I don’t know what to do,” Daniel said, no, he pleaded.  
“You can stay the night if you’d like,” Warren offered, the way someone would offer a bag of chips or a change of song on the radio. Like this was normal. Like he wasn’t a human disaster. “You don’t have to go back.”  
Daniel opened his mouth to make a sarcastic jibe about ‘staying the night’ and its many suggestive implications, but then he closed it. He wasn’t ready to go back to his jokes and defense mechanisms yet. He nodded.  
“Okay. I’ll be right back. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”  
Daniel slowly laid down on the couch. He turned on his side, resting his head on his arm. He took a few deep breaths, and before Warren returned, he had already drifted off to sleep.  
Warren stood in the doorway for a moment before crossing to the sofa. An affectionate smile tugged at his lips as he draped a blanket over Daniel’s sleeping form.  
***  
“...And it’s like, there are fairies, why the fuck are there fairies? They never even solve the fact that Demetrius is still in love with Helena, it’s stupid! I mean, I only read the Sparknotes, but still!”   
“How could you only read the Sparknotes? Shakespeare’s works are poetry that can only truly be appreciated through the original text, Daniel. I can’t believe you.” Warren shook his head in disapproval.  
Daniel resisted the urge to laugh. “There are so many more interesting things to do with your mouth than read poetry, Warren.”  
Warren glanced sideways at Daniel. “I demand that you go back and read A Midsummer Night’s Dream without the Sparknotes. There are so many good quotes and themes from the show that you miss when you only read a summary.”  
“No way, I read enough to pass the class. Also, what’s with the ‘it’s all a dream’ ending? What is this, inception?”  
“If you’d read the play, you’d know that it wasn’t a dream, they were only made to think it may have all been a dream.” Warren corrected patiently.   
“No, but that fairy, the one I relate to, has that thing at the end where he talks to the reader and is like, ‘this was all a dream, assholes!’”  
“I hope that’s not how Sparknotes summarized Puck’s ending monologue,” Warren replied. “Honestly, you can’t get by with only Sparknotes.”  
“I know more about Puck than I’d ever need to.” Daniel raised his eyebrows suggestively. “You can Puck me anytime.”  
Warren leaned closer, resting a hand on his companion's hand, as well as tempting the fates(and Daniel). “I’ll keep that in mind.”  
Daniel felt the beginnings of a blush creep onto his cheeks. Warren had never reciprocated any of his useless flirting, but now their hands were touching and it definitely felt more than friendly. “Maybe you should keep it somewhere other than your mind,” Daniel tried, testing the waters to see how far Warren was willing to go with this.  
Warren closed most of the remaining distance between them, until their noses were nearly brushing. “I fully intend to.” He breathed, before tilting his head and pressing his lips gently against Daniel’s for a brief second before pulling away.  
Daniel’s eyes widened. He tilted his head, going in for another, slightly longer kiss.  
When they came apart, Warren smiled.  
“I still expect you to read A Midsummer Night’s Dream without the Sparknotes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're ditching the every Sunday schedule because neither of us can manage that right now, but we will definitely be posting more chapters soon! If you're enjoying it, drop a kudos or simply tell us in the comments-would you move if a jerk in a blazer asked you to? We've really loved all the feedback we've gotten on this fic and we're so happy to be moving forward with it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder, my tumblr is @mthedm, I post cool Wolf 359 stuff and cry about the new episodes!


End file.
